Same <stuff>, different day

[Leigh 87]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

I texted my ex tonight.

 

He texted back and rang right away.

 

It made me feel WORSE than if I had just. NOT.

 

SAME ****e different day! He is so happy to hear from me, he never expects me to stay out of contact for long, he knows we are such close people and will definitely talk and check in on each other, he wants to be friends and hold hands and hug and not see other people.

 

UGH.

 

I had not cried all day until he rang, and I realised that he WILL NOT CHANGE HIS MIND.

 

....................................................

[Leigh 87]

This

 

 

 

Sucks.

 

 

 

 

...............................

 

On the plus side though - the longer I go without contacting him, the better I feel and the less emotional I am.

 

I just burst into tears as soon as we spoke; I MISS him. Incredibly. Saying how much I miss someone to the point where I am in physical pain that is unbearable, that life is short and WHY can't we just have this hole GONE.

 

Nothing I do will make him change.

 

 

 

He likens having sex to getting back together... He can only do it in a relationship with me with 100% feelings involved, or wait until we are friends with benefits.

 

 

Back to day one for me.

 

I am going to need to block his number.

 

He will honestly be shocked once I stop breaking NC.

Edited May 28, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Giha]

Didn't you say you deleted his number? Didn't you say you would block his number?

 

Leigh, are you enjoying this? I'm asking seriously.

You just keep coming back for more. Learn from your mistakes. There's nothing much left to tell you because every advice you get you just ignore and run right back to him.

The suffering won't stop if you don't get it together. Come on.

[Leigh 87]

It only confirmed how much better I feel when I don't talk to him.

 

It is not that bad - I do not have any hope or anything like that.

 

I caved because of the comfort I got from hearing his voice.

 

Initially it is like a high; your talking to a person who has that affect on you.

 

Early on in this call I snapped and realised that the MORE I continue talking to him, the longer it will hold me back from the good times ahead.

 

I am moving forward although it seems like I'm not, in the sense that I KNOW the impending doom that awaits me if I do NOT maintain NC.

 

Each time I break NC, I realise how short lived the temporary "high" is from talking him.

 

Each time I break NC I realise how much BETTER I will feel once I maintain NC.

 

Each time I break NC I realise how great it will be when the pain ends.

 

Each time I reach out to him I realise how thing will ever change the way he feels.

 

I just realise he misses me a lot, it is traumatising for him to lose someone that was so close to him, but no; that is not him being madly " in" love with me and wanting to be WITH me in every way; in a relationship.

[Leigh 87]

I have deleted him from my contacts but I remember his number.

 

We have talked less and less, and at this stage I have no hope of a second chance.

 

I just feel the pain of losing him from my life, and when I feel that pain it feels unnatural to NOT be able to reach out to the person who I would ALWAYS go to first with any pain I felt:(

 

My body reacted pretty quickly. I knew the circles we were going in; he misses me, he believes he really loves me still, but does not want to be with me.

 

The temporary relief I get is from just talking to him. It comforts me to talk to a person I was once very much attached to.

 

There is no hope for us and I want to feel how wonderful it will be to not feel this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The end is close in sight; within a few months I have the option of leaving this pain behind me!

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Leigh,

 

I seriously mean no offense WHATSOEVER, but if you two are still this much in love, and missing each other, than why don't you just get back together?

 

I don't know your entire backround, and I mean no offense, it's just that some of us WISH we had your opportunity.

[Leigh 87]

I need to block his number after all.

 

Damn.

 

It lasted a day lol.

 

Oh well no biggie, I was only on day one of no contact anyways.

 

All it took was a small text and all of a sudden he stops taking my NC seriously and calls me. Knowing full well that he did not want me back lol.

 

I mean, he is so retarded; when I say " friends hey? oh YEAH buddies, so how about when we are all hanging out together and we are holding hands and hugging for hours, and I go out and hook up?

 

You know, since you keep saying "lets be friends", I guess we will just hang out, be super close as you put it, and then go...bang other people the day after we are all lovey?

 

He is too short sighted and unaware to see this occurring.

 

...........

