A missive about my thoughts concerning sep and divorce

[Simpleoldschool]

as to not be flagged according to this sites TOU IX.

 

I wish to expouse on some tenants of the situation itself.

 

I want to invite others, to contribute in way of their thoughts along to the " personality" this post takes on.

 

here are my thoughts.

 

For site moderators and keeping IAW (in accordance with) this part of the furmn and so that it will not be moved this is particularlly in regard to seperation and divorce.

 

also, so prejudice or hatefull comments are not miscontrued i will use factual data which will be the element of this discussion and everything else suppositional by way of the data provided.

 

UNIETED STATES OF AMERICA MARRIAGE STATISTICS:

Number of marriages: 2,096,000

Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population

Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)

For some time now longwithstanding.

 

The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 percent of men and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives.

A similar statistical exercise was performed in 1975 using marital history data from the Current Population Survey (CPS). Projections based on those data implied that about one-third of married persons who were 25 to 35 years old in 1975 would end their first marriage in divorce.

 

People, who in 1996 were about 45 to 55 years old, had already exceeded these projections as about 40% of men and women in these ages had divorced from their first marriage. Current projections now indicate that the proportion could be as high as 50% for persons now in their early forties."

 

The number of divorced people has more than quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 million in 1996

 

The rise in the divorce and delay in first marriage among adults are two major factors contributing to the growing proportion of children living with one parent…The proportion of children under 18 years living with two parents has declined from 85 percent to 68 percent between 1970 and 1996".

 

Unmarried Couple Households Increase Seven-Fold Since 1970 – "The number of unmarried-couple households (couples of the opposite sex) has grown seven-fold since 1970 – from 523,000 in 1970 to 4 million in 1996…The majority of adults in unmarried-couple households are under 35, and the majority have never been married…By marital status, 57 percent have never been married, 32 percent are divorced, 7 percent are separated or living apart from their spouse for some other reason, and 5 percent are widowed".

 

"Approximately 10 percent of all currently married couples (9 percent of white women and 14 percent of black women) in the United States have separated and reconciled

 

1. In the 1996 national study:
   
   • 50% get remarried within 1st three years of divorce;
     
   • Length of the second marriage was less than 7 years
     

[*]Currently in New Jersey:

• 80% will get remarried within 1st three years;
  
• 75% of these will get divorced within 3 years of that marriage.
  

[*]Ironically according to recent statistics it's women that file for the majority of divorces. (Men on the other hand are likely to "remarry" sooner then women).

 

"Compared with women, men remarry sooner and more often and generally marry someone a few years younger."

Now what conclusions can be drawn simply from this?

 

first women primarily file for divorce more than men. factual datat provided on a non-prejudicial inquiry and based on statistical results of divorce.

 

second men mary more often and sooner.

 

so the equation is such.

 

women divorce - man gets married to another women - if womens first marriage divorce possibility % based on a 1 in three percentile- divorce possibility increases later based on the added years of a marriage in question.

 

without getting too much into the detail and statistics... regardless of how you see them or choose to view them a man will basically always be divorced or suffer a situation where divorce is almost the most likely possibility of any marriage and then add in that you may get divorced near the end of your life my question to all of this is, WHY get married at all? why have a girlfriend why? it seems like it is not cost-relative in investing both emotion and monetary support.

 

then the kids are effected.

 

so men, whats the point.

 

a. either we get tired and leave

 

b. the woman in question will indefinately leave us.

 

whats the point. whats the point of a date? taking a women on a date? anything leading up to a marriage?

 

i am somewhat dismayed upon looking at all of this.

 

what no one seems to understand is, regardless of all marriages and first marriages ending within a 50% ratio, the next year the people who werent divorced generally add to the statistic.

 

why GET MARRIED? any thoughts?

</EM>

[Simpleoldschool]

i beilieve as men we endeavor in an act that will ultimately fail..... we are wasting alot of our happy lives or what could be argued as potentially happy lives throwing cash at wanting to be loved by what seems to be something that is failed within its inception. i beilieve the obvious is true for women aswell.

 

i simply want to know solutions. i am not trying to cause any arguments.

[Simpleoldschool]

also, 6.8 percent of the marriage rate is attributed to people of legal age etc etc. so per 1000 people does not consider since its based per-capita, that all are married out of the 1,000.

[Techie Artist]

Ever since you've joined LS, you've been ranting and verbally abusing people with your opinions. You're free to post as you wish, but eventually people will stop reading your manifestos. No one can get a word in edgewise. Perhaps you need a PERSONAL journal or a hobby or a job.

[Simpleoldschool]

i think the statistic stands in face of itself.

