Is my husband cheating..? pls say it's my imagination...HELP!!!

[VerySadWifey]

i need serious advice regarding my marraige. i've been married to my husband for 6 years. we have a 4 y/old son. we are both in our early forties.

 

during the last summer, my husband and i were looking for a new babysitter for our child. he insisted on being the one to make the final choice regarding who we were going to hire. No wonder! he chose a 22 year-old college girl with a pair of 36DDD in breast size at least.

 

should I be concerned. please look at these little hints. 1 month ago, i came back from work and caught them both in the kitchen, with him standing behind her massaging her breasts under her t-shirt. i immediately yelled and they stopped. i told her she is fired but my husband insisted that he was just "doing that" because he has always like women with large breasts, that's all. he promised me that it never went beyond fondling her boobs. so we decided to keep her.

 

but last night, i came back from work and when i got into the house, i heard noises coming from the basement, almost sounded like people who were out of breath. i also heard the sound of a hand slapping against someone's skin. then the final blow, i heard a long grunt coming out of my husband's mouth..

 

But the strange part, is the fact that the door to the basement was close. so after about 30 minutes, here comes my husband with the babysitter from the basement. he opened the door and had that startled look on his face when he saw me and got very defensive accusing me of spying on him. i asked him what they were doing in the basement and why he has to close the door to the basement. he said that he was helping her with her school homework and did not want to be disturbed.....meanwhile, my 4 y/o son is on the seocnd floor sleeping by himself...

 

should i be concerned? is this all in my imagination? someone pls help! i cannot seem to eat/sleep since yeasterday.

[She's Come Undone]

Sweetie, open your eyes. Then open the door, and get out!!!! Oh, don't forget your son!

 

Your husband is scum, he knows it, he won't be surprised if you leave him. He WILL try and make you feel crazy, paranoid, and perhaps like it's your fault.

 

If you still don't believe it, get a hidden camera, or voice-activated tape recorder. Do SOMEthing, you can't go on like this!

 

I'm sorry for your pain!

[Merin]

MG!

 

He had his hands on her boob's rubbing them and she is still working for you?

 

He!! NO!

 

You're husband is out of his damn mind! Sorry, but yeah I would say that hubby is having an affair with the babysitter, and to make it worse... in YOUR home!

 

Bulls***, he was just "helping" her with her homework... in the freaking basement? So they were not disturbed? Disturbed from what or whom? Your son is 4 years old, and I think good ol dad was more worried that your little man, might say what he saw.....

 

Fire the babysitter! I don't care what your husband says, this isn't okay. You need to let hubby know whats up! Don't listen to none of his B.S about you were spying on him... he was rubbing her boobs for Godsake and you caught him, that alone would have been enough for me.

 

Decision time for hubby... (and really even for you) he either wants to keep his marriage to you and work at it, or he needs to hit the road.

 

Let him know in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that this is stopping TODAY. The babysitter is GONE. As far as the two of you... only you know for certain what you want out of this... and if it's the marriage and him, then he has A LOT of work to do.

 

Jeez!

[tiki]

The message is very clear that he is cheating on you. I think you know that.

[GirlDown]

it saddens me that you let the "rubbing of young girl's large breasts" incident go because he "likes large breasts..."

 

what if he liked 22-year-old vaginas? would that have been okay too?

 

what if you liked big d*cks? would it be okay with him if he caught you in the kitchen, lovingly carressing another man's penis, simply because you admired its size?

 

it also saddens me that your husband is such a jacka$$.

 

it saddens me even more that you had to come here to ask if this bahaviour is okay.

 

your husband is cheating on you with a whore who takes care of and spends time with YOUR CHILD. get rid of both of them.

 

you shouldn't need someone to tell you this.

[tiki]

Originally posted by VerySadWifey

please look at these little hints.

 

P.S. These are not little hints. This cannot be real, man.

[young&idealistic]

I'm sorry to just repeat what's already been said, but this situation is so extreme I feel I have to say something! You already caught him feeling this woman's breasts? Isn't THAT cheating??? That alone would have been grounds for considering divorce, but to keep the babysitter around? He should have been falling at your feet begging for forgiveness, not begging to let the other woman stay around.

 

Please, like someone already mentioned, just try to imagine how he would have reacted if he'd seen you fondling the gardener's penis in his kitchen. Would he have forgiven you and kept the man on as an employee, if you explained how you loved big dicks?

