Author Wowifoundausername Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Thanks, imtooconfused. I'm not disagreeing with any of you. Your all right on different levels. If I would never have pushed the issue of taking our conversations private... I often wonder what would have happened. I had suspicions that his assistant had access to his email, but wasn't sure. I'm glad, that that was cleared up.... As it has brought a new perspective on things for me entirely. I don't care what or whom you are.... IMO nobody can be completely trusted. His assistant could have had a field day with some of those email.... Whether this married man thinks so or not. To be honest, I'd feel more comfortable bantering around his wife then for some random other person misconstruing things .... To possible cause workplace grief. I am grieving the loss of a good friend. He was so fun. And I suppose the fun... Along with the banter... Which I love doing, is what I'm missing most. Tara is right.... There are others to talk too. I just haven't had that kind of connection yet with anyone else. I do intend to back off and go silent. Clearly, that's what he is doing for his reasons. And I should do it because its the proper thing to do as well. The only thing that keeps haunting my brain..... But I know it should not.. Was this time he told me " no. Don't ever quit. I'm really getting a kick out of it" That said, a month of so ago.... During a conversation he went lull on... And I jokingly said " maybe I should stop the witty banter... I'm probably making you uncomfortable" And that was his response. I'm definitely more chatty that the average person...... And certainly not shy. He could be chatty at times. Other times he would be silent. And he did tell me he is very shy. Not that any to his that matters....... Just thought I'd add this. Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Grieve the loss of the friend. Be happy for things ending that way. What rejected was a request for private email address and not an offer for private meeting, dating offer etc. So you can still be work colleagues and deal with official matters as nothing happened. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wowifoundausername Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 I forwarded him a joke that was sent to me, yesterday and he replied to it in a serious nature... Not speaking of the meaning of the joke???? I was like.. Wth?? So I sent one back saying that the wit of the joke went way over his head... And asked him if he is being coy. No response again. It's like he wants the fun..... But is having an internal batte. This is driving me crazy. I'd like to send him an email asking him if he is afraid of going to jail or something! Lol Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I forwarded him a joke that was sent to me, yesterday and he replied to it in a serious nature... Not speaking of the meaning of the joke???? I was like.. Wth?? So I sent one back saying that the wit of the joke went way over his head... And asked him if he is being coy. No response again. It's like he wants the fun..... But is having an internal batte. This is driving me crazy. I'd like to send him an email asking him if he is afraid of going to jail or something! Lol Maybe he is one of those people who hates receiving every joke that someone else thought was funny? I've been at a point where I've deleted these things without reading. Bottom line, you made this guy uncomfortable and are working your way into doing so again. Why put yourself through this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Wowifoundausername, it sounds like you are torturing yourself hoping beyond hope that you can go back to the friendship that you had, while on the other hand your friend is clearly backing off. I hope that you will see the error in your ways before this goes horribly bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tw1st13 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 I think he's just being friendly but has no intentions on taking it further as u clearly do! If u can't have him as a friend I would leave him alone.. Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Stop this and back off before you appear to him as making a fool of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 ......I do intend to back off and go silent. Clearly, that's what he is doing for his reasons. And I should do it because its the proper thing to do as well. So you recognise this....and then you do - THIS -?! I forwarded him a joke that was sent to me, yesterday and he replied to it in a serious nature... Not speaking of the meaning of the joke???? I was like.. Wth?? So I sent one back saying that the wit of the joke went way over his head... And asked him if he is being coy. No response again. It's like he wants the fun..... But is having an internal batte. This is driving me crazy. I'd like to send him an email asking him if he is afraid of going to jail or something! Lol I'm sorry, but you are now just coming across as a stalker. You don't get it, do you?? This is EXACTLY what that girl was doing at the company I used to work in. But Exactly. Sending him messages he clearly had no interest in receiving, and overstepping the mark, repeatedly. You have to stop this. You simply have to. This is desperation bordering on the obsessive.... And don't make assumptions about what he may be doing, and why he might be doing it, because guaranteed, you are way off the mark. The reason he is not responding is because he doesn't want to. He doesn't invite the attention, and would rather you didn't keep trying to get his. It's sadly, that simple. When he originally began this with you, he had no idea it would escalate to this level, which is why he stopped and backed off. And even explained why. Sadly, his request has fallen on deaf ears. And it's getting intolerable now. Stop this and back off before you appear to him as making a fool of yourself. ^^^This. ^^^ Furthermore, it could get you a warning from your HR department if you continue like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 So I sent one back saying that the wit of the joke went way over his head... And asked him if he is being coy. No response again. It's like he wants the fun..... But is having an internal batte. No, he is not fighting an internal battle. He isn't interested in the jokes anymore. Perhaps it was fun for him for awhile but he realized it was getting very close to crossing some lines for him both personally and professionally so he has stopped. He has been very polite and apologized to you. Now he is just trying to ignore the jokes and concentrate on business. Sheesh, please stop this! It's getting kind of creepy! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Stop this and back off before you appear to him as making a fool of yourself. Just re-posting this as it is all that needs to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I forwarded him a joke that was sent to me, yesterday and he replied to it in a serious nature... Not speaking of the meaning of the joke???? I was like.. Wth?? So I sent one back saying that the wit of the joke went way over his head... And asked him if he is being coy. No response again. It's like he wants the fun..... But is having an internal batte. This is driving me crazy. I'd like to send him an email asking him if he is afraid of going to jail or something! Lol Yikes! If he is being COY? Again, that sounds flirtatious. I think when he told you he enjoyed the banter and asked you not to stop, that was before your question about taking your conversation private. IMO, when you suggested that, it crossed a line for him, and he's no longer interested in flirting and joking around with you. Keep it professional and don't send him jokes. Link to post Share on other sites
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