BlackGoaty Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Something have always been on my mind when it comes to friendship, pardon me if I have posted this on the wrong sub-forum but I find it more suited in this sub-forum as I am just finding and improving myself as a human being. As I grow older, I have learnt to cut out many toxic friendships or what I call them fairweather friends (for having fun, partying, activities etc & such). I have a few good friends who are total opposite of me example, I will not do any of the stuff they do or say. They don't instill their lifestyle in me neither do I but at times, I cannot help that I am feeling "hypocritical" when I go out with them for dinner/drinks or just hanging out, maybe too harsh a word to use to describe in this case but everyone's an individual and I cannot expect people to be on the same plane as me. Recently I met up with an ex whom I stopped contact after the breakup 10 years ago (we stopped contact for 5 years out of that 10 years) and subsequently, I learn to forgive and forget, so why not just catch up once in a while if the ex initiate contact. We would catch up every 6-9 months over dinner and drinks and the most recent catch up left me with such a vile feeling that this person is not genuinely concern about me or my life. All she wanted to do was tell me about her life, asking me about new gossips in my life etc...kind of difficult to say the exact feelings. Would I be hypocritical if I still do the catch up with her if she initiate it and I just listen to her stories but share none of mine as I dont feel that she would provide any source of help or what but gossip-fodder for her? This is an example of how I feel with some of my friends to the extent that I feel I am better off hanging out on my own. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 She is an ex, and she doesn't care about your needs...you've stated this yourself. It is the point to cut her out of your friendship circle. You are not gaining anything by talking to her, except for maybe reliving old memories. I would cut her loose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackGoaty Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 She is an ex, and she doesn't care about your needs...you've stated this yourself. It is the point to cut her out of your friendship circle. You are not gaining anything by talking to her, except for maybe reliving old memories. I would cut her loose. Sorry I was stating a general term using the ex as an example but it would be no different from a good friend who was not an ex. And yes I can cut an ex loose anytime, no problem. But if I were to do it with my good friends, I would be the only person and only friend I have is myself. Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 As for this ex-gf - you can use her as a social-link - ask her if she knows any cool single ladies and being with her you could get to know some new people. Once you start talking to these "new" people, you can flush her to the background and forget her =) As for other pseudo-friends, partly I agree you must cut out bad company, but the other part is- its sometimes very lonely alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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