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Consolidated discussion - In dating/relationships, my gender has a much harder time

bking

By bking,
in General Relationship Discussion

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Weezy1973

Weezy1973

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In my country approximately 80% of men are in relationships with more than 50% being married. It's hardly a struggle. Your friends seem to struggle in large numbers, but statistically at least, they are clearly the exception to the rule.

 

I, on the other hand, don't know any single men at the moment. All are either married or in relationships.

 

OP, if you're struggling with dating, it's not due to some imbalance in the dating world that you've made up in your head. It's something else. I don't know what that is, but once you figure it out, and work on it, you dating prospects will likely improve...

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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You see it over and over on this site

 

Join date: January 2015 :confused:

 

 

I meant to say sites like this

 

 

I post on a couple other dating forums and see the same thing constantly posted there too. I saw another thread about a 33 old woman who was a FWB/"side piece" with a 28 year old guy with a girlfriend and 2 kids. She would rather be a side piece/sex toy to a cheater than actually go out with a normal guy

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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Turn yourself into a top 5% guy...

 

 

Well, you can certainly try, just like you can try to get that 100% on every test but some tests, you may only get a measly 85%

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JuneJulySeptember

JuneJulySeptember

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BTW, I would say a lot of it is also luck of the draw.

 

You could be off in college, meet a girl at a class or a club, become friends, and eventually start dating. You could marry that girl and never have to deal with the horrors that are the dating game.

 

I will admit this is true because I have seen pretty nerdy guys who barely take care of their physical appearance get women like this.

 

Or the same guy could be unlucky and not meet that woman and go through dozens of women rejecting him because they just don't fancy him.

 

Being a guy, it's kind of like catching a bus that runs on irregular schedules. If you are real lucky, you get there just as your bus is leaving. If you just miss it, you may have to wait a long time and for many other buses to pass, before yours comes along again. :eek:

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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Wah, wah wah. It's never your fault. These statistics are made up.

 

 

Among my 20 closest single friends, I would say a few guys have a ton of dating options while most of them struggle by and large. Many are normal guys (above average in many ways) who really have no options at all

 

 

The female equivalent of that really doesn't exist. Every female who is not morbidly obese or hideous has tons of dating options

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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BTW, I would say a lot of it is also luck of the draw.

 

You could be off in college, meet a girl at a class or a club, become friends, and eventually start dating. You could marry that girl and never have to deal with the horrors that are the dating game.

 

I will admit this is true because I have seen pretty nerdy guys who barely take care of their physical appearance get women like this.

 

Or the same guy could be unlucky and not meet that woman and go through dozens of women rejecting him because they just don't fancy him.

 

Being a guy, it's kind of like catching a bus that runs on irregular schedules. If you are real lucky, you get there just as your bus is leaving. If you just miss it, you may have to wait a long time and for many other buses to pass, before yours comes along again. :eek:

 

 

I do kind of agree with this. There are couples that defy all sorts of logic

 

Then again, that guy better hope to hold on for dear life. If they break up, it may take him 9 years (or a lifetime) before he finds anybody else. The girl will have 5 dates the next afternoon

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CALOVELY

CALOVELY

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I've been involuntarily single for 9 years now myself and I know a dozen or more guys like that - most not as extreme as I am but many have been single for 3 or 4 years. All of us are pretty decent looking, intelligent, friendly and have very reasonable standards

 

The female equivalent of this doesn't exist. The only women involuntarily single are either a terrible catch or shooting for guys way way out of their league. This is because, for a man to be considered attractive, he's gotta satisfy a million dating requirements. Women just mainly have to be decent looking, not overweight and not crazy, all very easy.

 

And btw when I say top 5%, I'm talking more about things like ability to meet women in day to day life, skills with women, etc... I personally am in the top 5-20% in things like income, looks, college degree, quality of life style and friends, etc... but that doesn't even matter. There is a million more dating requirements that I have to qualify for in order for women to find me attractive and I always fail somewhere along the line

 

And you say everyone is out for the best they can get but that's a heavily female trait to me. Most guys are way more in tune with what is reasonable in dating. I would be absolutely thrilled personally to date the female equivalent of myself.

 

What is it you are asking here? Why women are not lining up to date you? Nowhere in your post did you say anything about your personality, your values or your heart. It was about how much you make, your looks, education and life style. Women today have all of that too. What do you have to offer her? That is the question you need to answer for yourself.

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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Nowhere in your post did you say anything about your personality, your values or your heart

 

 

Yea that's very important in dating

 

 

That's why you see thread after thread after thread after thread of women on sites like this talking about how horrendously they're treated by their boyfriend/FWB that they CONTINUE to see. Half the stuff I see posted on this site done by these men, I wouldn't even treat a prostitute like that. It's just absolutely atrocious.

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

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Weezy1973

Weezy1973

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Yea that's very important in dating

 

 

That's why you see thread after thread after thread after thread of women on sites like this talking about how awful they're treated by their boyfriend/FWB that they CONTINUE to see

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

People mostly come on here when they're having problems with relationships and dating. Like you, for example.

 

Those that are in quality relationships are way less likely to be posting. And you'd probably ignore those posts anyways due to confirmation bias...

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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People mostly come on here when they're having problems with relationships and dating. Like you, for example.

 

Those that are in quality relationships are way less likely to be posting. And you'd probably ignore those posts anyways due to confirmation bias...

