irc333 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I've spoken with quite a few single mothers lately, and they said, they stopped dating altogether when they had young children...and didn't start back up dating until they reached 18 or an age where they didn't need as much supervision anymore. THink this is a better idea? Reason being is because young children take up so much time, that it's not even worth dating during that phase in their lives? yes? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cheeeesecake Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Extreme is right! I'm a single mother but I'm not prepared to put my life on hold for the next 9 years. Yes, I am a parent but I am also a woman and a human being and being a mother isn't all I'm about!! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 That sounds like a terrible idea...they'd have practically waited themselves out of the market by then... Link to post Share on other sites
Luckydad Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 If more people actually did wait until their kids were older/grown up to start dating/seeing people, the world would probably be a much better place. Instead, our children learn how to be selfish. When I was first separated almost 5 years ago, my ex promptly mover her BF into the house that I was still paying the mortgage on. 9 months later, he's gone and my ex and kids are moving into another place. 5 months later and common law #2 moves in. Preceding this, there are a number of weeknight sleepovers at his place, with my kids calling me to say they cant get ahold of their mom (while I'm out of town working and can't really do much about it.) 2 years later and Common law BF #2 is history. This after repeated complaints from my daughter about not only him and his demeaning verbal abuse but also of his 29 yr old unemployed "long lost" son who somehow ended up living there rent free for months. I can not tell you how my ex's dating/relationships post divorce has negatively affected my kids. I made the mistake of dating for about a year after being separated, but eventually figured out what my priorities should be and resolved to forgo dating or anything similar until they are both 18. The result has been a much closer relationship with my kids, through demonstrating to them that they will always come first. They know that they can always count on me to be there for them, and that I bring no outside influences into our relationship that may have any kind of an impact on them whatsoever. Stability and security are important to kids, even when they are older teenagers. I know there are a lot of people who are going to disagree with me, but I've seen a number of divorced/separated parents go down the same road my ex has and I've seen a lot of screwed up kids as a result. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I don't think one has to swear off dating, but I do think being extremely wise and cautious is important and realizing you're not just dating for yourself, but essentially for your kids too, if they are under 18. There are some single moms, like a friend of mine, (who honestly shouldn't have had a child right now, but slipped up and did) who are more focused on dating and meeting men in the same way a single woman is, to the potential detriment of their child. My friend for example, will get asked out on last minute dates at 9pm, and instead of saying she can't go, she wakes her baby up and packs her up and takes her on the date. WTF?! In her case, I don't think she was good at dating while single and childless, so it makes it even worse that she is continuing her shenanigans and implicating the baby in it...and as she gets older, I can only imagine. I hope for her sake she does settle down before her daughter is older. Nothing is wrong with dating for single moms if they make their child the priority and don't entangle their kids with temporary men or throw all plans away to meet up with a man etc. With everything there are concessions to be made. As a mom, you no longer have the luxury of coming and going as you please with a man, staying out on overnights on a whim, bringing a man home for a "night cap" etc. and I think as long as dating parents (men and women) act accordingly, it's fine. The problem is when they still attempt to date as they would when single. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 There are some people who don't mind dating single parents. FYI...lol Link to post Share on other sites
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