what should I do now?

[butterfly]

i have been dating the same guy for awhile now. He can be very sweet at times, and at other times he doesn't call at all. He has been the same way since we started seeing each other, so I am not expecting to change him. He has mood swings, where one day he is completly happy and then the next day he is a jerk. I care about him a lot, but I can't figure him out. He will be going to a different college next semester, so we won't be seeing very much of each other. He is 22 and I am 20. He wants to go to the bars, and hang out with the guys, so I am stuck being ignored by him. I do go out with my girlfriends but I would like to see more of him. One weekend he will call and call and call, and then the next nothing. Neither of us are seeing anyone else, this I know. How can I talk to him about this without accusing him of being a bad boyfriend? I really want things to work out with him. He says that he loves me, and at times I think that's true. But other times he acts so distant, that I feel like I don't know him at all. Does anyone have any advice on how to bring up this subject to him in a casual way? Or should I just let it go and live with it? Or should I break up with him? Any advice I would appreciate.

[Ed]

You don't have to break up with him or accuse him of being a bad boyfriend to tell him you would like to spend more time together. Since he is going away to another school, you will obviously not be able to spend more time together anyway. I don't see any sense in bringing that subject up now.

 

A more important subject is "How are the two of you going to conduct yourselves while apart?" Now, that could lead to a breakup. One or the other of you is going to have to bring this up, hopefully before he goes. That would not be a good discussion to have on the telephone or in email.

 

It doesn't sound like there is a huge commitment between you now. As you said, it's more of a "we're just not dating other people" instead of "we decided to be exclusive". My suggestion would be to say "You know, (whatever his name is) I haven't been dating anyone other than you for a while and you haven't been dating anyone else either...you're going to another school...what do you think we should do?" But before doing that, you need to be ready to answer that same question. Read your own post again, then answer that question.