 

I will report back tomorrow after I officially get his number blocked/from me calling him and him calling me.

 

 

 

 

 

And how the hell did this become a thread? I posted this in younglove89's thread, and then someone put it up here? IT sure wasn't me!

[Leigh 87]

Leigh,

 

I seriously mean no offense WHATSOEVER, but if you two are still this much in love, and missing each other, than why don't you just get back together?

 

I don't know your entire backround, and I mean no offense, it's just that some of us WISH we had your opportunity.

 

 

I WISH you were correct.

 

I would LOVE it if he was madly in love with me and wanted me back.

 

Sadly, this is really not going to happen. It is not something I hope for anymore. I know this is it.

 

He misses me like crazy and a huge part of him is missing, yes; but it is not the sort of love that compels him to be with me.

He is NOT so much in love. Or he would not impose a ban on being together when it hurts him like hell; he is doing it because he truly does not think we can be together at this stage. He thinks it is for the best.

 

He was in love but he is blocking it out fast; I can feel that he believes we had a toxic relationship and he will not stand for that, and needs us both to have time apart.

 

He won't budge.

 

Maybe if he is single in months to come, he will reach out. But there is no doubt in my mind that we are both going to move on, sleep with other people, and possible date first.

 

The question is: once we move on, will we meet the loves of our lives, or not?

 

If not then yes I can foresee him reaching out.

 

Until then?

 

I need to completely forget he existed and forget about a reconciliation. It is something that would only ever happen if we do not find love again.

 

We are both good looking enough and will definitely just move on rather than get back together, that is the thing, so...

 

I WISH what you said was true:(

 

He misses me and is desperately unhappy without me, but he truly thinks all this pain he is going through is for the best.

 

 

...........

 

 

Blocking his number is sadly the only way I can probably refrain from contacting him.

 

I can see myself going without him, as I have now weened myself from being with him EVERY DAY, to merely texting once every two days, and calling occasionally.

 

Sigh.

Edited May 28, 2013 by Leigh 87

[Mme. Chaucer]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

I texted my ex tonight.

 

He texted back and rang right away.

 

It made me feel WORSE than if I had just. NOT.

 

SAME ****e different day! He is so happy to hear from me, he never expects me to stay out of contact for long, he knows we are such close people and will definitely talk and check in on each other, he wants to be friends and hold hands and hug and not see other people.

 

UGH.

 

I had not cried all day until he rang, and I realised that he WILL NOT CHANGE HIS MIND.

 

....................................................

 

Please shut UP about what Andrew thinks feels knows etc! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! Stop telling yourself this story! It's old and tired! ENOUGH!

 

Just deal with YOUR own feelings. And your OWN behavior. YOU won't stop contacting this guy.

 

That is the story, so far.

 

That's it.

 

If you don't like the results, perhaps you will change your OWN behavior.

[Mme. Chaucer]

oh YEAH buddies, so how about when we are all hanging out together and we are holding hands and hugging for hours, and I go out and hook up?

 

You know, since you keep saying "lets be friends", I guess we will just hang out, be super close as you put it, and then go...bang other people the day after we are all lovey?

 

He is too short sighted and unaware to see this occurring.

 

No, you are being dishonest in your behavior and how you are spinning this story.

 

You won't even refrain from texting him. Which you will need to do in order to take even ONE STEP towards healing.

 

What are you DOING indulging in thoughts of hanging out HUGGING and HOLDING HANDS?

 

That is super unhealthy.

 

You have ZERO boundaries.

[Leigh 87]

No, you are being dishonest in your behavior and how you are spinning this story.

 

You won't even refrain from texting him. Which you will need to do in order to take even ONE STEP towards healing.

 

What are you DOING indulging in thoughts of hanging out HUGGING and HOLDING HANDS?

 

That is super unhealthy.

 

You have ZERO boundaries.

 

 

 

No no no. That is what HE wants to do.

 

Trust me. I am the one who has enough sense to see how badly it will end.

 

And I am healing more and more the less we talk and see each other.

 

I honestly have no hope of getting back together.

 

I will block his number so I won't be able to contact him.

