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I have slept with my brother, how can I save our relationship?


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The story is long and complicated and I don't know where should I start and how detailed should the text be. It's just it is full of my pain and I am so messed up, so it might look not so nicely put. Besides english is not my first language.

I'm 18, my brother is 22 and we are not blood related. I was adopted from Russia as a teenager, but legally we are siblings and were super close. We talked for hours, shared secrets and used to hang out together all the time, like best friends. He took care of me as no other guy ever did. We had lived as a family for a while, but then he moved to another city for college. There, he had a house of his own. When my parents went to France for their vacation, they decided it's best for me not to stay alone, but to live with my brother for those three weeks. I knew he was always in love with me, but I pretended I didn't know it, despite it being so obvious. It's just it would make things a lot more complicated. Don't get me wrong, I love him SO MUCH, but that's different kind of love. He is really amazing, handsome, girls are going crazy over him and he was always there for me, but I still feel awkward about this situation. I promised myself I will never let him suffer or hold out hope or something, but there we go... when I was at his place I got a call from my russian orphanage. They said that my biological mother had died from overdose and that it happened a long time ago and they kept it a secret from me, because they didn't want me to get hurt. I was totally depressed and my brother had comforted me. We hugged, kissed, slept. I had boyfriends. But sex never felt so good with them, with something going on in my stomach. I am not sure about my feelings for my brother now. Maybe I want to try to date him to sort it out for myself, but it seems abnormal. We are not blood related, but lived together for a little less than 10 years and were coming through a lot of stuff together. It can't be forgotten, so I asked my school friend to host me until my parents are back and left his house without saying goodbye. Now I am scared to speak to him, to look at him and I am ignoring his calls. I want to save our relationship, but I don't know how. Please, help. I can't bring myself to pick up the phone, and that texts he is sending... God, I feel like screaming and so guilty.

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First ask the moderators to change the title of your thread. When you say you slept with your brother no body will be reading it. However he is not your biological brother and you got to know him as a teenager. Your adoptive parents should have taken these into account.

 

Don't call him your 'brother' anymore, he is not. I don't know the legal situation prevailing in your country. You shouldn't cheat on your current bf. You can't have both. I recommend you to discuss this without your 'brother' and adoptive parents and consider options available to you.

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MissMoonlight

Talk it out.

 

Honestly, you were just in a low position at the moment that it all happened, and that vulnerability made you aroused to more things.

 

Listen to your heart.

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