Huge crush on coworker....can't tell if they feel the same??

[confusedlillady]

So been at my current job 8 months. The very first time i met said coworker I liked him, was drawn to him, and i mean in a friend type way. He is dashingly handsome, witty, sweet, attentive and we have a lot of similar interests.He caught my attention immediately.

 

The Key Points/Time Line

 

*In the past few months we've tended to find reasons to go out alone and get "supplies", which turned into coffee, listening to our favorite songs and telling each other details about private lives/childhood........and we always returned way later than we needed,

 

*I catch him sneaking side glances a lot but when I look over he looks away. He compliments me on my outfits often.

 

*He recently returned from a work trip and brought me a surprise. I received a beautiful ring, I didn't open it right away, but texted him later and thanked him/let know it was thoughtful.

 

*A few nights later he asked me to meet him for drinks. i went and we took his car to local bar, and then to more date type place. I'm really interested in him for variety of reasons, but after few beers asked to be dropped back at my own car and said would meet him at another bar. I chickened out and went home but told him I'd hit the town anytime w/him. We had a ton of fun! He replied that "the pleasure was all mine".

 

*After work this week he asked me to go for drinks with few other coworkers and offered to drive me there...... again I took my car. We had a blast and had a few longer than usual eye locks and flirty kicks under the table. I texted him a thanks later, and his response was again..."the pleasure was all mine".

 

*He went away for the weekend and asked him if wanted to hang before he left that night. Which is gutsy for me. He said unfortunately he was leaving in a bit but would love to do something when he came back.

 

*There is of course other incidents, but I figure these are key. He seems to be well liked and gregarious. However, he doesn't seem to waste any time on people or things unless they really interest him. At work he is business minded, which I appreciate. We both do our jobs, for the most part and leave what goes on outside of work/texts etc....where they belong. I'm little hesitant to start anything other than a friendship because i do love my job and don't want any drama there.

 

This all sounds good either way, even if we are just good friends. I've just gotten him so stuck in my head and heart all of a sudden I can't tell if I'm reading too much into his building interest. We are a few years apart and both single, although we have never discussed that point. So what do you think? just friends or is something brewing under the surface? If so, should i go for it? I genuinely care about him.

Thanks for any advice or words of wisdom ahead of time.....never been in this situation!

Edited May 26, 2013 by confusedlillady
too much personal info!

[ShannAT]

In my opinion, I think he's interested in you. I obviously don't know everything, but based on the key facts you've given me, that's what I think. I think it's all a sign, as long as he doesn't act this way towards every female he's friends with. With the side glances, the compliments, always wanting to hang out with you, all seems like he's interested.

 

You definitely have to think about how going for it will affect your job, which is a worry for you. If you do go for it, maybe discuss the issue with work and each other's love lives, express your concerns with him, obviously if the situation goes down that route.

 

Hope I was of some help! Good luck!

[confusedlillady]

That was perfect advice! Part of me feels like the longer I hold off on addressing or doing anything maybe it will go away?

Lately thou, it seems to be reaching a crescendo of sorts. i think both of our jobs are important to ourselves, so we are both keeping it light.

He doesn't interact with other coworkers like this, he is a friendly person, but has been going way out of his way to spend time, check in, and be a generally awesome person.

I'm going to focus on work and if we spend time out of it, I'll see how it goes!

Thank you!!!

[subversive]

I disagree. I feel that if he were interested in more than a friendship, he would have asked you out on a proper date by now. It's been 8 months. I could just be a pessimist, though.

[confusedlillady]

You might be right, but I was friends with my ex-husband of 12 years for 2 before we got together.I don't usually jump into stuff and I was dating someone up until a month or so ago whom he would see me out with. Either way, I am still going to focus on work. If it's meant to be it'll be, if it ain't, I'll get a good friend out of the deal!

[vickvagner]

In a work situation, guys can be a little spooked by harassment and/or messing up a good working relationship.

 

I think he likes you, but is afraid to make a move-- so I think you need to make the first one - most guys love to be on the other end - to have someone plan a date/ask them out for a change -

 

so contact him - and say something like

'hey- you wanna go out with me Friday? I have two tickets to [iNSERT BAND NAME HERE], we could get something to eat before."

 

You've established you're going 'out'-

 

Then do these 3 things-

 

1) when you see him, hug him and kiss him on the cheek.

 

2) when you're eating with him, squeeze his arm/hold his hand at a certain point.

 

3) At the end of the night, if he's still clueless (and guys ARE clueless, especially NICE guys), say "I'd love it if you kissed me" -- WORST case he says "oh man, I'm seeing a girl back home, I'm sorry"