 

And he has made it very clear that he does not think I am strong enough to just cut him out and will also text and call me to check up on me.

 

Anyway, I will comeback tomorrow evening once I have blocked his contact.

 

I am doing better than I was initially. I have NO desire to hang around him.

 

He is the one with no boundaries.

 

I am the one who can see light at he end of the tunnel if all I do is stick to No Contact. I already have lost all hope of getting back together.

 

I will be fine within months and this pain will GO if all I do is stop contacting him.

[Mme. Chaucer]

No no no. That is what HE wants to do.

 

No. I would put money on it. This is NOT what HE wants to do.

 

I know a lot about how you are, Leigh. There is no way that you are a completely different person irl than you are here.

 

You are wringing him out and he's saying "can we just be friends." That's pretty standard, Leigh.

 

And certainly Andrew is not carrying on with you on the phone about hugging and holding hands - unless you are harping on and on about that stuff, which I can easily envision, and he finally just goes along with it.

 

And I am healing more and more the less we talk and see each other.

 

No. Every time you talk you are back to square one. Just like if I were to take drugs after almost 25 years of being clean and sober, I'd be back to square one myself.

 

I honestly have no hope of getting back together.

 

Stop lying to yourself and to us. You post a bazillion times stuff like "I've told Andrew 10057080823 times that if he contacts me it can ONLY be if he desperately wants me and to be with me for ever and ever."

 

I will block his number so I won't be able to contact him.

 

External crap will not prevent you from contacting him. It needs to come from within you. Just like hiding booze from an alcoholic won't prevent them from drinking.

 

 

I will be fine within months and this pain will GO if all I do is stop contacting him.

 

Well, that part is the truth. Except that the part about it being all you need to do.

 

You need to do a LOT more.

[youngnlove89]

Trust me. I am the one who has enough sense to see how badly it will end.

 

Then why do you keep contacting him?

 

And I am healing more and more the less we talk and see each other.

 

You said so yourself, the longest you have gone in NC is a day. How are you healing?

 

I honestly have no hope of getting back together.

 

Again sweetheart, why are you contacting him? If you want to be friends, then do it. But I know you want more.

 

I will block his number so I won't be able to contact him.

 

I know you can't. I can't block mine. It's hard. It's a fact. It's okay if you don't. Just stay strong by not contacting him.

 

And he has made it very clear that he does not think I am strong enough to just cut him out and will also text and call me to check up on me.

 

He KNOWS you can't block him.

 

Anyway, I will comeback tomorrow evening once I have blocked his contact.

 

Tomorrow is always tomorrow. Why not today?

 

I am doing better than I was initially. I have NO desire to hang around him.

 

Do you really believe that? There is nothing wrong with not getting better. You haven't really given yourself a chance to.

 

He is the one with no boundaries.

 

He isn't the one contacting you first sweetie, that is boundaries.

 

I am the one who can see light at he end of the tunnel if all I do is stick to No Contact. I already have lost all hope of getting back together.

 

I think you still have hope. It's obvious. And that is okay. I don't think you are far enough to see any sort of light right now. You need time to heal first. You can't even stick to NC yet.

 

I will be fine within months and this pain will GO if all I do is stop contacting him.

 

Repeat this to yourself everyday!!

 

I believe in you, you can do this. You either go NC and vent on here, or you can keep breaking NC and keep complaining about it on here.

 

Right now, we are all saying the same things over and over. And you keep doing the same thing over and over.

 

But hey, so do I. So who am I to talk, right?

 

You are human. You will make mistakes. You need to stop focusing on what is going to happen, what you are going to do and just do it, just let it happen and then talk about it.

 

I feel for you Leigh.

[Leigh 87]

He wanted to hang out and hold hands just like old times. That was him. That is what he did the 3 times we saw each other post break up.

 

 

 

I swear though: I have no hope that he will want me back.

 

I honestly do not foresee this happening.

 

We will both totally on, find new love and FAIL before we ever reconnected in a romantic sense again. YEARS it would take. BY which time I will not think to want him back, until he actually contacts me and is around me again.

