What is there left to do?

[BlindRage]

Hi everyone.

 

This is will be a bit long but if you read through it, any advice would be appreciated.

 

So a few years ago I was going through a horrible time in my life. The girl that I had been with for over 2 1/2/ years had just dumped me and I joined this site, which helped, and eventually I met a great new girl. With that girl I was on top of the world. She is an amazing person and very beautiful. We only dated for a month and a half. Things didn't work out unfortunately as she was already taken and loved her partner. Like all good things that come to an end she eventually told me that I should back off and leave her alone. We said our goodbyes to each other and needless to say, I was heartbroken. She was and still is my true love.

 

About a year or so months go on and there hasn't been a day that I don't think about her. Even though I am not a religious person I have prayed and prayed to hear from her, at least just to say hi to her, and this wednesday it came true. My prayers were answered. She logged into a communication network for long distance calling and I saw she was online, and, I sent her a friend request. She accepted it. Though I didn't send her a message straight away. About a day goes on and no word has been exchanged. She breaks the silence by asking if I had called her (Which I had). From then the conversation flows on for a few hours. We have chatted for around three days now and last night we said goodnight then logged off. Every second I have talked to her is better than the last and I haven't taken any of it for granted. I know how lucky I am to have her say hi back. Its an amazing feeling. But, it did seem as if she had lost interest in speaking to me last night.

 

At this point I'm thinking that I should just give her the space she asked of me so long ago. As I finally got my last wish and the only wish I wanted this whole year was to hear from her, I feel that my life is set. I feel satisfied and I have everything I wanted. There is no more to ask for.

 

The advice that I'm looking for now is, how to be motivated to do anything? Everything seems pointless right now. I have what I wanted, theres no more left for me to look forward to. I am satisfied and feel that for that one month and a half of knowing her, I got to experience the ultimate feeling that everyone wants to feel. Now that I felt it, what is there more to look for in life? I'll add on some background details about myself. I'm single and not looking for a partner, have no children (I don't want to have children ever), have no friends (friends exhaust me so I never maintain long term friendships, only a few acquaintances here and there), no motivation for the future, and completely satisfied. If my life ended this second I would not protest it. It would feel right as if that is what was suppose to happen. I have nothing more to look forward to.

 

What is left to do?

[FitChick]

You still have bills to pay. You have to buy food and gas for your car. Work. Volunteer for charities.

 

Join the army if you don't care if you live or die. They want people like you.

[IfiKnewThen]

hi blindrage how r u? Crazy question to ask but i just discovered this post of yours. wow this was written in may 2013. i haven't been on. first of all i just want to say...i remember you. you were very depressed (naturally) about the person you first wrote about and felt the same way about life or actually...worse. and i always admired how you turned that around....and how you made yourself more important than that dark place and lifted yourself out of it and went on to inspire others here.

 

 

tap into that man again. hes still there. i know you can feel limp at times...like what does it all mean, kind of thing. like there's nothing to live for or in this case just look forward to. But as slow as it was in coming the prayer was answered. and life still contains so many possibilities for you. and that's the hope. right there. thats the thing to keep referring to.

 

 

i think u did end up dating a girl after the one you were grieving over, if i remember right lol (forgive me if i am mistaken) and that looked good and i think u broke up with her ...when u found this girl you are referring to now. either way...that in itself was a surprise. maybe it would be good to take a trip somewhere to unearth a better feeling inside your self. something to get you exciting about life again. just get into a take care of blindrage self mode. eat good, sleep good, watch shows that uplift and make u feel better . go to a movie. i know it will be alone but at least u did it. people are there to watch movies anyway..not converse. sounds stupid and simple but treat yourself right. the hope came up again about this girl. maybe it will still work out. maybe not. you can see what happens. but dont wait to live. live while you wait . and bring sunshine with you wherever you go. then God willing and with your active help, maybe someone right for u will pick up on that tone and chemistry will happen again. hopefully this time equal chemistry. i think i said this to you before . in 100 years from now..none of us will be here. so watch how it plays out but get in the game as they say. and make it happen and go on your adventure. take care and God bless you and i think u will get what you want in the end : )