Consolidated discussion - In dating/relationships, my gender has a much harder time

[Glinda.Good]

But also, this is what you SAY. It's impossible for us to know what you actually DO (keep this phrase in mind, inexperienced guys).

 

Many of us are able to have these leaps of faith where we feel comfortable with listening to and believing what others are telling us.

 

I guess you are just a very fearful person, if this is not a part of your life.

 

It must be difficult to live like that. I can't even imagine. I feel bad for you.

[kolleamm]

Yes men are picky but so are women. However I believe this pickyness is not all bad. It keeps us going back to the gym and it also prevents people from ruining their kids genetics.

 

Anyways, the whole women having it harder than men arguement is just not valid in the bigger picture of things. Both sides have it equally hard.

 

Men must - approach, bulk up, be tall, pay for dates, be confident

 

Women must - wait, lose weight, eat the food we pay for, not do a thing, put makeup on, watch 90210, get fat, take our paycheck, get fat

 

Actually never mind men have it much harder!

[CrystalCastles]

I know enough women.

 

But also, this is what you SAY. It's impossible for us to know what you actually DO (keep this phrase in mind, inexperienced guys).

 

Yes but you don't know all of them. Enough women...what is that, three?

 

And your second sentence sounds like something from a male-version of Cosmo, if such a thing would exist. If you want to know what I do, you open your eyes real wide and observe.

 

And truly. I don't find that criminal douchecanoe attractive whatsoever. OTOH, the guy in my avvie, Javier Bardem, is a very attractive dude. He's not ripped. He's not tattoed. And yet he is way hotter than the goofy-looking fool you're talking about could ever be.

[ascendotum]

Western men have a lot more options, especially as they get older. Older men can more easily replace their aging partners with young women, and that's not even considering the easy availability of swingers' clubs, strippers, and hookers. And there's really no such thing as mail-order husbands. All a guy has to do is buy a desperate kid from a developing country if he's really that lonely. Chances are she's been raised to cater to his every whim with a smile.

 

Come on now plenty of milfs & cougars are banging younger guys. I saw some of my gfs flings...hey where's my sexy young air hostess. Reality is many of your top notch men will remarry younger child free women, but majority of guys wont, as they are competing with the many younger guys for the same women.

 

Swingers clubs...lol. turn up at the door as single guy and you'll get turned away or you'll pay a fee and be ignored by all the couples unless you a body builder physique or flash a huge cock. Turn up as a single woman and you'll be welcome with open arms for free. Yes men have strippers and hookers, women have strippers and gigolos & male escorts. there is less of them, only because the demand is not there, because women (vast majority) can get plenty of action easy. As for overseas brides,it doesn't happen all that often, there is a bit of stigma from local women over it, and guys take the risk of get ripped off by middle men and women looking for citizenship only who can also collect a cash divorce payout after qualifying to start their new first world life.

[man_in_the_box]

Dating is exactly as hard as you want it to be.

[Andy_K]

On the 'not sure if you can approach' thing.

 

I wouldn't mind betting that even if you take into account that some guys don't like it, you will STILL have a higher success rate approaching than a guy will. So you can hardly count that as a negative.

[Anela]

 

Of course, finding your impossible perfect man when you've set your standards above what 99% of human beings are capable of -- now that's difficult.

 

Where did she say anything about what she wants?

 

Now now, lets be logical.

 

Those 12% of men are having sex with all the woman. Sure that means that most of those guys now are having 20+ kids, but the human race still goes on.

 

The rest of the 88% of men are angry virgins.

 

When do the 12% sleep? Or are they constantly in rotation?

 

When did we come up with a new magical number of 12%? I thought it was 20%.

[guest569]

Women spend between 2 and 4 hours getting ready for a first date. Men just shower and put on clean clothes. 10 mins max. Come on!

[guest569]

This is the major difference between guys and girls. Guys have different tastes.

 

How infuriating. You think women all have the same taste?? What?

[ascendotum]

Women spend between 2 and 4 hours getting ready for a first date. Men just shower and put on clean clothes. 10 mins max. Come on!

 

4 hrs. lol. She is undergoing a major deception then.

...and she doesn't have to do it. Guys don't demand it, but do prefer a bit of effort. Its motre to compete with/outdo the other girls who spend over an hour in the bathroom.

[Emilia]

Am I right?

I think you are right if you want children - which is something that most women want. You have to be 'right' for the guy to pick you as a mother of his children, at the same time you have to be able to gauge whether he is someone you want to commit to and build a family with. Whether he will last the distance.

 

If you don't want kids, your life becomes much easier. The worry about getting married by a certain age, being vulnerable to men's whims about marrying you and all that goes out of the window. The whole dating thing loses its significance because then you are just an independent human being who will either find a life-long partner or she won't. If not, she will be still able to get sex on a regular basis if she wants to.

 

It's all about wanting that life long commitment with someone. That is very tough indeed and men probably heavy it easier in that case because they aren't in a rush and even if they want children, their identity isn't defined by it so strongly.