 

I have not been thinking any wild thoughts about us getting back together. None. Zilch.

 

The above scenario is if we don't find anyone else that lasts a life time, lol.

 

For the time being I HAVE accepted that I need to totally forget about him.

 

Regarding No Contact - yes that therapy and ensuring my own life is active and healthy, is what I need.

 

I mean, I am doing well insofar as getting a lot of friends, being fit and healthy, I have part time work and can now work towards saving for my future, and I have found the degree I know I want more than any other career (through trying and failing at other degrees)

 

So the elements in my life are in the direction they should be heading.

 

I honestly want to just cut him out and see the end of this pain asap.

 

I know no contact is the only way I will end this pain. Anything else will only serve to torture me. I know this.

 

Trust me, I have made too much progress in my life to allow myself to knowingly keep in contact with a guy who DOES NOT want me back, and to eventually get hurt all over again once he hooks up with other people and I am still in contact, in his life.

[Leigh 87]

Then why do you keep contacting him?

 

 

 

You said so yourself, the longest you have gone in NC is a day. How are you healing?

 

 

 

Again sweetheart, why are you contacting him? If you want to be friends, then do it. But I know you want more.

 

 

 

I know you can't. I can't block mine. It's hard. It's a fact. It's okay if you don't. Just stay strong by not contacting him.

 

 

 

He KNOWS you can't block him.

 

 

 

Tomorrow is always tomorrow. Why not today?

 

 

 

Do you really believe that? There is nothing wrong with not getting better. You haven't really given yourself a chance to.

 

 

 

He isn't the one contacting you first sweetie, that is boundaries.

 

 

 

I think you still have hope. It's obvious. And that is okay. I don't think you are far enough to see any sort of light right now. You need time to heal first. You can't even stick to NC yet.

 

 

 

Repeat this to yourself everyday!!

 

I believe in you, you can do this. You either go NC and vent on here, or you can keep breaking NC and keep complaining about it on here.

 

Right now, we are all saying the same things over and over. And you keep doing the same thing over and over.

 

But hey, so do I. So who am I to talk, right?

 

You are human. You will make mistakes. You need to stop focusing on what is going to happen, what you are going to do and just do it, just let it happen and then talk about it.

 

I feel for you Leigh.

 

 

 

 

I honestly know he does not want to be with me and that he will not want me back.

 

I do not have hopes that this will actually HAPPEN, lol.

 

Sure it would be NICE for it to, I am not over him and therefore want him to realise he loves me too much to let me go.

 

I do realise this will not happen though. Wanting it to happen and THINKING it will happen are entirely different things.

 

I really do not have hope for us; I do not have a shred of it. I KNOW it will not happen.

 

Trust me, I can do No contact until this hole goes away.

 

And I am healing in the sense that I KNOW he will not come back because he is done with me.

I won't be expecting a phone call once I block contact, months later, with that fairy tale ending.

 

In MY mind, I simply think: a few short months, No contact and I will be free from this pain.

 

Trust me here, I have gone from seeing each other every day, to merely texting once every two days.

 

And he initiates contact too.

 

He has backed of twice, when I told him to never contact me again, that I needed space.

 

In general though, he will be pretty astounded once I DO truly block his number and stop talking to him.

 

He really does not comprehend that this will happen lol.

[youngnlove89]

HIM HIM HIM...that's all you are talking about lately. Him this, him that.

 

I want to hear about YOU YOU YOU. And how YOU are moving on. How YOU haven't contacted him in WEEKS. How YOU are happy. How YOU are thinking of him less.

 

I don't want to hear about HIM anymore and what you think HE wants or feels.

 

Break that habit.

 

He is out of your life, act like it.

 

(I'm always afraid of what I say on here to you, because I know you have reported me in the past, so please know that I am trying to be the friendliest I can be so I can conjure even one little light in your mind that understands what I'm trying to do, which is help you.)

[Leigh 87]

I already feel hostility and resentment towards him for having...well. Not loved me enough to make me the love of his life that he wants to bloody marry.

 

Oh boy, just wait until I reach the "anger" stage!

 

Seriously. Talking to him makes me confused and upset in the end.

