bad luck with relationships

[chuckibo]

i've been having a hard time lately with relationships.

 

it seems this year i've been meeting women who seem to have their heads on straight & are cute. but after 1-2 mos., it seems that they all end up having some emotional baggage or somehow cannot express themselves in a realtionship.

 

for example, my current girlfriend has a problem of wanting to be in a relationship - yet is not willing to express what i consider "normal" couple type feelings/actions. we've been dating for a little over 2 months. for me, i believe kissing, hugging, and your normal interaction between a couple shouldn't be an issue. but in this relationship - it was!! i have to initiate all the hugs, kisses & any intimacy. he has me stay over 3-4 times a week & even though i'm there - she would rarely come up to hug or kiss me, nor sound like she's missed me or anything when i see her. i felt like "why am i here?". then when we would sleep together - i either have to ask for sex or she will not initiate any kind of cuddling or sex.

 

we would discuss these issues & she claims she will try harder to be more expressive. i don't think i'm asking for too much here. also, we are not being intimate enough as i would like. so, what is going on here?? i can't believe i have to go through this so early in a relationship....

 

my other relationships have also included women that cannot be as expressive or loving as i would expect. what gives??

 

can someone help me figure out what's up??

 

thanks!!

[Tony T]

Women are not put on this planet to meet your demands, expectations or requirements. They are just themselves based on their upbringing, personal history and individual personalities.

 

There is someone for everybody. If you do not get your needs met in a relationship after kindly telling your partner what those needs are and giving them the opportunity to meet them, then you should simply say your good byes and move on.

 

You have obviously and by coincidence met a number of ladies who are not in sync with your emotional and physical needs. To me, that makes the odds much greater that you are closer than most to meeting the woman of your dreams.

 

Remember, people are who they are...you can't change them. Just keep looking until you find your match and don't be discouraged.

[Erica]

I totally agree with Tony. If you have tried talking to her about this, and still no changes, then maybe she is not the One for you. Accept that, and do not think of the relationship as a failure simply because it did not work out, think of it as an interesting experience and take what you learned from it to make things better in your next relationship. You will find someone who meets you needs and makes you feel loved and lusted after.

 

Good luck!

[Deejette]

Some people are just not verbally or physically expressive, but they show their love throught their actions. In this case, this girl sounds like she doesn't really love you. She is not showing affection and leaves all overtures up to you.

 

This doens't sound very promising for the future: If she is like this now, what will it be like down the road, when you really get used to each other and the novelty wears off? Do you think then she will run to you with open arms and initiate sex and cuddling? I don't think so.

 

This girl doesn't sound like she is meeting your emotional or affectional needs. Lecturing to her about it won't help. Telling her that you are actively looking for someone who can fulfill what your idea of a relationship is, may be a good solution. It will bring the issue out in the open and you can find out if she can change or if she even wants to change to make you happier.

I totally agree with Tony. If you have tried talking to her about this, and still no changes, then maybe she is not the One for you. Accept that, and do not think of the relationship as a failure simply because it did not work out, think of it as an interesting experience and take what you learned from it to make things better in your next relationship. You will find someone who meets you needs and makes you feel loved and lusted after. Good luck!