the girl i fancy is now going out with my friend and i'm gutted

[GC_2004]

Hey all,

This may seem kinda weird - i'm 14 and live in scotland. I muck around with mainly 2 people, my friends neil and laura. Now laura has fancied neil for some time but they never went out, and about 6 or 7 weeks ago, i started to fancy laura. I eventually plucked up the courage to tell her on wednesday and i found out today (saturday) that she's going out with my friend. I feel pissed off cause a)i fancied her b) i told her and i feel like. i spoke to her earlier and she said she felt bad. Neil told me earlier and asked me not to say ought to anyone and then i told him. He had kinda guessed.

 

We went round to laura's house with another lassie (gemma) now she didnt know and so they didnt act as if they were going out. Now for all laura said about feeling bad, she didnt look it. I been put down so many times in the past and been ok with it, but i feel much worse. I feel like gods done a big poop on my life and to be honest i'm well and trully gutted about it.

 

I need to know what to do. Should I do the noble thing and distance myself from them so they cant get on with it in peace and i can get rid of these feelings. Or should I try talk to her face to face and explain how i feel about her properly. Maybe i feel worse cause i been down alot latley and i have exams to face up to this year, or its cause maybe i had stronger feelings for laura then any of the other girls who knocked me back? I know this may sound like a silly teenage crush, but i really cut up about it.

[bluechocolate]

Should I do the noble thing and distance myself from them so they cant get on with it in peace and i can get rid of these feelings.

 

That would be the smartest thing to do, honestly. You sound like a good group of friends, who can be honest like that with their feelings. Do you still want to be mates with these folks? Laura can feel bad for you because she probably understands how you're feeling & probably doesn't like to be the cause of those bad feelings, but I imagine she's also happy to be going out with Neil. How do you think she should be acting?

 

Or should I try talk to her face to face and explain how i feel about her properly.

 

I think she knows how you feel. Don't be rubbing salt into your wounds. Besides, if she tells Neil that you've talked to her again about how much you like her he could think you're trying to steal her away from him. Do you want to lose his friendship?

 

Maybe i feel worse cause i been down alot latley and i have exams to face up to this year,

 

I would guess that there is no "maybe" about it. Your exams are more important than any girl right now. Save your time & energy for them. You've got plenty of time for girl trouble.

 

I been put down so many times in the past and been ok with it

 

At 14? You act fast mate!

[GC_2004]

Thanks for the help. I get really angry and i just punched a wall severall times and i feel kinda better. I know i'll feel down for a week or two. Normally i would deal with it through agression that i'd use in rugby but i'm injured for the next couple weeks and so i'll have to deal with it alone. I might feel kinda arkward on thursday as i am in the school gym alone with laura. I dunno how i feel - one on hand, my friends are happy and on the other i'm down in the dumps. When i told neil he said it was fine and i just said that there was nought i could have done about it. As i said, he wasnt sure - and as horrible this sounds - could it even see out the end of the month? Time's a wonderfull healer

[bluechocolate]

I get really angry and i just punched a wall severall times and i feel kinda better.

 

If I have a bad day I always feel better after an hour in the gym or on the rower. But punching a wall?! Ouch! If you can't play rugby try sweating it out some way else - don't be punching walls (or people for that matter) - you'll break your fingers one day!