 

Also, put yourself in this young woman's place. Would you have allowed a man in that situation to fondle your breasts if you were planning on turning down sex with him? She knew what she was getting into. And she made a mockery of your home, trying to take on the role of little wifey to your husband along with her part-time role as caretaker of your child.

 

And I think you know what was going on in the basement. Here's the pertinent question. Why didn't you open the door and go down there?

 

I know it's sometimes easier to deny a problem exists than deal with all of the changes that come along with recognizing and reacting to it. I hope that things work out for you, but yes, your husband is cheating on you and doing a very poor job of covering it up. Some people say a man who cheats in his own home is looking to get caught... Something to think about.

[fiatflux]

I suspect that "VerySadWifey" is actually a teenaged boy getting his jollies by taking us for a ride.

[VerySadWifey]

You have all been so supportive.

 

I forgot to thank you in my previous post. my life is such a mess right now. i am trying to make some sense of what is happening but can't seem to do so.

 

I have confronted him tonight and it did not turn out very well. He ended up leaving... I told him that I knew the truth and that the babysitter had been honest with me. He kind of acted surprised and did not beleive me at first. But as I gave him more details of the affair, he finally confessed that he did in fact go beyong fondling her boobs bur gave no further detail.

 

So I told him that either I leave or he leaves until we decide what to do next with our marriage...He decided to be the one to leave since he doesn't want to be the one keeping my son.

 

Before he left, he said something that will be engraved in my mind forever.....

 

He said: " I am going to seriously ravage some pussies tonight, bang some serious DDDs you never dreamed existed. So please, please, please, don't wait up for me".

 

It is sincerely the most crual phrase that I've ever heard in my life.

 

OMG, what am I going to do? My life is ruined! I still cannot beleive that I am living this.

[Mary3]

Lets assume the Poster is for real :

 

Okay it does not matter if you kick the baby sitter out ....Your husband has had a * taste * of her and he will definately be seeking somemore 22 year old DDD Breasts....If he is as much of a scum bag as I think he will be chasing that pootang and plenty more.

 

Your last post made me think this was all a joke ..a sick one....but if its TRUE you need a lawyer and start dividing up the property and let your husband screw the brains out of all he wants....but at least this time you wont be standing at the basement door waiting for them to be over with their * sex act * :

[Barby]

well assuming this is for real, HE DID YOU A FAVOR BY LEAVING YOU!!!!!

 

 

If you couldn't see that he was cheating when you caught him rubbing her chest then I'm sorry you should not have been suprised when you found out he was fuc%ing her!!!

 

Let him go, no matter how long you two have been married no one deserves this and no one should have to put up with it. You're able to take care of yourself, you have a job, you have your son, if you can't afford the house stay with relatives until you can afford to get a cheaper place.

 

He's really wrong and you were wrong for not firing her and kicking his a$$ out in the first place.

[jesicka30]

its not like it is impossible for your situation there was a reply that thought your story was a crock anyway your hubby or hopefully ex hubby screams midlife crisis what a freaken spaz and what really topped it of was that your probly wanted him to at least say sorry but look on the bright side (even though it dont make it any less heart wrenching) if he beg for your forgiveness you would deffinatly give him chance after chance i feel for you.

 

if it is any consolation when my sons dad started messing around on me i found a pair of thong panties in his jacket pocket hanging in the closet, when confronted him he took the panties and took a slow long sniff at he crouch area right in front of my face. (needless to say i tried to rip his face off lol) that was 4 years ago and now we are realy good friends.

[FolderWife]

Originally posted by VerySadWifey

He said: " I am going to seriously ravage some pussies tonight, bang some serious DDDs you never dreamed existed. So please, please, please, don't wait up for me".

 

It is sincerely the most crual phrase that I've ever heard in my life.

 

OMG, what am I going to do? My life is ruined! I still cannot beleive that I am living this.

 

WHAT A $%%&*^q# !#@^#$%#@ #@$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

ok, first this s*** head cheats on you, then he has the nerve to say that to you when you kick him out????!!! I pray that you don't let him back in the house!!! PLEASE don't ever let him near you after those words, honey. No one deserves that! Write it all down, so when you get a divorce lawyer, he can use this abuse against him, and you'll get more in the divorce settlement.

 

And PLEASE tell me that you're divorcing this SOB