Consolidated discussion - In dating/relationships, my gender has a much harder time

[MidwestUSA]

With a woman I recently dated I didn't even try to kiss her until the 3rd date. I must be off my game. I'd better go and check to see if she's in the top 12% or not. What measurements do I need to look for?

 

Well, you'll have to measure around the rib age, just under the bust. This is your band size. Then measure around the breasts at the nipple, keeping the tape measure parallel with the ground. Now you do something with the difference of those two numbers. Maybe plug them into a formula online? I'm a 36A or a 32DD; I just searched until I found the formula that gave me the most 'voluptuous' number.

 

 

Does this help? Or am I in the wrong thread?

[Gaeta]

Mathematically you are wrong.

 

For every woman with a FWB there is also a man with a FWB, a woman doesn't do FWB by herself. Therefore there are as many men having sex than women.

[Kamille]

You shouldn't talk to men about this. You need the check your own gender about this issue. Women choose to give it up the first date so how about addressing that issue with women first.

 

Yes. We women need to rebel in order to teach men a lesson.

[sillyanswer]

Well, you'll have to measure around the rib age, just under the bust. This is your band size. Then measure around the breasts at the nipple, keeping the tape measure parallel with the ground.

 

I'm not sure that she'll let me get hands-on yet. I might just have to, erm, eyeball the situation.

[MidwestUSA]

I'm not sure that she'll let me get hands-on yet. I might just have to, erm, eyeball the situation.

 

'Eyeballing' won't help when you get to the confusing 'sister sizes' stuff. Hands on is required for volume measurement.

[sillyanswer]

'Eyeballing' won't help when you get to the confusing 'sister sizes' stuff.

 

This is all so complicated. More evidence, if any more was needed, that it's men who have it harder in dating.

 

Hands on is required for volume measurement.

 

I look forward to the opportunity.

[Glinda.Good]

Mathematically you are wrong.

 

For every woman with a FWB there is also a man with a FWB, a woman doesn't do FWB by herself. Therefore there are as many men having sex than women.

 

I don't think that is correct. According to this special wisdom, the 12% or 20% or whatever are all banging multiple women. Even if they're married, I believe. So they still have all the women that exist.

[joystickd]

Yes. We women need to rebel in order to teach men a lesson.

 

Not rebel you talk to them about it. No man can have sex unless a woman gives it up. Can't look at men as problem of women are giving it up so there is no use to rebel.

[somedude81]

Mathematically you are wrong.

 

For every woman with a FWB there is also a man with a FWB, a woman doesn't do FWB by herself. Therefore there are as many men having sex than women.

 

What happens when a guy has several FWB's but each of those women is only seeing him?

[sillyanswer]

I don't think that is correct. According to this special wisdom, the 12% or 20% or whatever are all banging multiple women. Even if they're married, I believe. So they still have all the women that exist.

 

All at the same time, too!

 

(Which, when you think about it, is yet more evidence that it's harder for men. All those names to keep straight, for starters.)

[Anela]

What happens when a guy has several FWB's but each of those women is only seeing him?

 

This is where you get to blame your own gender: for listening to PUA's, and not only being selfish towards the women he's sleeping with, but any man out there who would want to date those women.

[Keenly]

The facts are already in, the debate is over people.

 

We finally know who has the most difficult time in dating.

 

 

Honest , genuine, loyal people with integrity, a big heart, and the desire to share mutual love.

 

 

 

Those are the people that have the most difficult time.

[Anela]

If only life were so simple. I have 2 types of single guy friends. The ones who almost never get laid, and the ones who are sleeping with multiple women at a time.

 

 

 

Why should we blame the guys who are getting laid? If those girls fall for his tired old schtick, I wouldn't want them anyway

 

Just the response I was expecting. Don't expect anything from your fellow men, blame the women.

[somedude81]

Actually, I don't like guys that much. I hate guys that are players.

 

One guy actually said that he tries to get women to have sex with him ASAP and if a girl does have sex with him "too soon" he loses respect for her. That really pissed me off.

 

Long story short, I can't stand players, and the girls who fall for their BS.

[hotpotato]

I agree with "quasi" single. To me There's a difference between someone wanting to be single but can get a relationship anytime they want and someone who is forced into being single because no one wants them. Women who say they're single tend to fall into the 1st category and men who are single tend to fall into the second

 

If im single because I wouldnt date a 70 year old man, does that make me quasi single?

[Keenly]

Just the response I was expecting. Don't expect anything from your fellow men, blame the women.

 

 

 

Pot kettle.

[Anela]

Pot kettle.

 

Nope. I've disagreed with women's behaviour before.

[Woggle]

Just the response I was expecting. Don't expect anything from your fellow men, blame the women.

 

I blame both and neither one would make a good partner. A player wouldn't for obvious reasons and women that chase after players tend not to be good relationship partners. 9 times out of 10 put an honest and genuine man in front of them and they run. The same goes for men who chase after crazy women.

[Anela]

I blame both and neither one would make a good partner. A player wouldn't for obvious reasons and women that chase after players tend not to be good relationship partners. 9 times out of 10 put an honest and genuine man in front of them and they run. The same goes for men who chase after crazy women.

 

Or we could blame none of them, since they're all doing what they want to do. They want sex, they're having sex.

[ascendotum]

With a woman I recently dated I didn't even try to kiss her until the 3rd date. I must be off my game. I'd better go and check to see if she's in the top 12% or not. What measurements do I need to look for?

 

Skinny with big boobs and long blonde hair and a bit of bytch attitude.

[ascendotum]

Mathematically you are wrong.

 

For every woman with a FWB there is also a man with a FWB, a woman doesn't do FWB by herself. Therefore there are as many men having sex than women.

