Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 stop thinking about divorce, filing or anthing along them lines. unless you want your marriage to end?? if she wants to divorce... then she can file!! just live your life for you now and forget about her as best you can i know its tough but it`s not impossible think just about making you happy. and your children aM I will try to quit worrying about it then. I know it is out of my hands. It's just when you've been with someone that long everything reminds you of them, then the memories start to flow.... You guys know the rest Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I will try to quit worrying about it then. I know it is out of my hands. It's just when you've been with someone that long everything reminds you of them, then the memories start to flow.... You guys know the rest yeah i know:o i know it`s hard for you atm you seem to be quite headstrong from what you post keep that strengh up hold your head high keep posting hugs aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) Well I wrote her a letter (that she will never see) expressing exactly how I feel. It felt good to finally say these things even though she will never have chance to read it. Edit: I got the idea from her, a year or two ago I found a letter that she wrote that I was never supposed to see. It was about how she had been listening to this one band a lot and had fallen in love with the lead singer and wanted to move it of the country and try to meet him and maybe start something. I guess I should have taken that seriously that she was unhappy but I know it wasn't intended for me to read so I never mentioned it. Edited June 5, 2013 by lostandconfusedman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Well I wrote her a letter (that she will never see) expressing exactly how I feel. It felt good to finally say these things even though she will never have chance to read it. This is a good mind cleansing tool. I often have conversations in my head (two way conversations with some unspoken other person) and it helps me settle my feelings without the need to approach the other person directly. Please don't fall in the trap of sending the letter. It's for you and you only. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Well I'm at work this morning and I can't stop thinking about her. I feel so down right now Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Well, I got a letter today from our landlord and they wanted a copy of her birth certificate. I asked her if she could send a copy or if she wanted to be taken off the lease. I'm sure you can all guess the answer to that one. I also said I could stall for time if she needed more time to think. She said she was done thinking so I guess it's really over.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 How can I stop the nightmares? Past few nights I've had dreams where she is packing and then disappears or like last night I dreams that she was here to get some stuff she left, a guy was with her. I tried talking her out of going but she wouldn't hear it. In my dream they ended up going out through the bedroom window to escape while I was in the other room checking on the kids. You would think that when you are asleep and dreaming that you would be able to get away from this mess. Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Dreams in the subconscious mind are important for your mind to process what happens to you in the conscious world. To have any dreams (bad or good) will most likely lead to having fewer bad thoughts during the day. Yes, it's excruciating to wake up in the middle of these and remember them, but it is helpful for your mind to process the changes going on in your life. Understanding what the dream means is an entirely different subject. And dreams are not entirely straightforward. But there are some things in this dream that are very clear. Taking care of the kids and missing your wife leave - Are you concerned that you are overwhelmed by being a dad? The other man - That's pretty obvious, but I don't think she has confirmed that there is another man, so despite this being a big concern of yours, it may be unfounded. The Window - According to Dream Moods: "To dream that you are entering or exiting through a window suggests that you are involved in some secretive or underhanded activity." You're concerned that she is hiding away (with another man). Packing - This one may seem obvious, but again Dream Moods has some more detail: "To dream that you are packing signifies big changes ahead for you. You are putting past issues to rest or past relationships behind you." meaning you are concerned (or maybe coming to realize) that she is finishing up her life with you and moving on. Understanding the meanings in the dream can help you to focus on what feelings and worries to work on in the waking world. For that, only you can help yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Had a friend of mine tell me a few things, they worked at the same place together and it was where she was staying. I guess she was here for another week past what she led me to believe. The worst part is that at 6 something Thursday morning she came out of a guys room and did the walk of shame back to her room. When she came down she was crying and waited in her bosses office to talk to her. I guess she got drunk and slept with him and was crying afterwards. The way I look at it is, even if she wants to come home now I don't think I would take her back. Get this, the guy is married with two kids...... Also I guess she had told them to call the police if I tried to go talk to her, I was never abusive and don't see why I am being treated this way.w Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Dreams in the subconscious mind are important for your mind to process what happens to you in the conscious world. To have any dreams (bad or good) will most likely lead to having fewer bad thoughts during the day. Yes, it's excruciating to wake up in the middle of these and remember them, but it is helpful for your mind to process the changes going on in your life. Understanding what the dream means is an entirely different subject. And dreams are not entirely straightforward. But there are some things in this dream that are very clear. Taking care of the kids and missing your wife leave - Are you concerned that you are overwhelmed by being a dad? The other man - That's pretty obvious, but I don't think she has confirmed that there is another man, so despite this being a big concern of yours, it may be unfounded. The Window - According to Dream Moods: "To dream that you are entering or exiting through a window suggests that you are involved in some secretive or underhanded activity." You're concerned that she is hiding away (with another man). Packing - This one may seem obvious, but again Dream Moods has some more detail: "To dream that you are packing signifies big changes ahead for you. You are putting past issues to rest or past relationships behind you." meaning you are concerned (or maybe coming to realize) that she is finishing up her life with you and moving on. Understanding the meanings in the dream can help you to focus on what feelings and worries to work on in the waking world. For that, only you can help yourself. sorry i disagree dreams are just dreams there are 2 things that noone can answer why we need to sleep at all? and why do we dream when we sleep? remember we are just highly evolutionized mammals if we were that evolutionized , we`d hibernate over winter.. like some mammals do...( they got it right ) dreams are just dreams there is NO meaning to them IF it is our subconscious `reaching` out to us when we dream why the hell doesn`t it reach out to us when we are awake? then again maybe it does and we just dont listen to it Then again ,who of us here listens to their head and not their heart when it comes to love anyway:love: aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 (edited) Had a friend of mine tell me a few things, they worked at the same place together and it was where she was staying. I guess she was here for another week past what she led me to believe. The worst part is that at 6 something Thursday morning she came out of a guys room and did the walk of shame back to her room. When she came down she was crying and waited in her bosses office to talk to her. I guess she got drunk and slept with him and was crying afterwards. The way I look at it is, even if she wants to come home now I don't think I would take her back. Get this, the guy is married with two kids...... Also I guess she had told them to call the police if I tried to go talk to her, I was never abusive and don't see why I am being treated this way.w hey lost you are speculating....again in bold what was your `friend` doing up at 6 am, spying on people?? light sleeper? something here doesn`t add up you wouldn`t take her back? have you told his wife about what is going on? you aren`t telling the whole truth are you? in WHAT way are YOU being treated? aM Edited June 9, 2013 by aMguilts Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 hey lost you are speculating....again in bold what was your `friend` doing up at 6 am, spying on people?? light sleeper? something here doesn`t add up you wouldn`t take her back? have you told his wife about what is going on? you aren`t telling the whole truth are you? in WHAT way are YOU being treated? aM He was working the night shift at the hotel where she was staying he happened to be watching the security cameras when she left the guys room. Also one of the housekeepers who is a family friend saw it as well. I mean by how I am being treated as her telling me she left town and then telling them to call the police if I came to try and talk to her. (When I didn't know she was there still anyways) Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 IF it is our subconscious `reaching` out to us when we dream why the hell doesn`t it reach out to us when we are awake? You misunderstand. The subconscious does not reach out to the conscious otherwise like you say, it would happen while we are awake. Instead it's the subconscious taking in, processing and storing the conscious world. It's supposed to happen without our conscious being aware of it. That's why we dream several time a night, yet rarely remember them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostandconfusedman Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Also when she came down to the desk a few minutes later she was crying and hickeys all over her neck etc. And no I have not contacted the guys family, not planning on it either. Link to post Share on other sites
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