 

Not talking to him does not have that affect, I feel stronger, and I feel happier in knowing that the pain will stop if I just keep it up.

 

I WS doing the full No Contact albeit just for a day or two; I really did burry any fantasies of us ever being together. It did not cross my mind.

 

I have started to replace thoughts of him and my dogs with other things, with force, but it works.

 

Anyways I will ask my therapist tomorrow about strategies. To keep him well and truly out of sight and out of mind.

 

I am honestly feeling better than I did the first day or week of the break up. It all feels final now. Before it was still sinking in.

 

I really know it is the end now. It is amore relieving feeling than when I was in limbo, not being able to comprehend it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I swear though: I have no hope that he will want me back.

 

I honestly do not foresee this happening.

 

Really??? Then why do you COMPLETELY contradict yourself and refute all of that immediately after you've wasted your time typing it? Like:

 

We will both totally on, find new love and FAIL before we ever reconnected in a romantic sense again. YEARS it would take. BY which time I will not think to want him back, until he actually contacts me and is around me again.

 

The above scenario is if we don't find anyone else that lasts a life time, lol.

 

For the time being I HAVE accepted that I need to totally forget about him.

 

That thinking is easily broken down into " IF _________________, THEN _____"

 

That does not have ANYTHING to do with "acceptance." You need to accept: This is the way things REALLY ARE. For REAL. That is IT.

And go NO further in your ramblings, here or in your head. NO FURTHER.

 

And, Leigh - being honest for at least the majority of the time you are typing on the Internet would be a great start.

 

You are so dishonest. And I understand that it's all in an attempt to convince yourself that things are the way you want them to be.

 

Not only in your former relationship. Which you have constantly carried on and on and on about as if it was perfect except maybe he did not "want you badly" or perform oral sex enough. And now you tell us that his sex addiction has never left your relationship at all. Not to even mention that you abandoned even the concept of basic adult responsibilities the whole time, which you really need to develop.

 

In other areas of your life, as well, though - the stuff you used to post about before you even got involved with Andrew.

 

Ever since you've started posting here, you've had the same pattern no matter what was going on in your life.

 

I do think you have been moving possibly towards some kind of improvement of your emotional health, but not much.

 

You have said about 2 dozen times (no kidding) that you intend to start therapy, and then come the myriad of excuses.

 

I understand. There are things I really need to address in my life that I keep putting on the back burner, and some of them are very important.

 

The first step is to be honest, though, and to tell the real truth to yourself and to the people you're communicating with. In this case, us.

 

You need to break patterns. This Andrew thing, though your feelings about him and the relationship are truly valid, is basically just another manifestation of your pattern. Which you need to break out of, and you CAN break out of, with consistent, PROFESSIONAL HELP.

 

Do you hear what I am saying to you?

[Leigh 87]

Really??? Then why do you COMPLETELY contradict yourself and refute all of that immediately after you've wasted your time typing it? Like:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That thinking is easily broken down into " IF _________________, THEN _____"

 

That does not have ANYTHING to do with "acceptance." You need to accept: This is the way things REALLY ARE. For REAL. That is IT.

And go NO further in your ramblings, here or in your head. NO FURTHER.

 

And, Leigh - being honest for at least the majority of the time you are typing on the Internet would be a great start.

 

You are so dishonest. And I understand that it's all in an attempt to convince yourself that things are the way you want them to be.

 

Not only in your former relationship. Which you have constantly carried on and on and on about as if it was perfect except maybe he did not "want you badly" or perform oral sex enough. And now you tell us that his sex addiction has never left your relationship at all. Not to even mention that you abandoned even the concept of basic adult responsibilities the whole time, which you really need to develop.

 

In other areas of your life, as well, though - the stuff you used to post about before you even got involved with Andrew.

 

Ever since you've started posting here, you've had the same pattern no matter what was going on in your life.

 

I do think you have been moving possibly towards some kind of improvement of your emotional health, but not much.

 

You have said about 2 dozen times (no kidding) that you intend to start therapy, and then come the myriad of excuses.

