I'm 15, never been kissed and very low self esteem...

[LauraNorth]

Hey guys,

 

I'm Laura, I'm 15 and I live probably thousands of miles away for some of you (Europe)

 

I'm feeling a little down lately, because everyone around me is getting boyfriends and kissing and some even got to the next level, but I am just alone. I know I am young, but I start blaming myself for it, as if I'm not pretty enough or if I'm doing something wrong...

 

How do you get guys to like you?? Please help me...

[tman666]

Kissing boys isn't going to help your self esteem. The fact that you haven't been kissing/etc. yet is a great thing, in my opinion. It has absolutely zero bearing on how desirable you'll be as a woman in the future.

 

I think you'll see, as you continue to age, that the girls who started sleeping around at an early age usually don't end up going very far in life (obviously there are exceptions, but this has been my observation of the trends amongst my own peer group).

 

My advice would be to focus on your studies, sports, music, art, etc., and enjoying your friends and family. Accomplishments are what build self esteem.

 

Besides, boys that age are just the worst anyways.

[LauraNorth]

Thank you!

[fiftyofsomethin]

I'm 18 and never got further than a (light) peck on the cheek. Woo.

 

You're not alone. I seem to personally have had bad luck with my ex's they weren't the most physically affectionate people.

 

You just need to stay confident and be happy! You are actually really pretty, and that's coming from me, a guy, so use that to your advantage! You can do it! But of course, don't try to rush yourself into anything or force it, that will only make things worse and can cause you serious hurt.

 

Good luck!

[LauraNorth]

Thank you so much! Yeah, I guess some have better luck than others.

[TaraMaiden]

19. I was 19 when I got my first kiss.

 

The problem was, the boy who kissed me, thought that gave him permission to explore the territory further....

 

be choosy.

Be discriminating.

being kissed, means nothing.

 

It's a guy's general attitude and demeanour which will give you so much more, than a kiss ever will...

[hppr]

Hey guys,

 

I'm Laura, I'm 15 and I live probably thousands of miles away for some of you (Europe)

 

I'm feeling a little down lately, because everyone around me is getting boyfriends and kissing and some even got to the next level, but I am just alone. I know I am young, but I start blaming myself for it, as if I'm not pretty enough or if I'm doing something wrong...

 

How do you get guys to like you?? Please help me...

 

Then go out and get a boyfriend.

 

You are surrounded by guys so just start going on dates. That is really all there is to it. Go on dates with pretty much any guy that is nice, friendly, good sense of humor and have a good time. You don't have to kiss them or get sexual (most of the guys your age are in the same situation, no girlfriend, depressed, seems like everybody has a girl except me, never touched a girl before, blah blah blah).

 

As far as being depressed, woe is me, whatever, that's because you're a teenager. When your body and brain start to stabilize around 18-22 years you will feel lots better.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I got my first kiss at 18 so don't worry, all your little friends with boyfriends who are kissing stuff are going to end up pregnant at like 16 lol just go with the flow don't rush.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Then go out and get a boyfriend.

 

You are surrounded by guys so just start going on dates. That is really all there is to it. Go on dates with pretty much any guy that is nice, friendly, good sense of humor and have a good time. You don't have to kiss them or get sexual (most of the guys your age are in the same situation, no girlfriend, depressed, seems like everybody has a girl except me, never touched a girl before, blah blah blah).

 

As far as being depressed, woe is me, whatever, that's because you're a teenager. When your body and brain start to stabilize around 18-22 years you will feel lots better.

 

Well that won't help her lol. Much easier said than done.

 

Seriously, back to Laura, just be yourself and build up some confidence.

 

Guys LOVE confidence. I already said you are a very attractive girl, but slather some confidence on top of that and you won't be able to keep your guys in line!

[hppr]

Well that won't help her lol. Much easier said than done.

 

 

When you are young it is actually very easy if you are open to meeting people. You spend day after day surrounded by people your own age at school and the like so it is no big deal to just 'talk to guys'. If she is really shy her friends who 'all have boyfriends' can certainly help out with that. Go out, be a kid, socialize, the sooner the better.

