rolig Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Hey there! My girlfriend went travelling for 2 months in Nepal, and just returned recently. We've been together for about 3 years, and are generally very loving and happy together. She spent 2 weeks of the trip with a good friend of mine, and everything was cool about the travelling. Today, however, i opened her computer (as i often do), and it started on her facebook inbox, where i could see she had sent a long an romantic letter to someone from nepal. It said things like "I think of you every day", "it's hard to forget, even though it is probably best" and "I hope you are better at forgetting than i am". She is not at home right now, she is at a friends place. But i'll have to confront her with this when she gets home, and i'm not sure how to tackle it. I mean, i love her, and we've been living together for more than a year. She tells me she loves me all the time, and that i'm the only one for her. How am i then to react? My plan is to tell her i saw it, and tell her that i'm very dissapointed she would do such a thing, and then keep it secret from me for about 2 weeks after she got home. Depending on the answers to my question, i'll know if i'm leaving or not. Hard times, it was good to write it down, though. Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Pack up her stuff, leave it outside your house, and say "we are done, cheating (explotive)". She not only cheated on you, but is in love with another person. she did not care about your concerns or feelings, so why care about hers, now? if it was my fiance who did this, her things better sprout wings or become fire retardant because they are being burned or being thrown from my balcony. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about that. But you don't need to think about her feelings anymore. Be a man and confront her for the lying ____ she is! good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Yep! either you leave or she leaves (depending on who's on the lease). She thinks about him everyday? Really?.....That's more that a crush, something happened for her to "think about him everyday". I agree with the other poster, If you're on the lease, have her stuff packed up and waiting outside the door or just right inside. I would print out a copy of that "love letter" and have it resting on top. That should have answered any questions as to WHY her stuff is out. Put a side note on there and say, "Now, you don't have to 'think' about him everyday. You can have him because you just lost me. You and him can ride off into the sunset together on a Yak." Then, I would talk to this "really good friend" of yours and find out what is going on and why didn't he/she tell you about this guy in Napal! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MrRightNow Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 You need to kick her cheating ass to the curb, regardless of how she answers your questions. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
edelveis Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Pack your things write her a letter and leave.or wait for her tell her everything and then leave.i dont know how u can trust her ever again after this.she cheated and lied to you.you deserve better.so respect yourself and walk away Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Sorry to hear that man. Really sucks. She obviously can't be trusted and is selfish. She is keeping you around until she finds someone "better". Do as the other people stated and pack up (whether it's her stuff or yours) and leave. I wouldn't even give her a reason because I bet that will mess with her head more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 I'll have to confront her with this when she gets home, and i'm not sure how to tackle it. Print out the letter, hand it to her when she gets home and ask her if she'd like to discuss it. You've been together for three years and live together. Handle this as a mature adult, face to face. Work with the evidence at hand. As you stated, next steps will turn upon what that interaction brings. If you've had sexual relations with her since her return, I'd suggest being tested for STD's. My sympathies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Honestly if I would be you I would not be home whens she would come back... She does not deserve even the confrontation ... you are just going to hear lame excuses and if you are week you are going to buy on them just because co dependency. Pack you things and live... you deserve better! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 All the advice so far has been excellent. I suggest you man up and break up. She perpetrated the ultimate disrespect against you. It said things like "I think of you every day", "it's hard to forget, even though it is probably best" and "I hope you are better at forgetting than i am".She's had her fun in Nepal and now she's back to her safety net (you). Don't let her pull this **** without consequences. Maintain your self-respect and kick her to the curb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 (edited) Let me get this straight: She lied to you stone-cold for the two-weeks time that she was back, and (assuming that you and she communicated while she was in Nepal), the two months that she was in Nepal. AND you still feel you can trust her?? Someone needs to wake up, take some caffeine--we're talking Three Cups Of Tea here..... Edited May 29, 2013 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpio1978 Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 This happened to me. I was cheating on a boyfriend when I was a much younger girl and he hacked into my e-mail and printed out an e-mail I had sent someone who I was interested in. I walked out to my car and saw the e-mail printed out and placed on my windshield. It wasn't an "Oh ****" moment for me though. I realized how he obtained the e-mail and felt that he was absolutely insane. It made me happy the relationship was over. I should have just ended it prior to anything, but it was a long time ago. Fast forward a few years later and karma kicked me right in my ass. I opened my laptop that my boyfriend was using earlier and read e-mails that he sent a girl he wanted to date behind my back. I confronted him about it and got blamed for being a psycho and disrespecting his privacy. Oh, and he tried to turn it around and pretend he wrote it on purpose because he thought I was looking through his stuff and wanted to pull a "serves you right". Utterly ridiculous. Be prepared for a number of different reactions with one to include her turning it on you and making you the bad guy for reading her stuff. Either way, I deserved to get dumped and so does she!! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Has anyone who has been cheated on just avoided confrontation altogether and just broke up with the other person without any explanation whatsoever? I'm beginning to think that might be an even better way to go about it than blowing up on her or even accusing her of cheating. It'd be so mysterious and sh*t...a complete mindf*ck... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Has anyone who has been cheated on just avoided confrontation altogether and just broke up with the other person without any explanation whatsoever? I'm beginning to think that might be an even better way to go about it than blowing up on her or even accusing her of cheating. It'd be so mysterious and sh*t...a complete mindf*ck... I have. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 She cheated and lied and is communicating with the other guy behind your back. The relationship is over. Faster you realize that the better. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Has anyone who has been cheated on just avoided confrontation altogether and just broke up with the other person without any explanation whatsoever? I'm beginning to think that might be an even better way to go about it than blowing up on her or even accusing her of cheating. It'd be so mysterious and sh*t...a complete mindf*ck... I didn't but I wish I would have done it! It is really the way to go with cheaters, they don't even deserve the chance to explain themselves... there is not valid explanation! Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Has anyone who has been cheated on just avoided confrontation altogether and just broke up with the other person without any explanation whatsoever? I'm beginning to think that might be an even better way to go about it than blowing up on her or even accusing her of cheating. It'd be so mysterious and sh*t...a complete mindf*ck... I had an ex that I found out was sneaking about with her ex bf. I dont know if theyd been intimate but the lies were enough for me. Id never snooped before but red flags drove me to reading emails. Thank goodness I did. She was not who she pretended to be. I ditched her that day. Never told her why, other than it didnt feel right. It was over. What else is there to say. I wasnt gonna listen to more lies cos thats all u get with sneaks. Why lower yourself to that gutter standard. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Has anyone who has been cheated on just avoided confrontation altogether and just broke up with the other person without any explanation whatsoever? I'm beginning to think that might be an even better way to go about it than blowing up on her or even accusing her of cheating. It'd be so mysterious and sh*t...a complete mindf*ck... Do that and when they ask why you are ending it simply say you know why. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Closed until thread starter comes back, alert on this post and we will reopen the thread Link to post Share on other sites
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