 

I understand. There are things I really need to address in my life that I keep putting on the back burner, and some of them are very important.

 

The first step is to be honest, though, and to tell the real truth to yourself and to the people you're communicating with. In this case, us.

 

You need to break patterns. This Andrew thing, though your feelings about him and the relationship are truly valid, is basically just another manifestation of your pattern. Which you need to break out of, and you CAN break out of, with consistent, PROFESSIONAL HELP.

 

Do you hear what I am saying to you?

 

 

I Honestly don't believe we will get back together. The future scenario, I felt, was a fairly common thing that occurs when two people that once had a deep love, reconnect if they do not find other people. It happens.

 

I AM being honest. While I DO know we are done, how can I say "forever" when I am not even sure?

 

I DO know that right now, I am no holding onto hope. The god honest truth is that I DONT KNOW what the heck he will do in the future! I only know that I accept the relationship is OVER right now, and I have entirely let go of the notion of getting back together ANY time soon, if at all.

 

For instance, I do not live my life thinking " this hole will be filled again by him, soon, in time"

 

No no no.

 

I only think about how happy I will be when the pain ENDS; through going No Contact.

 

Please don't tell me what I feel. I just do not know what the future holds, I have no idea what my ex things at this point in regards to me and the future.

 

............

 

 

I left therapy cos I was happy with him. Then got unhappy with my life as I fell so in love that I was so happy without making much of an effort in my life in the way of therapy and betting myself.

That is largely why we did not work: I felt crappy about myself cos I did not work on my life and I was not proud of the person I was allowing myself to be.

This lead to insecurities (Not enough oral sex, etc).

 

In the end, I feel we would have had a lasting relationship had we met when we both had our ****e together.

But we didn't.

I know for a fact we will move on, find other people, and I will heal fast with No Contact within months.

 

And I am going to therapy because I realise I will never be able to sustain a loving relationship, among other stable things in life, without it.

I tend to feel happy and stop therapy. But I a happy person in general. So I guess that scraps that idea of stoping therapy just cos I feel in a "high" mood a lot of the time.

 

................

 

I broke no contact because I missed him terrible and just wanted to talk to the person I am so familiar with.

I caved into my urge to hear from him.

It has nothing to do with wanting a second chance. I really miss him so much that I REALLY want to just talk to him.

Hearing his voice stopped my anxiety at living without him in my life at all.

 

Soon though, I was just running around in circles with him, realising that he DOES NOT want to re try the relationship.

He is stupid. Yet even he can recognise that I cannot just change over night, and rather; need on going help.

[Leigh 87]

What HE thinks is not something that I want to be of my concern anymore.

 

That is why I will stick to No Contact. I WANT to just heal and lose this pain.

 

I KNOW that is what I need to do, to get what I want.

 

I seriously can't wait to get to the stage where I could not care less what he is doing and who he is seeing (or not).

 

I can accept its over, but obviouslyI would still be heartbroken if he moved on any time soon.

 

I am hoping 3 - 4 months will enable me to have healed a lot, and in that time frame, I will literally not cry or feel that phased at the thought of him with the new girl.

 

At least I know it is over and that is all that matters.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I Honestly don't believe we will get back together. The future scenario, I felt, was a fairly common thing that occurs when two people that once had a deep love, reconnect if they do not find other people. It happens.

 

Well, thinking and talking about it is self deluding and destructive.

 

I AM being honest. While I DO know we are done, how can I say "forever" when I am not even sure?

 

Who said anything about "forever"? I am talking about how you are functioning right now, one day at a time, and even one hour at a time.

 

Please don't tell me what I feel. I just do not know what the future holds, I have no idea what my ex things at this point in regards to me and the future.

 

Have I told you what you feel? If so, I apologize, because I don't presume to know. I know a LOT about what you SAY you feel, and a LOT about what you SAY Andrew feels too.

 

............

 

 

I left therapy cos I was happy with him. Then got unhappy with my life as I fell so in love that I was so happy without making much of an effort in my life in the way of therapy and betting myself.

That is largely why we did not work: I felt crappy about myself cos I did not work on my life and I was not proud of the person I was allowing myself to be.

