mr.jon Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 okay here is my story. Me and this girl were dating for 2 and a half years with one year being long distance. We talked about being together forever and blah blah blah. We decided we should move in together when she moves back to where I am, but then a few months before it was supposed to happen, we had a really bad visit alot of fighting and weirdness between each other. So smart me I suggest a break to consider if this is the right thing for both of us. We mentioned having a summer of being single and maybe it would be nice etc. So a few days in a say that I don't really want this, we shouldn't move in but I want to be with her. She says no this is a good thing I still love you but i need to try this. Three weeks later she says " I am sleeping with someone else" and have no feelings for you We don't talk for basically two months Fast Forward to the end of summer. [she has now moved back to where I live] I see her on campus and we talk about hanging out and being friends. Two days later we're at my place making out and she's saying how much she misses me and wonders "What happened to us" She says we should take this slow and probably not make out for a while. She says I'll call in a few days. I am all willing to give her the space so I can figure out what the hell is going on. She calls me every day after that and we either hang out, go for lunch, and she says that we should break the No Making out rule the the next time we hang out. So over the next week of her constantly phoning me and telling her friends that she's seeing me again, ahe says she wants to sleep over at my place on saturday. Good sign, so the day before she calls me a 3:00 in the afternoon and says can we go to your place I really want you right now, so being weak willed when it comes to sex I say yes. It's over she says I have to go back home all of a sudden. She's being weird. I phone about our plans the next day and she says I can't do this anymore, I've tried it again and know you are not the one because you want this relationship more than I do and you can't give me the space I need and then writes me a huge letter about how I'm the best guy in the world, and she hopes we will be in each others lives someday, but she can't pretend to be the one who makes me happy when she knows, she is not. ????????????? What the $%#& Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Remember what happened when she told you "no this is a good thing I still love you but i need to try this." Then 3 weeks later she said "I am sleeping with someone else and have no feelings for you." I'm seeing a pattern here.... When someone tells you something like.. It's not you, it's me... what they usually mean is... I've met someone else, sorry. Time to move on. This girl doesn't know what she want's or how she feels. She obviously knows your a good guy, but she also knows she hasn't been upfront with you regarding what is really going on with her. Sorry.... Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Sorry, Merin2, but your advice is horrible: 1) "moving on" doesn't exist, it's an urban legend. Just as any trained and certified psychotherapist... 2) When his girl said she is sleeping with someone else, and "I'm not the one that makes you happy" she is following her feelings - feelings are like children: they just know what they want, they have NO IDEA of how to get it - which is exactly why there are so many miserable @ssh*les in this world. 3) I have heard this from several different people on several different forums and it still makes not sense: "Your ex is your ex for a reason!!!" Ok, have you ever made a mistake before? Of course you have. Yes, your ex is your ex for a reason - and sometime it was the WRONG reason. We all do crazy immature things. We all break up with people and want them back at one point or another. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many songs, movies, and novels about people wanting and pursing their exs to get back together. Stating the above is like saying "we breathe air" - yes, and your point is... If you want her to stop playing this game with you, then stop playing it with her. For instance: have you ever agreed with a crazy person? I have, several times. You know what happens? They are shocked! No one has ever agreed with them before... They start to realize how crazy they are acting. I suggest that you read my advice in the "Advice on reconciliation" thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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