 

Off the top of my head I know 10 guys now who have 2-3 (with one bodybuilder its 4) FWBs. In many of the cases the women totally know he has others, and some of the others should assume it give the haphazard nature of the visits they get. The successful OLD guys I know are juggling more than one women (like you see in posts from a couple of guys on the OLD thread from a few days ago), and a few I know still have former online flings that they have broken up with still stay on as booty calls (the amazing chemistry or he was great in bed). Even guys with just 1 fwb are often doing ons. (I know their fwb could also being doing the same, but I think its less often due to the nature of testosterone)

At the companies I've worked at there were often women who were the OW for co-workers or someone outside the coy but more so the married senior mgrs. Lots of women complain about getting involved with men on OLD who are married or already have a gf (yeah I know not a good indictment of men)

 

I'm not saying its rampant or a major imbalance, but the nsa distribution between M & F is definitely less equally distributed then women like to claim. Isn't there an OKC survey that showed women thought 70% of men on OLD were unattractive. Most are going for the other 30%. Of course that 30% will end up in LTRs with 30% of women, but in the meantime until then they are dating (and sleeping with) a bigger % of the pie.

[SoundofPerseverence]

For women, pretty much every girl who is decent looking and not obese has plenty of dating options at all times

 

For men, you have a very small percentage of men who have tons and tons of dating options while most men find dating to be very very frustrating. The overwhelming majority of guys are lucky to find a relationship every 4 or 5 years

 

You see it over and over on this site. All these threads of women dating men who are players and jerks who are cheating on them or cheating on their gf with them. Why do so many women prefer to share a player than actually have a relationship with a guy who respects them?

 

Is it just women's natural inclination to constantly look for the most desirable man she can get her hands on? Many women seemingly would rather be a side toy for a top 5% guy than be in a relationship with a man her equal

[ascendotum]

The overwhelming majority of guys are lucky to find a relationship every 4 or 5 years.

Rubbish. For a subset of men yes, but the majority (>50%) that is absolutely not the case. Are the majority of your friends & other guys in your social circles, wandering the dating wasteland single for years? I doubt it very much. Maybe 5-15% maybe.

 

You see it over and over on this site. All these threads of women dating men who are players and jerks who are cheating on them or cheating on their gf with them.

Yes imo a big % of women sleep with these guys between relationships but most are not going to get a serious relationship out of them. The hookup scene is different from the relationship scene. As for guy's tales of woe on LS, they are not representative of the wider community of men. Generally only people who are having trouble with dating/relationships are going to end up on here. If things are going well in life for a guy he wont be on this site.

 

Is it just women's natural inclination to constantly look for the most desirable man she can get her hands on? Many women seemingly would rather be a side toy for a top 5% guy than be in a relationship with a man her equal

Everybody is out for the best they can get. The ramping up of the hookup culture distorts things a bit because many guys are happy to drop their standards for nsa sex and women can get to sample better than what they can get for a LTR and for some it will raise the bar on their relationship expectations. Many of the guys not getting a good piece of this action naturally will get frustrated while waiting to get approved for a relationship. Your 5% is too extreme too. I know a dozen guys know over the last few years with multiple fwb/fb, and I would only put a couple in the top 10%.

[SoundofPerseverence]

The overwhelming majority of guys are lucky to find a relationship every 4 or 5 years.

Rubbish. For a subset of men yes, but the majority (>50%) that is absolutely not the case. Are the majority of your friends & other guys in your social circles, wandering the dating wasteland single for years? I doubt it very much. Maybe 5-15% maybe.

 

You see it over and over on this site. All these threads of women dating men who are players and jerks who are cheating on them or cheating on their gf with them.

Yes imo a big % of women sleep with these guys between relationships but most are not going to get a serious relationship out of them. The hookup scene is different from the relationship scene. As for guy's tales of woe on LS, they are not representative of the wider community of men. Generally only people who are having trouble with dating/relationships are going to end up on here. If things are going well in life for a guy he wont be on this site.

 

Is it just women's natural inclination to constantly look for the most desirable man she can get her hands on? Many women seemingly would rather be a side toy for a top 5% guy than be in a relationship with a man her equal

Everybody is out for the best they can get. The ramping up of the hookup culture distorts things a bit because many guys are happy to drop their standards for nsa sex and women can get to sample better than what they can get for a LTR and for some it will raise the bar on their relationship expectations. Many of the guys not getting a good piece of this action naturally will get frustrated while waiting to get approved for a relationship. Your 5% is too extreme too. I know a dozen guys know over the last few years with multiple fwb/fb, and I would only put a couple in the top 10%.

 

I've been involuntarily single for 9 years now myself and I know a dozen or more guys like that - most not as extreme as I am but many have been single for 3 or 4 years. All of us are pretty decent looking, intelligent, friendly and have very reasonable standards

 

The female equivalent of this doesn't exist. The only women involuntarily single are either a terrible catch or shooting for guys way way out of their league. This is because, for a man to be considered attractive, he's gotta satisfy a million dating requirements. Women just mainly have to be decent looking, not overweight and not crazy, all very easy.

 

And btw when I say top 5%, I'm talking more about things like ability to meet women in day to day life, skills with women, etc... I personally am in the top 5-20% in things like income, looks, college degree, quality of life style and friends, etc... but that doesn't even matter. There is a million more dating requirements that I have to qualify for in order for women to find me attractive and I always fail somewhere along the line

 

And you say everyone is out for the best they can get but that's a heavily female trait to me. Most guys are way more in tune with what is reasonable in dating. I would be absolutely thrilled personally to date the female equivalent of myself.

Edited January 2, 2015 by SoundofPerseverence

[JuneJulySeptember]

It is frustrating being an average or below guy.

 

You need to approach women and most of the time, you will not be their type and they are going to reject you. It's because men approach and women generally choose.

 

You just need to get used to it.