[iiiii]

It's generally easier for girls than guys to find someone to have sex with.

 

It's hard for both genders to find someone who they are really into, who is really into them, to date.

[Emilia]

That's not what I see much of these days. Anymore, I see women picking a guy based on chemistry alone, she gets knocked up, and the guy leaves. That's the typical single mom, douchebag baby daddy story I see these days. A girl I became acquainted with in school even told me her baby daddy had a really big penis, so she tried to hang on to him by having two kids. It didn't work.

It does indeed depend on your social circles. What you are describing is fairly typical of the less educated, not something I have much experience of.

[Emilia]

The area around here isn't the best for finding a good relationship. Almost every single mom I have met was like what I described. Most of the baby daddys don't pay child support, and many of them are in and out of jail. I even know a guy around here who has 8 kids by 6 different women, and has another knocked up. 2 failed marriages to his credit too.

I don't know the US well but I'd imagine you live in a blue collar area. The difference from that living in London is that blue and white collar areas are side by side. If you are an immigrant like me, you can move freely in British society because you aren't tied down by their conventions. In my experience, being an outsider has a lot of benefits, especially for a woman.

[USMCHokie]

This is not a weight loss thread..

 

Indeed. That's why I Kristen Stewart.

[Priv]

The good majority of women I dated couldn't cook for sh*t. That belief that women cook and clean is becoming wildly antiquated...

 

I'd love myself a woman who doesn't cook and clean. We would probably starve to death in a pig sty but at least we would be happy together being on equal footing

[Imajerk17]

I'm a guy and I think dating is easy.

 

I get to choose the women I want to approach. And oftentimes she will say yes. Even if she is more attractive than I am. Its a sweet set-up.

[Revolver]

My dude said his GF messed up spaghetti lol

[Kamille]

Men only want to date bitches. There's even a book that states this. They only want to date crazy demanding women, as long as she's stick thin with big boobs. It's not fair to the rest of us, who are nice ladies who won't put out on the first date. We're really at a disadvantage.

[Imported]

Men only want to date bitches. There's even a book that states this. They only want to date crazy demanding women, as long as she's stick thin with big boobs. It's not fair to the rest of us, who are nice ladies who won't put out on the first date. We're really at a disadvantage.

 

Better start putting out on the first date. Lose some weight (diet, workout, liposuction), get a boob job (don't go cartoon big please). Learn how to give really good blowjobs (practice on a dildo, not a bunch of other dudes). And learn how to cook and clean!!!! There is even a book that states how to do all thise.

 

Glad I was able to set you on the proper path. Good luck!

[Kamille]

Better start putting out on the first date. Lose some weight (diet, workout, liposuction), get a boob job (don't go cartoon big please). Learn how to give really good blowjobs (practice on a dildo, not a bunch of other dudes). And learn how to cook and clean!!!! There is even a book that states how to do all thise.

 

Glad I was able to set you on the proper path. Good luck!

 

Men only truly desire 12% of all women. The rest of women are automatically P&D-zoned. We're good for a shag but nothing else. Men don't care that we respect them, want to treat them nice, cook them meals, care for them. No, they fall only for the women who mistreat them, will cheat on them, will throw tantrums in public, will make them jealous. It's in men's DNA to do this. They're territorial and power-driven, so landing a girl in the 12% makes them feel powerful.

[Keenly]

Men only truly desire 12% of all women. The rest of women are automatically P&D-zoned. We're good for a shag but nothing else. Men don't care that we respect them, want to treat them nice, cook them meals, care for them. No, they fall only for the women who mistreat them, will cheat on them, will throw tantrums in public, will make them jealous. It's in men's DNA to do this. They're territorial and power-driven, so landing a girl in the 12% makes them feel powerful.

 

 

No. Just no.

[joystickd]

Men only truly desire 12% of all women. The rest of women are automatically P&D-zoned. We're good for a shag but nothing else. Men don't care that we respect them, want to treat them nice, cook them meals, care for them. No, they fall only for the women who mistreat them, will cheat on them, will throw tantrums in public, will make them jealous. It's in men's DNA to do this. They're territorial and power-driven, so landing a girl in the 12% makes them feel powerful.

 

It's no different than women. We all act according to how we feel about the person. Some women become pumps and dumps but those same women will meet a guy that will want a relationship just like men that are friend zoned will meet a woman that wants a relationship with them. We all dont feel like wanting a relationship with someone. It's not some percentages either. Numbers only worsen your own situation. How do you often feel about guys that are interested in you? Do you want a relationship with everyone of them?

[sillyanswer]

It's not fair to the rest of us, who are nice ladies who won't put out on the first date.

 

With a woman I recently dated I didn't even try to kiss her until the 3rd date. I must be off my game. I'd better go and check to see if she's in the top 12% or not. What measurements do I need to look for?

[joystickd]

. It's not fair to the rest of us, who are nice ladies who won't put out on the first date. We're really at a disadvantage.

 

You shouldn't talk to men about this. You need the check your own gender about this issue. Women choose to give it up the first date so how about addressing that issue with women first.