 

 

I just think it's hilariously laughable to claim that having a good heart is what women look for nowadays. Charles Manson, the 80 year old sociopath serving a life sentence in jail just got married to a decent looking 26 year old.

 

 

BTW, my values and character are impossibly impeccable. I would go to the gates of hell for any of my loved ones. I take tremendous pride in treating people the right way so that's never been a concern but none of that stuff matters anyhow.

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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and perhaps I should have posted this thread in psychology or social studies section somewhere

 

 

I'm not trying to get advice for my dating struggles or anything like that. I'm just curious about why our society is like this. Maybe somebody can shed some light on it

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CALOVELY

CALOVELY

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Yea that's very important in dating

 

 

That's why you see thread after thread after thread after thread of women on sites like this talking about how awful they're treated by their boyfriend/FWB that they CONTINUE to see

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

So your beliefs come from reading a few posts on a relationship board and from that you glean that women love awful men who treat them badly? That is a pretty small sample size that you are attributing the actions of an entire gender to.

 

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Lernaean_Hydra

Lernaean_Hydra

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and perhaps I should have posted this thread in psychology or social studies section somewhere

 

I'm not trying to get advice for my dating struggles or anything like that. I'm just curious about why our society is like this. Maybe somebody can shed some light on it

 

The problem is, society isn't "like this". Your worldview is very myopic and you gather your information from places where people go to discuss their issues and failures, not their successes .

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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The problem is, society isn't "like this". Your worldview is very myopic and you gather your information from places where people go to discuss their issues and failures, not their successes .

 

Among my 20 closest single friends, I would say a few guys have a ton of dating options while most of them struggle by and large. Many are normal guys (above average in many ways) who really have no options at all.

 

 

The female equivalent of that really doesn't exist. Every female who is not morbidly obese or hideous has tons of dating options

 

............................

 

I've read that top the 20% of men get 80% of women. Honestly, I think it's more like top 5% of men get all the women

 

I used to know a guy in California - a 53 year old married/separated guy who used to have tons and tons of flings with women in their late 20s and 30s, whom he had absolutely no interest in anything long term. All these attractive women in the prime of their life would rather try to fight with 9 other women for the affection of a 50+ year old guy who treated them like crap where there was absolutely zero future there. Just absolutely mind blowing

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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So your beliefs come from reading a few posts on a relationship board and from that you glean that women love awful men who treat them badly? That is a pretty small sample size that you are attributing the actions of an entire gender to.

 

 

 

http://www.people.com/article/charles-manson-gets-marriage-license-prison

 

 

An 80 year old convicted murder/maniac serving a life sentence in prison with a better looking girlfriend/wife than any woman who has ever been interested in me...and I've had several people say I'm one of the best guys they've ever known.

 

 

Tell me again how important it is to have a good heart in dating

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guest569

guest569

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For women, pretty much every girl who is decent looking and not obese has plenty of dating options at all times

 

 

Not true. The end.

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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Not true. The end.

 

 

she absolutely does and most of them are normal men

 

 

Whether or not they satisfy the 5000 dating requirements that all women have is another question but they're still options

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CALOVELY

CALOVELY

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Charles Manson Obtains License to Marry His 26-Year-Old Prison Visitor - Crime & Courts, True Crime, Charles Manson : People.com

 

 

An 80 year old convicted murder/maniac serving a life sentence in prison with a better looking girlfriend/wife than any woman who has ever been interested in me...and I've had several people say I'm one of the best guys they've ever known.

 

 

Tell me again how important it is to have a good heart in dating

 

You think Charles Manson and the woman he attracted is indicative of relationships as a whole? That because he has a wife that means all women or even most women would want to marry a mass murderer?

 

I am beginning to suspect your post was not made with authenticity and just an opportunity to chum the waters for other like minded individuals. Have a good evening.

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guest569

guest569

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The female equivalent of that really doesn't exist. Every female who is not morbidly obese or hideous has tons of dating options

 

This is just plain insulting to all women who have struggled with dating, either fat ones or beautiful ones. We have all been there.

 

It seems like a lot of these single whiney guys hate women, and we can sense that from a mile away.

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guest569

guest569

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she absolutely does and most of them are normal men

 

 

Whether or not they satisfy the 5000 dating requirements that all women have is another question but they're still options

 

Here are my requirements: attractive, kind hearted, has job, interests me, we get along. Wow! I'm so fussy expecting to find a man who I am vaguely interested in.

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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You think Charles Manson and the woman he attracted is indicative of relationships as a whole? That because he has a wife that means all women or even most women would want to marry a mass murderer?

 

You're seriously asking this question? Of course the answer is no. I was just posting one of a trillion examples of men with atrocious character dating women far better than themselves

 

 

Anyways I have all the superficial stuff that people look for and excellent character/heart/personality but there's a bunch of things that I lack beyond that which keeps me forever single, but that's okay. All women have a laundry list of dating requirements that's long enough to fill 9 books. All I can do is be the best version of myself

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SoundofPerseverence

SoundofPerseverence

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Here are my requirements: attractive, kind hearted, has job, interests me, we get along. Wow! I'm so fussy expecting to find a man who I am vaguely interested in.

 

 

Those are normal requirements all people have, nothing unreasonable there

 

 

But let's be honest here, there's another 5000 things that you're looking for that you didn't post there. Why even attempt to lie about it?

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