xxoo Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Im sorry but maybe YOU get aroused that way but i dont neither do a lot of people its not something i can control people are attracted to what they are attracted to.. With that said im not attracted to only one type or only really hot women you assume im only into women with amazing physiques while im not into fat women a women doesnt have to have a knockout body by any stretch just not awful and as long as her face is acceptable i can get attracted.. And what you said about men was they werent unattractive just not your "ideal" ..i bet if they had unattractive faces you would not be turned on by them I've been turned on by men who did not have particularly attractive faces, too. Sometimes it is ALL about his amazing intelligence and capability. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I don't know, maybe. It's rare that I find such a woman (one that I'm not attracted to). Most women in the world are attractive, probably about 75-80% are way out of my league. So, I can't imagine having the problem of being with someone I wasn't attracted to... Link to post Share on other sites
Author PJKino Posted May 23, 2013 Author Share Posted May 23, 2013 So if you were a with a really nice looking girl and then she, god forbid, had an accident that did some damage and you weren't sexually super turned on anymore that's it you'd end the relationship? No offense but examples like this and what about when you're 80 are stupid..Of course if i was already in a relationship and loved the person i would stay but the bond/connection would already be there.. But i would never get into a relationship or try to start a bond/connection from the begining if the physical attraction was not there.. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 There are many things that attract women, and it's not all about looks. A guy with a great personality will attract women. A guy that is fun to be with, or has a good sense of humor will attract women. A guy that has confidence will attract women. It's not all about looks for women, even if it is for you apparently. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PJKino Posted May 23, 2013 Author Share Posted May 23, 2013 I've been turned on by men who did not have particularly attractive faces, too. Sometimes it is ALL about his amazing intelligence and capability. Good for you my attraction doesnt work that way and its not something i can change were attracted to what were attracted to.. As i said im not looking for perfection but i need to be at least somewhat attracted physically she doesnt have to be a knockout at all.. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 But i would never get into a relationship or try to start a bond/connection from the begining if the physical attraction was not there.. So you could be with someone you loved but weren't physically attracted to. But you wouldn't given them a chance from the off? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Well ... I can admit in my wilder days I was once among the "I can live without the physical attraction" side. My second to last boyfriend was certainly less attractive than I was, but I went into it with a bad attitude. He and I were not right for one another in any sense of the word, we were too different (backgrounds, values, opinions, etc.) and had next to nothing in common. We were trying to make a sandwich with the last two slices of bread, and we made a bad sandwich. I think as we age and loose our "cuteness" that we tend to have when we're younger we can look at others and try to evaluate things they have to offer other than their appearances. Personally, I think the best thing to do is to keep your weight down and you better work HARD at that. I mean really, after a while when two people have been together for a while (married or not), they reach a point where they stop having sex as often as before because their values and priorities change. It's just a fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 So you could be with someone you loved but weren't physically attracted to. But you wouldn't given them a chance from the off? Why? Although saying that like I say im a picky guy I don't go around looking for girls im not attracted to! But if there the two options your hypothetically giving me - I wouldn't grow old by myself! Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 So if you were a with a really nice looking girl and then she, god forbid, had an accident that did some damage and you weren't sexually super turned on anymore that's it you'd end the relationship? Do you think it is possible to remained turned on by a partner after such an event? I do. Not based on looks, but on sexual chemistry. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 No offense but examples like this and what about when you're 80 are stupid..Of course if i was already in a relationship and loved the person i would stay but the bond/connection would already be there.. But i would never get into a relationship or try to start a bond/connection from the begining if the physical attraction was not there.. Ok well a lot of relationships don't start with an instant physical attraction. As you get to know the person your attraction grows, and that takes tine. How long are you waiting to see if attraction can grow between you and a potential mate? Are you waiting at all? If you give a woman a once over on a first date and decide from that one meeting that you're not into her, and then continue to tell yourself that instead of making space for attraction to develop, you're shooting yourself in the foot. It's hard to believe you've been on this earth for over thirty years and been unable to have more than one serious relationship to a woman you're attracted to. There are so many different types of people and attraction can manifest in so many ways. Also, I don't believe your luck is that bad. Maybe you need more time to let attraction develop with a person instead of expecting attraction to just be present right up front. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Do you think it is possible to remained turned on by a partner after such an event? I do. Not based on looks, but on sexual chemistry. err yeah - if you've got enough history with someone, I reckon you could be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PJKino Posted May 23, 2013 Author Share Posted May 23, 2013 Ok well a lot of relationships don't start with an instant physical attraction. As you get to know the person your attraction grows, and that takes tine. How long are you waiting to see if attraction can grow between you and a potential mate? Are you waiting at all? If you give a woman a once over on a first date and decide from that one meeting that you're not into her, and then continue to tell yourself that instead of making space for attraction to develop, you're shooting yourself in the foot. It's hard to believe you've been on this earth for over thirty years and been unable to have more than one serious relationship to a woman you're attracted to. There are so many different types of people and attraction can manifest in so many ways. Also, I don't believe your luck is that bad. Maybe you need more time to let attraction develop with a person instead of expecting attraction to just be present right up front. I dont even get first dates so its not like women im not attracted to are banging down my door either i just know myself and i need some physical attraction doesnt mean she has to be a knockout by any stretch but if i find her unattractive i cant do it Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I dont even get first dates so its not like women im not attracted to are banging down my door either i just know myself and i need some physical attraction doesnt mean she has to be a knockout by any stretch but if i find her unattractive i cant do it ....If I were you I'd be more concerned that I can't land a date with anyone than I would be about not being attracted to women I date. Kind of a crawl before you can walk thing. I sill think you are dismissing women too quickly and that is why you can't seem to see any women as attractive. Hope something changes for you, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I rather stay single. If I can't see me being happy sleeping with her and being interested in her, there is no reason for me to approach her. Of course, finding a decent woman is difficult enough as it is. Can't worry about dating until I get past that step. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