 

i thought it was a womens choice to divorce and be happy about it? now im hearing to the direct opposite i am verbally abusive by pointing out what women choose to do? i am facing a dilemma i hope you can clarify.

[Simpleoldschool]

for further understanding in relation to the OP please explain you definition of verbal abuse.

 

Legally defined it is with the intent to verbally harm by causing symptoms of intentional distress to a degree that is emotional.

 

since my intent wasnt to harm anyone, i find it interesting such a claim has been made.

 

also, this was something based on a statistic so it was abstract from any individual target. i simply explained suppositionary conclusions with factual observances.

 

clarify how me targeting a statistic is verbally abusing a "statistic". something that has no intellectual rights or rights inning of itself. please.

 

Cavaet. talking harshly in accordance with TOU IV i have made no venture to verbally abuse anyone. from their own mouth they have stated an appreiciation towards my advice.

 

;x gotta love them hatters.

 

also this was in the context of statistical data.....LMAO. it exists as a fact. i cant use a fact to verbally abuse since it exists outside the context of a person, having no emotionally context to harm.

Edited May 25, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[Simpleoldschool]

ahhh and yes here it is

 

quote, my intent over abuse claim :i simply want to know (solutions). i am not trying to cause any arguments.

and just for you, i seem to be misunderstanding the comment.

"No one can get a word in edgewise",

 

when i always start of majority of my posts like this

 

" IF I COULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS"

 

or

 

" there is alot of good advice here from other users"

 

now you ALL know why i do this.

Edited May 25, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[Simpleoldschool]

also i think i have given advice both in the direction for men and women.

 

talking about what people DO, has nothing to do with what i've done. Its all about what the have done.

 

Again i would like to invite PEOPLE ( unisex descriptor non-pertaining to one gender) on their thoughts.

 

I never said women are bad. women are evil and all men are great. THEN my comment could be considered DEMEANING. but as much, so far my comment was for all to partake in this circle of thought. did i say im absolutely right and no one can talk and disagree with me because my opinion is perfect?

 

so again, adressing the measure of this post i want to know peoples thoughts on solutions since i have to foot-walk explanations.

 

what DO people Think , is the SOLUTION to the problem BOTH

 

 

men

 

and

 

WOMEN

 

regardless,

 

of who is doing the leaving should surmise as a choice where they are both happy without the DIVORCE OPTION?????????????

 

 

not to be rude but i simply dont understand an emotional overarching approach to my posts. i am indifferent to all of you. i am not indifferent to good advice. since indifferent might hurt feelings i am NEUTRAL.

 

i actually want to know whats going on according to EVERYONE HERE ( opening myself up to the advice of OTHERS) AGAIN, as to a solution.

 

 

if no one understood anything the word is SOLUTION to DIVORCE DILLEMMA.

 

and as a final cavaet, not that it matters i am well OFF to do.

 

and the most humorous thing is i posted that this tradgedy is one for WOMEN ASWELL. let that sink in.

 

and as an EDUCATIONAL PIECE to this, people always want to hear wonderfull things about themselves regardless of what they are doing.the deterioration of marriages, because people dont hold THEMSELVES accountable to it . Long term relationships hold you accountable for your actions if you dont beilieve so you dont have a "relationship". thats called truth. Thank you for your contributions i am understanding why people cant agree. they hear what they BEILIEVE they hear which couldnt be anymore less to the fact because they have a guilty conscience and want to argue it away. No matter what someone says is ok to do, you have a conscience. something that exists within the mind to allow you to understand what your doing is wrong. a conscience is the RAW ability to perceive an action as right or wrong. so no matter what someone tells themselves or another person does, conscience baby. conscience.

 

its funny people cant think normally anymore. common sense seems to be gone. someones always doing something wrong. always abusing always interfearing. this is all so laughable.

 

for my final thoughts i think marriages fail because of unresolved baggage and an inability to solve relatshional problems. i truely dont think people are problem solvers anymore. a problem means hit the road. its broke buy a new one. WTF , REALLY WTF? and hahah just for a laugh.

 

LOL @ TECHIE-ARTIST.

 

i've learned something new. not solving a problem only leads to a repeated mistake. i am so fed up with people wanting to hear lies about themselves like they are the greateast thing since sliced bread. if you are an accountable person you avoid making mistakes. or atleast fix them.

 

for you psych people, you can tell a narcisist fairly easily if they have a problem dealing with this statement. there is nothing speicial about you. a normal minded persons response. ok im average im a person like anybody.

 

narcissist. YOU ARE SO ABUSIVE.

Edited May 25, 2013 by Simpleoldschool