From the Ultimate happiness to Unbelievable sadness

[kraytos]

we were friends for 2 years before she decided to finally take a chance. we were 20 at the time me in philly her in bethlehem. we went to school near eachother collegewise. she went to etown for education and i went to thaddeus stevens for graphic design. both 20 mins away form eachother when school was in session. it was great for so long. the romance the friendship the bonding the sex. everything. we were eachothers firsts on that but i was her first EVERYTHING. i was already inlove before that and she fell inlove instantly too.

 

i imagine the attraction was there pretty well as the sex was no lie. im a scoprio she is a pisces. she is from a higher middle class family adopted and basically has decent money. i am from the ghetto originally and was not born with even a quarter of her wealth in a sense i earned everything i have. as time went on she changed slowly over time about a year and a half into our relationship. she was always insecure about her looks and needed approval from her friends also all the time. a bit of a narcissist as i noticed now. i was always chill funny and making her smile and feel amazing but over time i realized it was not enough.

 

i don't react to things unless provoked and when i do i can be harsh. we graduated the same year and we had opposite fates. she went on to work at a teaching position full time and then landed her dream job at her hometown. as for me i had to go back to school because graphics is a dead field now along with printing. so i went to millersville. far enough from her unfortunatly but i had to do it if i wanted to have a shot of making it. we broke up a week into me moving in. so much happened at once that she basicaly said that we were going in diffrent directions. that hurt alot but then began 5 months of horrible pain. she went and dated a guy 3 weeks in to our split. then just went off the deep end with guy attention.

 

i struggled to hold the job i had all semester, my grades took a toll. but then i met someone there and she was great. i had to keep her on hold due to me and my ex talking on and off and just arguing. after being together almost 3 years total its sad that it came to this. i tried to get my ex back a few times but no avail. she strung me along for a while until i said enough. so i dated the new girl at my college. she was 4 years younger but somehow she really kept me happy and she was really amazing. i was also her first. she waited 3 months to date me. as we were dating i thought i was over my ex but as she made a surprise visit after not seeing her 6 months i basically just fell for her instantly again.

 

i broke it off with the new girl not too long before in fear of what might happen. it was the biggest mistake i made. as she progressed in her career i noticed worse changes. she clubbed alot, lied alot, just turned into a bad girl but i was dumb enough to belive that she was still the same girl i feel inlove with. i took her back and while the sex was more amazing than ever before.....the relationship did not last. she met this guy at the club a month after we got back together. and it all went downhill from there. shes broken my trust before so i was paranoid and i was right in the end. she cheated on me with him and i had to find out from him calling me and braggin about it.

 

then confronting her through IM. the last time i saw her she broke my heart and just left with no remorse. said things like i love you but im not inlove with u. just days after she said i want to marry you, i love you, i want to move in finally. it all happened so fast. and as i found out...i lost everything. my financial aid ran out so i had to leave millersville, i could not get the other girl back, i lost money out of it, i got cheated on and dumped by someone that was close to me for 5 years with no remorse. and now im back in the ghetto in philly trying to find a job, starting over in school again, alone since alota bridges got burned at me finding out she cheated. my relationship with her family is dead due to her and my reaction. and it kills me.

 

im strugling with depression and i really dont know how i can pull myself up this time. she is enjoying her life with her unofficial man, over 20,000 saved up from her dad, working a great career living at home debt free and not giving a **** about me at all. we no longer speak. blocked everything vice versa.

 

i treated her so well i was always there for her and i was REAL with her.......why did i run into this and why am i the one with the worst fate compared to her when she did the unthinkable? and how do i even recover....its been over a month since we split.help?

Edited June 4, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Added Paragraphs- Use them please

[LeGenDary_Man]

Your career should be your top priority; not women. You need to settle-down in your life first and worry about the women later.

 

In addition, you sound too immature for having a relationship at this stage; you are dangerously infatuated with your (toxic) first crush. You ruined your chances with your second girlfriend due to your foolishness. Grow some balls and move on.

 

Have a good look in the mirror and then set your priorities straight.

[drifter777]

There is no "why". Life is difficult and you have to learn to roll with the punches. Part of that is learning lessons so you don't go back and get punched by the same person again. Wake up! End any romantic relationship you might still have with her and focus on being a good father to you kids. Go out and find other women to hook up with and enjoy being single until you find the right girl.