[Nyla]

Hey guys,

 

I'm Laura, I'm 15 and I live probably thousands of miles away for some of you (Europe)

 

I'm feeling a little down lately, because everyone around me is getting boyfriends and kissing and some even got to the next level, but I am just alone. I know I am young, but I start blaming myself for it, as if I'm not pretty enough or if I'm doing something wrong...

 

How do you get guys to like you?? Please help me...

 

If your avatar is your picture, you are a beautiful young woman.

 

I was a late bloomer too. My parents were very strict, so I did not kiss until I was 17 years old. I know how it feels to be your age and wanting romance. You must understand that love will happen when it is meant to.

 

How do you get guys to like you? Love yourself.

[fiftyofsomethin]

When you are young it is actually very easy if you are open to meeting people. You spend day after day surrounded by people your own age at school and the like so it is no big deal to just 'talk to guys'. If she is really shy her friends who 'all have boyfriends' can certainly help out with that. Go out, be a kid, socialize, the sooner the better.

 

Oh the power of hindsight. It's always 20/20 looking back.

 

Sure. Looking back to Freshman year I could've just gotten up and asked that one girl out. Sure I could've just been the first person to run out on the dance floor at Junior Prom.... It's always easier to say how you could've done something when looking back at it.

 

But in the moment, it feels like your entire future and life rests on your decisions now. It's much harder than you make it seem.

 

But again, Laura, this is not meant to discourage you. (Although I think I did a **** job of it).

 

As Nyla said, you must first LOVE YOURSELF! No one wants to date or be around people who can't respect themselves or be confident in themselves.

 

Like just a couple of hours ago for instance, there was this girl at the movie theater I was at with my buddies who I honestly would not have noticed if she didn't compliment me on my shorts (I wear pastel chino shorts a lot lol) and I started up a conversation because she just... seemed so confident.

 

A girl I never met before, wasn't overly attractive, but I felt compelled to talk to her because she had the confidence to talk to me. Anyways, I got her number.

 

So yeah. Confidence, yo! You got this!

[NordicStripes]

Hi Laura!

 

I live really close to you: in Belgium

I'm a 27 year old woman, but I remember my teenage-years like it was yesterday! It's a bit of an awkward stage in life, and you're trying to find yourself, and what you think is in important in life. Before you know it, those days will be over and you'll wonder where they went

 

But just let me tell you one thing: kissing boys - it's not important AT ALL! It doesn't say anything about you. In fact, I too have noticed that the boys and girls who start really early with these things - especially if it's just for the sake of doing them - really don't get anything out of it. I think doing these intimate things with other people just for the sake of it (no matter your age), could seem a little bit ... cheap.

 

Believe me, boys will respect you so much more just because you don't go around kissing everyone you would get the chance to. And your self-confidence... it'll grow when you see how people respect you, take you seriously!

 

Just enjoy your friends, go out, have fun, study hard an make something of yourself. And everything else will happen when it's supposed to

 

(btw, I was extremely awkward at that age! :-) I have had three relationships in my entire life, all serious ones. I used to think that boys thought there was something wrong with me, but really - as a man explained to me - they were just intimidated. Let me tell you, you are so much better off with a man that's actually worth your time, and who's not just trying to get in your pants! )

[LovelyLife]

. Let me tell you a secret. You don't have to do anything to get someone worth you to "like you". They just will. And in 20 years you will be kissing your husband who has serious morning breath in bed and thinking . . . Kissing is way way over rated. ;)

[Nyla]

When I kiss my husband's stanky morning mouth, my breath stinks too so no biggie.

 

LL, your post made me laugh.

[DannyMason]

You're actually hot. Like, really really hot.

 

Oh, hey, Chris Hanson! What are you doing here? Hang on a minute, I have to finish this post and I'll be over there in a jiff. Wait. Oh my God! I was just trying to be nice! It was just a post on a message boa-

[TheMink]

Hey guys,

 

I'm Laura, I'm 15 and I live probably thousands of miles away for some of you (Europe)

 

I'm feeling a little down lately, because everyone around me is getting boyfriends and kissing and some even got to the next level, but I am just alone. I know I am young, but I start blaming myself for it, as if I'm not pretty enough or if I'm doing something wrong...

 

How do you get guys to like you?? Please help me...

