Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Yea I did no contact for 4 days and on the 4th day she texting me asking if I had her nook charger. She knows I don't have it. But I made the mistake of responding. Link to post Share on other sites
simplyamazing Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 block her number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Why would she ask me something like this Link to post Share on other sites
Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Oh and then another time after 3 days of no contact she wanted to know the name of a local band. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) Ok i just got direct inteligence for you guys from my ex. back ground we dated 8 years. Ive know her for 14. We are 8 months post BU. Was strict NC seven months. I am 100 percent recovered and in new RS and she is still with guy she left me for. We are both happy with our new significant others and We are now on friendly terms. so i chatted with her for about an hour. We discussed our plans for the weekend and she gave me some good ideas about some fun places i could go with my girl friend ecetera. I sorta view her like a little sis now and she views me fondly. Anyway i decide to ask her some questions about the BU. * she was SUPER relieved that it was over and happy to be out (we had our problems) * NC did not make her miss me at all * she NEVER expected to hear from me again because i said i was going NC * this did not bother her at all as she was busy with her new guy and didnt think about it * even as months went by she never was that curious what i was doing * she had no idea i was that heart broken and thought i was just happily living my life * she would have stayed with me if the new guy didnt sweep her off her feet (who know for how long lol) So there is the low down. Most of them dont miss us even after being together for a super long time and they just move on. All they more motivation to stay NC and get over it. Rock on! Cav Edited June 1, 2013 by cavalier99 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Hockeyguy19 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Ok i just got direct inteligence for you guys from my ex. back ground we dated 8 years. Ive know her for 14. We are 8 months post BU. Was strict NC seven months. I am 100 percent recovered and in new RS and she is still with guy she left me for. We are both happy with our new significant others and We are now on friendly terms. so i chatted with her for about an hour. We discussed our plans for the weekend and she gave me some good ideas about some fun places i could go with my girl friend ecetera. I sorta view her like a little sis now and she views me fondly. Anyway i decide to ask her some questions about the BU. * she was SUPER relieved that it was over and happy to be out (we had our problems) * NC did not make her miss me at all * she NEVER expected to hear from me again because i said i was going NC * this did not bother her at all as she was busy with her new guy and didnt think about it * even as months went by she never was that curious what i was doing * she had no idea i was that heart broken and thought i was just happily living my life * she would have stayed with me if the new guy didnt sweep her off her feet (who know for how long lol) So there is the low down. Most of them dont miss us even after being together for a super long time and they just move on. All they more motivation to stay NC and get over it. Rock on! Cav And that's the reason we all need to let go, nice work cav. Hopefully this hits home with people as much as it does with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Well said, Cav, great post. Take heed, fellow NC pilgrims! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 None of mine have ever come back either. A few I expected to never hear anything from again as we didn't really have anything in common to warrant it. This last one that broke up with me a month ago. Well. I'm moving on, but I'm still in that phase where I'd like her to be the one out of all my exes to come back. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 (edited) Ok i just got direct inteligence for you guys from my ex. back ground we dated 8 years. Ive know her for 14. We are 8 months post BU. Was strict NC seven months. I am 100 percent recovered and in new RS and she is still with guy she left me for. We are both happy with our new significant others and We are now on friendly terms. so i chatted with her for about an hour. We discussed our plans for the weekend and she gave me some good ideas about some fun places i could go with my girl friend ecetera. I sorta view her like a little sis now and she views me fondly. Anyway i decide to ask her some questions about the BU. * she was SUPER relieved that it was over and happy to be out (we had our problems) * NC did not make her miss me at all * she NEVER expected to hear from me again because i said i was going NC * this did not bother her at all as she was busy with her new guy and didnt think about it * even as months went by she never was that curious what i was doing * she had no idea i was that heart broken and thought i was just happily living my life * she would have stayed with me if the new guy didnt sweep her off her feet (who know for how long lol) So there is the low down. Most of them dont miss us even after being together for a super long time and they just move on. All they more motivation to stay NC and get over it. Rock on! Cav On aside note. My ex had an old boyfriend from before me that always had a flame for her. During the time that I was NC and recovering. She was esentially stringing him along until she was super sure of the new guy. (Although she didnt paint it that way lol) It was only last month that she finally told him that she was happy with new guy and they wouldnt get together. He cried. She couldnt care less I think. So this poor guy stupidly let himself be in contact with her with the hope that her new RS didnt work out only to end up thrown out with the trash. Im so glad i was NC and recovered and didnt let myself be friend zoned and be a second backup option. Im sure she would have done the same to me if i let her. I still care for her but this girl has some issues being alone and im lucky to be out. Thank god she dumped me and i got the oportunity to go NC, recover and grow. Im super grateful to her in a strange way. Lol Cav Edited June 1, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Its been over 6 months since she abruptly and with absolute certainty closed the door on our relationship. It's kinda funny really cos within the first few weeks of trying to reach her and hearing nothing I instinctively decided to throw myself into the arms of any woman who showed interest in me which worked to fill the void in my heart initially but I was in total self destruct mode with these women and acted rude, careless, selfish and insensitive while they were trying to make it work with me. As time went by after a few months of ignoring my obvious issues with the break up and watching these women come to hate me for my total lack of respect towards them I just ended up back where I started which was to say to myself "WTF! How did the break up even happen?"