This lead to insecurities (Not enough oral sex, etc).

 

 

You are leaving out the parts about how he never stopped "using women as sex toys" (which is an extremely disgusting way of viewing sex with a woman, including prostitutes, and speaks terribly of his character - and not so well of yours, either, since you seem to think it's fine) and trolling for sexual contact with women on the Internet THE WHOLE TIME.

 

Your relationship was pretty sick, Leigh. Yes, I believe you loved each other because you say so - but it was NOT a good relationship. And not because you were slovenly or whatever. Because you were two very sick people who found each other and indulged in one another's sicknesses.

 

In the end, I feel we would have had a lasting relationship had we met when we both had our ****e together.

 

Yup. And I would be married to a famous millionaire if I were 20 years younger and gorgeous and I happened to meet one.

 

And I am going to therapy because I realise I will never be able to sustain a loving relationship, among other stable things in life, without it.

 

^^^^^

 

Well, that is clear thinking right there.

 

But all this talk about how you were the problem in your relationship? BS. You brought your troubled self with all your problems and acted them out, sure.

 

BUT YOU BROUGHT THEM TO A SICK PERSON.

 

You both did it together.

 

Next time, if you get yourself healthy, you will NOT want to be with a sick person.

 

Much less try to justify and excuse whatever he does.

 

And, please don't go off on your rant about how men can "deeply madly be crazy about" a woman and still have the desire to "use other women as sex toys."

 

I know that already.

 

The issue is, why would YOU want to be with a guy like that when it made you feel like crap?

 

That's YOUR piece to deal with.

[Treasa]

You keep talking about how lucky someone else is because her ex wants to have sex with her, but yours doesn't want to have sex with you, and how it makes you feel not wanted.

 

And you keep going on about "love of your life." Are you kidding me? There is no one blissful, magical relationship out there that will make you happy.

 

I did find the true love of my life. Her name is Traci. She's the same age as me, same height, same weight, same eye color, everything. She gets me off better than anyone ever has, and she loves me more unconditionally than anyone.

 

THAT is the true "love of my life." That is who gives me validation and makes me happy and makes me feel wanted.

 

I never got there until I allowed myself to go through the pain. No distractions, no emotional bandaids...just going through it and feeling all of the hurt, and then realizing that I had made it through unscathed and tough as ****ing hell.

 

I comfort myself. I pleasure myself. If I wanted to, sure, I could have sex with a guy. But that's all it would be. What could ANY guy give me that I can't give myself? What?? Name just one thing.

 

True happiness comes from within. I hope more people realize that, and stop thinking, "True happiness comes from within...as long as someone else loves me."

[youngnlove89]

You keep talking about how lucky someone else is because her ex wants to have sex with her, but yours doesn't want to have sex with you, and how it makes you feel not wanted.

 

And you keep going on about "love of your life." Are you kidding me? There is no one blissful, magical relationship out there that will make you happy.

 

I did find the true love of my life. Her name is Traci. She's the same age as me, same height, same weight, same eye color, everything. She gets me off better than anyone ever has, and she loves me more unconditionally than anyone.

 

THAT is the true "love of my life." That is who gives me validation and makes me happy and makes me feel wanted.

 

I never got there until I allowed myself to go through the pain. No distractions, no emotional bandaids...just going through it and feeling all of the hurt, and then realizing that I had made it through unscathed and tough as ****ing hell.

 

I comfort myself. I pleasure myself. If I wanted to, sure, I could have sex with a guy. But that's all it would be. What could ANY guy give me that I can't give myself? What?? Name just one thing.

 

True happiness comes from within. I hope more people realize that, and stop thinking, "True happiness comes from within...as long as someone else loves me."

 

So are you also saying you don't want to date other guys? Because you don't need them?

[Treasa]

So are you also saying you don't want to date other guys? Because you don't need them?

 

Yep.

 

(10 characters)

[youngnlove89]

Yep.

 

(10 characters)

 

Don't you miss cuddling, kissing, having a guy tickle you, kiss your forehead, hold your hand, tell you you are beautiful, take you out to dinner....