think I blew it with the girl of my dreams

[thesandman6]

So I met this girl through some mutual friends at a party about 6 months ago. There was an instant connection between the 2 of us. I'm 27 and have never felt a connection this strong with anyone before and I ended up falling for her harder and faster than I ever have before. At this time I was just finally getting over an ex after a long time that destroyed me emotionally. I became terrified that I was feeling so much for her in such a short time and decided to take everything slow and see how it works progress.

 

After a couple weeks she told me she was bipolar, the previous ex was also diagnosed bipolar at the end of our relationship. There also is some other similarities between them too. I ended up running into the ex a couple days after she told me. It brought back a bunch of stuff I didn't want to remember. All of this became too much for me, I felt like it was going lead down the same road the previous relationship. I decided to just be friends with her and shut emotions off. I now feel like this was the biggest mistake of my life.

 

Over the next 2 months of being friends with her, I realized she is everything I have ever wanted in a partner. She has the same sense of humor, world view, same values, we think alike, her iq is through the roof like mine, and not to mention she is beyond beautiful. During this time she was on a low cycle and it was hard to get her to do anything besides go hang at her place. At this point I realized that I messed up bad and her attraction to me had already faded and I was fairly sure knew what happened with me.

 

Soon she ended up going on a date with this guy who she had known for a long time that does the pick up artist crap and just uses women for sex. He even talked about it to me about it. What's I think is funny is she compared him to me and basically said I'm better than him in every way. I kinda lost it, got depressed, didn't know what to do so I just told her I'm nuts about her, explained what happened, told her I felt like it was the biggest mistake of my life, and I got the expected friends speil. I could tell I had hurt her, have felt horrible because it, and haven't been able to stop beating my self up over it since.

 

A month ago she said her mom wanted her to move of state be closer her, she said she wasn't. The next day she quit her job and flew there. I broke down into tears rushed to her house right before she was leaving when she told me. She said she was coming back. While was there made the decision move. She left 2 weeks ago and said she had to get out of the bad environment she's been stuck in that's holding her back.

 

I fully understand why she moved away, I had realized it before she even said anything about it. I'm absolutely devastated. I wasn't going to give up, and I am not sure how I can. I told her that I'm crazy in love with her, all my feelings, that I keep having thoughts about going after her and would leave everything just for one more chance. She said she never had feelings for me, I know it was a lie. One of her friends is sure of it too and said she tries to hide her true feelings because a lot of people have rejected her.

 

We still have been taking a lot. I miss her so badly. She says she misses me too. Turns out that she had been in love with the douche bag friend for a long time, and realized that he didn't give a **** about her. She was posting about it on Facebook and hasn't said a word about it to me other than she was in a horrible mood. The same night she posted that stuff, she deleted half of it, and posted some picture about finding someone to put her heart back together, she is having a weird day and thoughts, and posted a picture of from when we were out together saying she missed me. It was the first time she told she missed me since moved.

 

Since then she seems to be in a great mood. I keep on thinking that she realized what was right in front of her, but at the same time I might just be looking at it too hard. She's going to be back in town in 2 weeks or so. I can't wait to see her but I don't know what to do.

[Shepp]

I think a big mistake was telling her that you didn't make a move because of her bipolar cause although its the truth its also something that she cant change.

 

Like its nowhere near the same but if s girl said she didn't want owt to happen between us because her ex was claustrophobic and so am I and she couldn't deal with that again (rubbish example, how hard is it to avoid elevators but still) I would automatically get on the defensive.

 

Although saying that she seems to have go over that so id say when shes back in town go for it, pull all the stops out and sweep her off her feet!