i know this is crazy but I need to get it off...

[C00kie]

I haven't read the other replies to your post so this can come out as repetitive, but here goes: you just have this desperate need to be loved. Even if it is at your own expense. I mean, we can all fall in love with a married man and go through a bad experience. However, if opportunity presents itself AGAIN and you consider going for it AGAIN something is really wrong with your sense of love and self-worth.

 

I'm sure you're a very loving person, capable of loving your partner and doing everything for them. But everything should NEVER mean putting yourself in a very bad, unfair and kind of humiliating position over and over again. I know it's cliche but you REALLY must love yourself before loving others. This is just not healthy and nothing good can come out of it.

 

You say you don't want anything to happen between the two of you right now, but your whole speech tells me that if he's nice enough, and comes close enough, it will happen. And you will hurt again. Even if it was to end like in a fairy tale, you know you would still have crazy, insane, hurtful times ahead of you. You don't need that. You don't deserve that.

 

Please drop it right now. Go to therapy. Psychologist (NOT psychiatrist) would be able to help you a lot. Work on yourself first. You'll never be able to mantain a healthy relationship if you don't do so...I'm very worried about you at this very moment. You're worth more.

Work on your sense of self love, self worth.

 

Keep us posted! Good luck!

[loredo21]

I haven't read the other replies to your post so this can come out as repetitive, but here goes: you just have this desperate need to be loved. Even if it is at your own expense. I mean, we can all fall in love with a married man and go through a bad experience. However, if opportunity presents itself AGAIN and you consider going for it AGAIN something is really wrong with your sense of love and self-worth.

 

I'm sure you're a very loving person, capable of loving your partner and doing everything for them. But everything should NEVER mean putting yourself in a very bad, unfair and kind of humiliating position over and over again. I know it's cliche but you REALLY must love yourself before loving others. This is just not healthy and nothing good can come out of it.

 

You say you don't want anything to happen between the two of you right now, but your whole speech tells me that if he's nice enough, and comes close enough, it will happen. And you will hurt again. Even if it was to end like in a fairy tale, you know you would still have crazy, insane, hurtful times ahead of you. You don't need that. You don't deserve that.

 

Please drop it right now. Go to therapy. Psychologist (NOT psychiatrist) would be able to help you a lot. Work on yourself first. You'll never be able to mantain a healthy relationship if you don't do so...I'm very worried about you at this very moment. You're worth more.

Work on your sense of self love, self worth.

 

Keep us posted! Good luck!

 

Don't worry C00kie. There has been no contact. And there won't be. I can't say that I don't think about him. I do every single day. I don't know why, but maybe it has showed me what I think I want a deserve out of a man.... a SINGLE man, and a single me....That or the universe is giving me the same test over and over again. I will not fail it this time. I will never see him again, and I can accept that.

[Foreverpatient]

Hi L~ wow. You must be experiencing an array of emotions with the end of one relationship and the potential beginning of another simultaneously. It sounds like you're trying to be smart but I caution you to be careful. Once you've been involved in forbidden love, many women and men develop an addiction (for lack of a better word) to it. It sometimes has very little to do with the AP, but with the euphoria of the attention, communication and feeling desired by the WS. It's that new emotional (or physical) intimacy that makes us more susceptible to winding up in an A. Please, please stand your ground and not get involved while he's married. It is the best way you can love yourself and bring back your self esteem- knowing you're not playing runner up again. I'm struggling with it myself and am trying to make the break with MM before anyone (BS. Children) gets hurt. Sadly, I've been down this road once before. I swore I'd never get involved with a MM again, but I fell back in.

 

By the way, what are some of the songs MM recorded for you? I have a feeling something similar was once presented to me.

[Pierre]

Loredo

 

Emotionally healthy people generally don't fall as you do. You are still looking for external validation. People that have normal relationships cannot fall for someone else so soon when ending a relationship. The last thing you need in the world is another married man.