CurlyIam Posted October 3, 2004 Share Posted October 3, 2004 Hi, LS Maybe you have an idea of helping me handle this beter. I'm frmEastern Europe and last year I have studied in Paris and haven't been home in... 11 month. Big mistake, a lot of things I needed to work out myself... Anyway, when I returned... the first few days I was horrible. I couldn't get used to my parents, they had this ennoying little habits that drove me Insane, I was like "WTF, these are not my parents !". For the last 5 years we've lived apart, I used to see them each 2 months. So it was not like a very big shock not seeing them at all of a sudden. The worst part is that they told me nothing about it. I would have rather they'd screamed and called me an ungratefull child. I was soooo mad and helpless. I think I noticed they had gotten old. And I loath myself for not being more understanding, more caring, but after a whole year of doing what I felt like, it was damn hard to obey unwritten rules again. It was instinctive, I was rejecting any formof authority. My little sister does condamn me a lot. I try to tell myself that she hasn't been inmyshoes, so she can't know. I stayed home 2 months but actually with them for about 3 weeks, one month, as I had a big exam to pass in order to get my Bachelor Degree. So I was wondering if youlight have been this in this situation before. I do call and stay intouch with them... I wish I knew what to do more not to distance myself so far from them. Thanks, Curly Link to post Share on other sites
Nosmas Posted October 3, 2004 Share Posted October 3, 2004 Hi Curley, You know, after being separated for 5 years from anyone but our parents we expect there to be a certain period of adjustment to become more familiar. The only people I've ever seeing after this lengthy period of time are those at what we call "class reunions." (Not sure if you have these in Europe) And usually participants only see each other a few days at most, and spend much of that time drinking to overcome their natural reluctance to be around each other. I in fact, cannot imagine consuming enough alcohol to make a reunion bearable. Anyway, keep in touch with ma and pa enough that your concious is OK, but I wouldn't plan to live with them for any 3 week stretches if I were you unless you've had a lobotomy. Go for a couple of days. Make it a "pit-stop." Hit the local pub. Then fly to the US and really go on vacation! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CurlyIam Posted October 3, 2004 Author Share Posted October 3, 2004 Ha ha ha, Sam, you're a laugh! It may sound a bit weird, but my family and I used to have this special relation which resisted 4 years with a man they ended up despising.I guess I was hoping to catch up and just take it from where we left it. It shocked me to see the effect of time spent apart. Maybe 3 weeks was a long time. It sure felt like not enough time to me... I felt I had so much to say, to communicate, I was home and wanted to share all I've experienced. It sounds weird, it was like all people there use a code and I once knew it. This time, it was on the top of my tongue. Nothing. Funny when I think of it. I think my mom felt this more than understood it. MAybe they simply don't worry so much now, they've gotten used to my not being there or my acting all strange. It's sad. Like I'm speaking in a language that they do not comprehend. I'm left with mimic, signs, gesture... I'll go back home for Winter Holidays. Hopefully it will turn out better. Link to post Share on other sites
Nosmas Posted October 3, 2004 Share Posted October 3, 2004 Well, you better bring the traditional family gallon of vodka with you! Have you ever heard the expression: "You can never go home?" I think you're just about to find out how the expression originated. Both you, your parents........ the entire pendulum, will never quite return to its original position. Try to make this work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CurlyIam Posted October 4, 2004 Author Share Posted October 4, 2004 Originally posted by Nosmas Well, you better bring the traditional family gallon of vodka with you! HAve we met before? Have you ever heard the expression: "You can never go home?" Nope, but I think it describes perfectly what's going on. Try to make this work for you. I am and obviously doing a poor job of it. Well, I'll have to do with phonecalls and cards and being a b!tch each time I go home, for the first few days at least. Link to post Share on other sites
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