Consolidated discussion - In dating/relationships, my gender has a much harder time

[despairingbuttrying]

So many mistakes and tfy, I think you both have very good responses there.

I do believe everyone is different and so maybe the phrase "there is someone for everybody" rings true. However not for people like kazen though who thinks I have zero chance and should give up. I suppose she has a point too because I am one of these nobodies that is more reliant on online dating.

Maybe I should just take what I can get but at the same time there needs to be a mutual attraction.

[road]

C'mon people....This is not that hard...

 

I'm not a woman, but I know what the deal is....

 

If you are a woman, like I stated previously, you have to be constantly "on your game" physically to attract good/desirable men...And it matters not if you are higher or lower on the socio-economic scale...Additionally, while it's great for a woman to "climb the corporate ladder" and/or do well for themselves career wise, they don't really get a whole lot of points for doing it, as it would for a man..It only really translates into more independence from men...Those women could (and do) struggle mightily...

 

And because women don't put as much emphasis or attention to looks in a man, as long as they are reasonably attractive, good women don't hold that against them, in the same way a man does to a woman...

 

Not to state the obvious, but with women, attraction from the opposite sex can either be genuine, or have an ulterior motive(sex/objectification) only...Guys generally don't have this problem...or if they do, its easier to ferret out...

 

And here is another thing, and Ill admit that this might be somewhat controversial to say this....I mean no disrespect to anyone..Just my own personal observations..

 

If you are a reasonably attractive to good looking man, with any of his shyt together over the age of....say.....28-30, then you are pretty much going to have a pretty easy time attracting women...The numbers start to really work in your favor, because more "good" guys get scooped up early, and you wind up competing with basically a rag-tag bunch of idiots and nobodies...Its a numbers game at that point...

 

I'll even go as far to say that most "good" available men don't even get a chance to make it into the OLD world...They have women locally all over them in their own circle just waiting to pounce on them like a cat to a mouse.....Some of my contemporaries(good guys that have divorced) wound up with tons of options and securely with a new woman almost instantly...

 

That's why it seems like the only guys on OLD are players, flakes, and nobodies...I have seen really good looking women having no success on OLD..I've even seen it on this site and scratched my head over it..."How is this even possible"? .I can only imagine how frustrating and difficult it must be..

 

And lastly, its often said that older guys are seen as sexy, sophisticated, worldly, accomplished, etc...older women seem to be thrown in the trash heap once they get menopausal and unless they spend a King's ransom on restorative surgery, and just about kill themselves with restrictive diet and exercise, seemingly no guy that's considered desirable wants them...I know a guy that's recently divorced, in his early/mid 60's...I asked him if he's dating, and he replied, "have you ever seen what women look like at my age? ....No thanks....I'll hold out for some 40 year old when I am ready"...The crazy part is he could probably easily pull it off..

 

That's pretty effing sad, if you ask me...

 

TFY

 

I have seen many men that got passed on the early rounds

in the dating drafts when young. Average men, they lacked

in somethings. Whether looks were off, way they dressed,

social skills, height, not fat, not skinny, yet not toned, dull job,

but secure, making $50,000 - $75,000 a year get snatched

up in their late 30's - early 50's by attractive by appropriate

aged women.

 

Why?

 

Because the "alpha losers" that made their panties wet years ago

now leave them dry. They woke up to the fact that what they

perceived to be hot in one aspect of life does not make up

for all of their short comings.

 

So being all the good top tier men have been drafted. All

that is left are the solid, dull, dependable good average men.

This is why these guys find dating great in their later years.

 

All the tough competition is gone for them.

 

Yes their are men left still struggling as they age because

they are still stuck in the third tier. For whatever reason they

have not been able to elevate the level of what they bring

to the game/table. They plod along without self improving.

 

As to women here that have had problems finding men.

To me from what I have read is that they always wanted

Mr Perfect instead of Mr Right. Always wanting a top tier

man but not being able to pull one in. Never willing to accept

a man comparable to their own level.

 

I have seen many women in their 30's and up in good

career jobs that were desperate for a good man. They

just wanted a man that could hold a job, any job.

By todays money a 10 to 12 dollar an hour job.

 

They did not need help to buy a house, HI, pension.

They had that covered on their own. The ability to

keep a job showed that at least he is not a total bum

and must have some good qualities to not get fired.

 

These women realized that that came up short in

what they brought to the table so the just needed a

man that can keep a job long term. Janitor, stocking

shelves, was golden to them.

 

Everybody wants to drive a new $100,000 car/truck.

Yet many people drive $1,000 cars/trucks because it

beats walking.

[thefooloftheyear]

As to women here that have had problems finding men.

To me from what I have read is that they always wanted

Mr Perfect instead of Mr Right. Always wanting a top tier

man but not being able to pull one in. Never willing to accept

a man comparable to their own level.

 

I have seen many women in their 30's and up in good

career jobs that were desperate for a good man. They

just wanted a man that could hold a job, any job.

By todays money a 10 to 12 dollar an hour job.

 

.

 

 

I think what they don't understand is that perhaps rather than throwing their hands up, realize that those guys aren't common, but they do exist, They wont be on POF, Tinder, or any of those other sites, that's for sure......If they are, they are probably just trolling for easy lays..until they find someone or get that out of their system..

 

TFY