Girlfriend interested in stripping

[johan]

Good luck, Apocx. I personally think you're in a difficult situation. I've been there. It's pretty hard to face the idea of random men paying to see your girlfriend undress. Especially if you hate the idea of stripping to start with.

 

I agree with the consensus though: she's should be allowed to do it if that's her choice. With no interference from you. You just need to make it clear to her how her choice is going to affect you. And you need to decide if you can stay with her if she does it. Let her know that, and then stick by your decision. She's 18: old enough to make her own decisions, but too young to understand the consequences. Sorry if that sounds condescending, but it's a fact.

 

If she was 16, it would be ok. 16 year olds know everything.

[Papillon]

Muuwahahaha!

[Adunaphel]

I feel for you because I could never be with a person who makes a living as a stripper myself.

 

(If you were a guy who likes to go to strip clubs and would do it even if your gf felt bad about it, I'd say you have no right to complain.

If you just liked strip clubs, but didn't go to them out of respect for your gf's feelings, I'd tell you that at least now you can go to them as much as you like - it would be just fair.)

 

 

I agree with the other posters who said it is her choice to decide whether to strip or not....if she decides to strip there is not much you can do about it, except letting her know in advance that it would really bother you.

 

If she decides to strip and this would make you very unconfortable I suggest you dump her or you'll end up feeling miserable.

[Apocx]

Originally posted by johan

She's 18: old enough to make her own decisions, but too young to understand the consequences. Sorry if that sounds condescending, but it's a fact.

 

If she was 16, it would be ok. 16 year olds know everything.

 

Thing is, she is a child. She sees everything as good and marvellous and has no real worries about anything, which is kinda scary from my point of view.

 

I dunno, she is still toying with the idea, but if she can't pass on that for me like I've passed on things for her, it will probably end. I hope this is just some attention or testing tactic.

[Stone]

Originally posted by Apocx

If you had a boyfriend before you starting stripping who you were in love with who disapproved, would you pass on stripping?

 

Depends on how much I needed the money... who knows if she tries it she might freak out and run off stage.... I did my 1st time and it was years before I went back, I think alot of girls fantisize about being a "sex goddess" and that is basicaly what you are doing when you are stripping and getting paid for it.

[Papillon]

I would have to pay people to watch me strip

[Stone]

Oh yea baby... I got a 20 for ya

[savethedrama4allama]

Pap- I got five on it.

 

Really this is a tough one. You have to give your significant other the freedom of their own will. They should take whichever job they choose.

 

With that said, I agree that nudity is something for boyfriend/girlfriend only. I'm one of those sickening old-fashioned types who thinks that sex is emotional as well as physical, and I save my "goodies" for mutual loving relationships. Sounds as though you are the same way, Apocx. And good job on not having a double standard (so many guys would not allow their girlfriend's to strip but they'll go to the club. WTF? I don't think so.) I don't think you have any right to tell her what to do here, or to get her in any trouble with her family. But you do have the right to say "ciao" if she takes this job. If she begins strippling, obviously your views on nudity and sexuality do not align.

[FolderWife]

Originally posted by Apocx

I guess newspapers and the National newscast lie about everything...

 

 

 

You know not what you speak. I have no problems trusting her. She went to Europe for three weeks in the summer and I had no contact with her. Despite being **** worried about her the whole time, I never once doubted her loyalty, and I don't now. But that doesn't mean I trust the other people around that profession, and I know how easily she can be influenced.

 

It's hard to explain how I feel, but it is just something I don't want her doing. If she said she didn't want me doing something, I'd stop or not do it without reason other than being asked not to.

 

 

Have you considered that maybe you aren't paying her enough attention, and she's doing this to get a rise out of you? Maybe you aren't making her feel sexy enough, so she's going to become a strpper to feel sexy. Maybe she's doing it to prove she can. Maybe she'll do it for a week and hate it.