I'll just let you know my story, because I was in a lot worse situation than you are now. By the age of 16 I had never really interacted with a girl my own age since the age of 12. I was shy, introverted and nervous around girls so I had never kissed one. But the first girl that I was introduced to, I fell in love, I started to talk to her, and then we fell for each other. She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, and then we eventually ended up having sex a few months later!

 

I thought that sharing my story would show you that your life can change in a short period of time, and I'm glad that I had to wait so long to kiss someone, because I really loved them and cared for them which made it that more special. But on a side note, she broke up with me about a month ago and broke my heart. More or less for the reasons that people have already stated, and that was becuse I didn't love myself, or have confidence so go about fixing that to make things easier in the future. But I guess the heartbreak was worth the experience.

Edited May 26, 2013 by TheMink

[skydiveaddict]

Hey guys,

 

I'm Laura, I'm 15 and I live probably thousands of miles away for some of you (Europe)

 

I'm feeling a little down lately, because everyone around me is getting boyfriends and kissing and some even got to the next level, but I am just alone.

 

What is the rush? Why so anxious to "get to the next level?" It'll happen for ya. Enjoy being 15.

 

TBH, you're a little too young to even be on this site.

 

Do your parents know you are on here?

 

If they don't, they should.

Edited May 26, 2013 by skydiveaddict

[fiftyofsomethin]

What is the rush? Why so anxious to "get to the next level?" It'll happen for ya. Enjoy being 15.

 

TBH, you're a little too young to even be on this site.

 

Do your parents know you are on here?

 

If they don't, they should.

 

Well that's terribly condescending.

[skydiveaddict]

Well that's terribly condescending.

 

Why? She's a 15 year old child. Just how much latitude do you think she should have without her parent's consent?

Edited May 27, 2013 by skydiveaddict

[Suave]

You are 15, not 25.

 

Plenty of time left before you need to hit the panic button.

[Feelin Frisky]

15 is young to be making out. Just because other are doing it, don't frrl like there's something wrong missing3 year ago you were 12. You're a puppy. (I man than in a nice way.) Sure, sex feels good, but it's paying with fire when you're that age. There's a reason why society put a legal age on it. At 15 you're not even through growing to your adult height. My dummy sister showed no discipline at all. She went, goy laid, loved it, was pregnant at 16. There was no reason with her about proportions and thoughts of latter. Give yourself some growing up time to sort yourself out.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Why? She's a 15 year old child. Just how much latitude do you think she should have without her parent's consent?

 

I suppose you have a different definition of what is a child is than I do.

 

I believe they shouldn't need their parent's consent to be on a website like this even if they are 13 or 14. This could be a quite embarrassing issue to discuss with her parents and this is one place she can get solid advice and find a decent uplifting community. I know I would not have been comfortable asking my parents about this.

 

When it comes down to it, it's her life. She should be able to do what she chooses.

 

EDIT: After reading the replies after this, I realized there is a lot of hindsight advice being given.

 

I'm not sure you guys remember how it feels to be this age and have this problem. I am 18 and I still have similar concerns.

 

It seems like nothing right now to you, but it is EVERYTHING to us right now. Think about it, without taxes, debt, mortgage, and children to worry about, what do we have to be concerned with other than this?

 

I've already given an opinion but in summation: Do what you feel is right, not what you feel you want. Do it for the right reasons, do not do it because it is the cool thing to do, do it because you feel a connection with him. That is all. If you follow that rule, you should avoid a great deal of problems down the line. Good luck!

Edited May 27, 2013 by fiftyofsomethin

[LauraNorth]

Guys guys! I'm not talking about having sex here! I am saying that others have already done this. I am one of the well, sophisticated and wiser girls out there. I'm not going out with every guy I meet.

 

I know my dignity and I know there is an easy way to destroy it, but I know not to. I am aware of the fact that I am young. I do know about money and stuff, because I have my own job and pay everything I want myself. Sure still my mother is taking care of me but I think that some of the reactions are going waaaayy off topic. It is not about being kissed and having sex. It's about me being unsure of myself because others have already been there.

[LauraNorth]

 

You could also just stop having low self esteem. Nothing to worry about it will happen when it happens.

 

Yeah like that is something you just do in one second. It takes time to build confidence. And, where I live, there are no fairs.