straightshooter82 Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I'd rather stay single if there isn't at least some physical attraction. I'm jealous of the people who say they can develop an attraction to someone over time even if they aren't their physical type. In my experience, these people tend to be women. I'm just not that way. If I can't envision getting any pleasure from kissing a woman then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to miraculously become physically attracted to her in the future and want to kiss her regardless of how funny, intelligent, caring, etc she is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 (edited) I'd rather be alone. It's much better that way. I'm gonna be rich anyway, so it won't matter. Ok well a lot of relationships don't start with an instant physical attraction. As you get to know the person your attraction grows, and that takes tine. How long are you waiting to see if attraction can grow between you and a potential mate? Are you waiting at all? If you give a woman a once over on a first date and decide from that one meeting that you're not into her, and then continue to tell yourself that instead of making space for attraction to develop, you're shooting yourself in the foot. It's hard to believe you've been on this earth for over thirty years and been unable to have more than one serious relationship to a woman you're attracted to. There are so many different types of people and attraction can manifest in so many ways. Also, I don't believe your luck is that bad. Maybe you need more time to let attraction develop with a person instead of expecting attraction to just be present right up front. But when you let attraction try to develop, that's when you get friend-zoned. I know it's hard to believe but there are many virgins over the age of thirty, most of them male. Maybe he has had bad luck running into specific women who aren't into him, or maybe he has no luck at all, but the fact of the matter is that he is still single. Unfortunately, trends such as this do not tend to reverse themselves when they have gone on for long periods of time. Edited May 23, 2013 by Pompeii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coachcomeback Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 No i clearly said i cant get a women im attracted to..Theyre's plenty of women im physically attracted to i just cant attract them AHHH! That is my mistake. I misread that! My apologies. Well in that case I would have to say any kind of companionship is better than nothing. We thrive on human interaction and relationships. Try getting close with one as a friend. One you have lots in common with and see if you can make a BFF out of her. Then you may get lucky enough to attract another... then another and yet another. It is contagious. Just being around people you will start to attract more people. There is bound to be a hottie in that mix that cant resist your charms! Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) This is the choice I make on regular basis. Perhaps in my old age I will come to regret it. I just feel incredibly sad about being with someone I am not attracted to (even if he was a great guy on paper, including being decent looking). The thought of being alone forever also makes me sad, but not as sad as the the other choice. Don't worry. You will find what you are looking for in a relationship. I'm clairvoyant. And, I'd rather be "alone" the rest of my life than enter an intimate relationship with someone with whom I did not have "that" connection. I would not be alone anyway, though. I have a great deal of community, companionship and intellectual stimulation among my group of friends and family members. Edited May 24, 2013 by Mme. Chaucer 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Physical attraction to at all? I know some people are willing to i just cant do it..Im 33 and never been in a relationship and i cant attract any women im physically attracted to at all so im prepared to go without any one for the rest of my life rather then settle with a women i cant picture being intimate with.. Im not extremely picky but if theyres no physical attraction at all my heart wouldnt be in it on a intimate level.. Having had a marriage where this happened, I have learned I would much rather be alone. It is far worse to be lonely in a relationship than to be alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I think I could deal with it. I find myself physically attracted to most women, though, so I'm not sure I have to worry all that bad about this. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Alone? Or single? Because they are two very different things. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Having a family and companionship is important to me, so I’d take a lack of physical attraction over being alone. I can imagine physical attraction growing if I met someone who I respected and enjoyed being around. I would sacrifice physical attraction for other important characteristics like kindness, being a good father, etc. Would I date someone I found physically repulsive? No, but I can’t imagine finding a man entirely repulsive unless he had non-physical traits I didn’t respect or respond to. I’ve been turned off by very attractive men before, so attraction really has little to do with objectively good looks. I would, however, choose being alone over being with a man who was a jerk, even if he was hot. Link to post Share on other sites
Emeral Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 as long as i have my friends, being alone isnt so bad, a relationship with a person your not fully attracted to sounds like hell to me, and im not ready for hell yet, and yould aslo be harming the person youre with since your not truly with them, and then there would be the kids....so i think from my perspective it can get really ugly.....alone and happy is my vote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Luckydad Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 OP, I was with my ex for 18 years. My attraction to her was completely gone for the last 10 or 12 of those years. Take the advice of others here who say alone is better. Abject misery is far worse. I'm sort of where you are now. I've been alone for the last 3.5 years and recently decided to try OLD. It seems the only women interested in me were those I was not interested in at all...deleted my profile and committed to "monkdom" for another 3 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I'm clairvoyant. LOL Well that explains a lot! You think you can read my mind. It all makes sense now. Link to post Share on other sites
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