 

I agree though, if she does do this, dump her, so you're not drug into the drama. Tell her flat out that you don't want to date a stripper, because you don't want other men looking at and touching your woman's body, and that you aren't comfortable with the idea of her being so vulnerable. Don't tell her she's naive. Tell her that you don't want to date a stripper, and if she can't respect that, then your relationship is going th have to end. If she becomes a stripper, dump her. You aren't giving her an ultimatum to control her, you are simply telling her what you are willing to live with.

[zara]

How old are you? it's just that you sound as though you want to control her and i was wondering if you are a few years older than your gf?

 

She does sound very young and naive and she probably has some great fantasies about what it would be like to be the sex godess that men will gladly part with cash for. However, the reality can be less glamourous - NOT as in the sensational ideas you seem to have of some infernal pit of drugs and prostitution (check out some of my other post and you'll see that we are quite normal women who sit in the dressing room squeezing each others zits and taling about our husbands/ kids/ essays that are due in, as opposed to hoovering up narcotics!) - but rather you get drunken fat old men who try to haggle with you over the price of adance or are jusr plain rude as they slobber "f- off i want a chick with big t*ts/ blonde hair/ long hair/ taller/ shorter" and trying to put their hands where they shouldn't. Maybe you or a friend (since you don't like them) should take her to a club and let her talk to some of the dancers. And stoneheather is right, it is usually the naive rebellious ones like your girl who get themselves into trouble as opposed to getting a good amount of money behind them to pay for their education.

 

Also, i agree that her parents don't have to know - lord knows mine don't and never will!

 

Can she dance? would you feel so bad about her getting a job as a regular nightclub dancer? maybe this would be a good compromise?

 

But at the end of the day i really think you have some fundamental differences in values and would question whether or not you are suited to each other.

[Weird]

I could never date a girl who was a stripper or wanted to get into stripping. It is nasty to me. And I don't go to strip clubs. Never been in one to be quite honest.

 

I shall leave my opinion of guys who go to strip clubs to myself.

[Stone]

Originally posted by Weird

I could never date a girl who was a stripper or wanted to get into stripping. It is nasty to me. And I don't go to strip clubs. Never been in one to be quite honest.

 

Don't judge if you've never been there.

[jesicka30]

okey for your girlfriend sake if she truley is gullible then the other dancers will eat her alive there is nothing nice about first timers the other girls well the majority are rude mean and ruthless specialy to new ones they have a way about making you feel uncompfortable in your own shoes. if she does do this make sure to tell her not to try making friends keep to herself and it not as bad personaly i am nice to my fellow strippers cause i happen to work at a club that everyone is secure enough to handle it but this is about 10 clubs later good luck and dont trip

[zara]

Hey wierd, it's okay, i'd never date a guy who goes to strip clubs... i think they're nasty

 

jesika - sorry you have had bad experiences but i've worked at lots of clubs where the girls have been just fine to me. You always get one or two bitches but that's true of any workplace and most of the other girls hate them too!

[Rez]

Im currently dating an ex-stripper. She didnt get into drugs while she did it. She was never put into any dangerous situations. She never had any negative things happen to her while she did it. I should add, that shes very street smart and theres certain precautions that she took while stripping out of town that a naive 18 yr old may not think of.

That being said, I dont think I could handle it if she went back to it. A lot of women, and Im not saying all, but a lot get into stripping because they thrive on male attention. The one Im dating did (and still does sometimes, which concerns me). Her saying its a "rush" would lead me to believe thats why your girlfriend wants to do it.

I dont know that this is an idea you can drive out of her head. She needs to figure it out for herself. All you can do is take care of yourself and if it drives you crazy, you may have to leave her.

Its also not your duty to keep her near her family or fulfill her need for this rush. Again, you need to take care of yourself and let her figure this out on her own. Maybe you leaving her will be the light bulb she needs.

I can say, if she does thrive on male attention, this wont stop with the stripping thing if she decides not to do it. I dated another woman a few years back with some serious male attention issues. If she felt she wasnt getting enough from me (and she was, believe me) shed go off to find it somewhere else, which as you can guess, led to her cheating on me.

Anyways, just my 2 cents.