...oh that's right, i'm never gonna really know because of NC. I invested everything into that relationship emotionally, spiritually and psychologically to the point where now I'm on empty and I have very little patience for a womans needs anymore cos lets face it....women have a million issues us men have to be sensitive to before we get anywhere in a relationship with them and it takes a hell of a lot of time and effort to be supportive so it was and still is quite a kick in the nutsack to be left high and dry after all the efforts I made. It is what is though...maybe one day I will be able to dig deep and actually care for someone again but right now? not a chance in hell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Well you could say I f... things up saw he is indeed becoming more and more social in just less then few weeks and e mailed him. Asked him is it a rub it in my face thing or punishment for saying no to lets be buddies I know I should not have done that I KNOW but pain cut me to the bone and I could not have stopped it. Now he will gloat and crow the b..... and worst of it is I actually was starting to really Miss Him to Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Well you could say I f... things up saw he is indeed becoming more and more social in just less then few weeks and e mailed him. Asked him is it a rub it in my face thing or punishment for saying no to lets be buddies I know I should not have done that I KNOW but pain cut me to the bone and I could not have stopped it. Now he will gloat and crow the b..... and worst of it is I actually was starting to really Miss Him to How do you know what he is up to socially? Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Who cares plus we share some friends that's moth point now Now all I can feel like is bawling even more for letting him get to me when I should have known better. Link to post Share on other sites
travelonic Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 ] So basically, your logic is "It happened X way to me, therefore [some made up %] of the time that's the only way it happens"? I agree with letting go and healing. I agree they don't always come back - and you should always be aware of this being likely, even being more likely than not. But this... I can't agree with since it is not all or none - it takes a butt-load of factors to determine the likelihood of it happening - time, the people involved, the how/why of the breakup, even the reasons for it occurring... to paint a broad brush one way, or the other, is I've read a lot of stories here, and from all of them I extrapolated one thing: A lot of things were being shared that really had an impact, factored in to not just on the breakup itself - and HOW it went down, but the healing of one party or the other, the likelihood of reconciliation and/or reunion, and the success of that if it ever did came. Simplicity can be good - too much simplicity is, IMO, hard to wrestle with since on one hand it is good for the sake of getting somebody on the right path to healing... but on the other hand, when it comes down to investigating situations, and the why, too much simplicity leaves out important detail.... but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Who cares plus we share some friends that's moth point now Now all I can feel like is bawling even more for letting him get to me when I should have known better. If you're looking him up on Facebook or if you're still friends with him on Facebook, block him now... Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I have to gather a strength to do it just don't know how it hurts so much. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 So basically, your logic is "It happened X way to me, therefore [some made up %] of the time that's the only way it happens"? I agree with letting go and healing. I agree they don't always come back - and you should always be aware of this being likely, even being more likely than not. But this... I can't agree with since it is not all or none - it takes a butt-load of factors to determine the likelihood of it happening - time, the people involved, the how/why of the breakup, even the reasons for it occurring... to paint a broad brush one way, or the other, is I've read a lot of stories here, and from all of them I extrapolated one thing: A lot of things were being shared that really had an impact, factored in to not just on the breakup itself - and HOW it went down, but the healing of one party or the other, the likelihood of reconciliation and/or reunion, and the success of that if it ever did came. Simplicity can be good - too much simplicity is, IMO, hard to wrestle with since on one hand it is good for the sake of getting somebody on the right path to healing... but on the other hand, when it comes down to investigating situations, and the why, too much simplicity leaves out important detail.... but that's just me. I was just stating what happened with my ex. And i beleive that "most" of them dont really miss us that much. Im sure some do to a point but not enought to want us back . Some (very few) do want back together like NA's ex. The point is that at the end of the day it doesnt really matter anyway if they miss us or not because we need to heal and who cares what they think anyway. Just decide they dont give a flying f*ck because they probably dont and use it to heal. Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I have to gather a strength to do it just don't know how it hurts so much. It will hurt more, but for a lot less time then if you were to leave him there. Short term pain with an ending, or long term dull ache that lasts infinitely. Your choice. You're not really NC until all facets of them are purged from your life. This is why I don't add people I'm dating to my Facebook. It stays boyfriend/lover free. Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I did it I removed him I can just imagine how ugly his e mail will be so imagining one more time seeing some random chick added tore me up and I did it. As you say at least like this I wont know but why does it have to hurt so god damn bad 1 Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I did it I removed him I can just imagine how ugly his e mail will be so imagining one more time seeing some random chick added tore me up and I did it. As you say at least like this I wont know but why does it have to hurt so god damn bad So you blocked him? He can't see you, you can't see him? Do it to your email too. Add him to the spam list... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 How long does it take to heal using NC. Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 How long does it take to heal using NC. Everyone is different. There is no timeline. If you do it properly, do not engage, do not email, text, call, drive by her house (accidently running into her is ok, we're all human, s--t happens), if you keep occupied and don't obsess and live your life... you will be feeling much better in about 3 months. I say 3 months because it takes about 12 weeks to form a new habit or break an old one. Look at this as an exercise program for the soul. You absolutely must do the work, it doesn't "go away" by doing nothing. The sooner you get on Meetup.com and make some new friends, the quicker the process will be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Ughhhhh 3 months is a long time. I'm only on day 3 no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kameron Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Bluegreen. How old are you. ? Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Ughhhhh 3 months is a long time. I'm only on day 3 no contact. No one ever said heartbreak was easy. Don't dwell. You need to make some friends. Flesh & blood friends. They're the only thing helping me. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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