PLZ help.....read on....

[Nat]

what do you do when you have been involved w/ someone you work with & recently you get the worst feeling like you were yesterdays fashion fad & its in with the new out with the old? I have been seeing this guy I work with & recently I noticed him talking to this new girl....I kept my mouth shut thinking it was innocent & besides Im prettier thatn her ne-ways! Well, come to find out I get to work the next day & find out she has this party at her house that everyone kept secret from me & he goes. I became real hurt & a bit jealous b/c the attention was on her now & every-1 left me cold in the dust! Later, I hear rumors that they slept together, which I learned was untrue & only a kiss was exchanged. Still, hurt & outraged I went over to his house on my lunch hour b/c he was off work that day...& his Dad said he was still asleep...I knew he didn't want to talk to me. A day later I tried again & after 30 minutes knocking he answered pretty mad. So, yes I do feel bad for going by, but I didn't know what else to do...I didn't want to talk to him about it at work. I expressed how hurt & used I felt his replies were: your psycho for coming by here/even if I was w/ ne-1 its none of your business/Inever promised you were my 1&only its not like you were my gfriend!. That hurts so much!! how do u deal with that? a couple of days have gone by-I went to work yesterday & additionally told him Im not the type to sleep w/ someone & not give a d*m, sorry for caring & having feelings. How cheesy was that!!! I get so tense I cant seem to say the right thing..im still labeled as 'the psycho girl'. Now, easily I could quit & never talk to him again, or I could not quit & still not talk to him ever again, but I much rather try to work it out...we work pretty close together so this has to get worked out...hes only 20 & im 24 what do you do??? yes I know it takes 2 to make it work out, but I definitly have to do my part with my chin up, confidence & self pulled together this time instead of balling my eyes out like before. I have to save my job, my image, my co-workers...back to good...when some-1 has chewed me up & spit me out. I feel soo much hurt right now!! HELP HELP HELP!!!

[Nat]

If ne-1 has some great comeback lines...do share!!!

what do you do when you have been involved w/ someone you work with & recently you get the worst feeling like you were yesterdays fashion fad & its in with the new out with the old? I have been seeing this guy I work with & recently I noticed him talking to this new girl....I kept my mouth shut thinking it was innocent & besides Im prettier thatn her ne-ways! Well, come to find out I get to work the next day & find out she has this party at her house that everyone kept secret from me & he goes. I became real hurt & a bit jealous b/c the attention was on her now & every-1 left me cold in the dust! Later, I hear rumors that they slept together, which I learned was untrue & only a kiss was exchanged. Still, hurt & outraged I went over to his house on my lunch hour b/c he was off work that day...& his Dad said he was still asleep...I knew he didn't want to talk to me. A day later I tried again & after 30 minutes knocking he answered pretty mad. So, yes I do feel bad for going by, but I didn't know what else to do...I didn't want to talk to him about it at work. I expressed how hurt & used I felt his replies were: your psycho for coming by here/even if I was w/ ne-1 its none of your business/Inever promised you were my 1&only its not like you were my gfriend!. That hurts so much!! how do u deal with that? a couple of days have gone by-I went to work yesterday & additionally told him Im not the type to sleep w/ someone & not give a d*m, sorry for caring & having feelings. How cheesy was that!!! I get so tense I cant seem to say the right thing..im still labeled as 'the psycho girl'. Now, easily I could quit & never talk to him again, or I could not quit & still not talk to him ever again, but I much rather try to work it out...we work pretty close together so this has to get worked out...hes only 20 & im 24 what do you do??? yes I know it takes 2 to make it work out, but I definitly have to do my part with my chin up, confidence & self pulled together this time instead of balling my eyes out like before. I have to save my job, my image, my co-workers...back to good...when some-1 has chewed me up & spit me out. I feel soo much hurt right now!! HELP HELP HELP!!!

[Tony T]

Well you have just graduated from the school that teaches very clearly not to date someone from work. Cut all contact with this dude. He did use you, he crapped all over you by keeping secret his going to this other girl's party, and he disrespected you by putting you down for wanting to talk to him.

 

I think your co-workers crapped on you by helping keep this party a secret as well. They are no better than he is.

 

Why the hell would you want to work things out with a guy who would absolutely drench you all over with dunk and then get pissed off at you??? He is a worthless bum and you want to work it out??? He is a deceitful scumbag of the highest order!!! He stinks and I can smell him from here!!! Don't you have any self respect at all??? If this is the kind of guy you want to have in your life as a partner, why don't you go down to your county jail...there are probably even better guys there!!! This guy stinks. If you still want to get back with him, go talk to a counsellor, a member of the clergy, a trusted family member and see why you have this urge to destroy your life.

 

This is NOT the kind of guy a woman dreams about. Forget him, write him off, have nothing further to do with him, and if you MUST date guys at work because there are no other guys in your town, date guys that work on the other side of the building, upstairs, downstairs...or even the guys who take care of the lawn.

 

What kind of a place do you work at, anyway?

[Nic]

hold your head up and forget about this guy. he's ego's probably so big he loves the thought of you chasing him, but he doesn't seem to care about how you feel. he is cold and callous and not worth p***ing on if he was on fire. this guys head is so big it probably has it's own zip code. this guy makes my skin crawl.

 

tell them all you may be 'psycho girl', but it's better than being an office bitch. hmmm, you might want to say that one in your head to avoid any further confrontations.

 

i don't blame you for being hurt about your workmates hiding the party from you. what is their problem anyway? i wouldn't even call them 'workmates'. more like 'workthings'.

 

this is the kind of guy i wouldn't even bother trying to work things out with. he'll probably think that you still want him, simply by you trying to smooth things out. his attitude is the pitts. keep your chin up, and don't get too close or personal with ANYONE in the office on any level. this office sounds like real-life melrose place. go about your work as you usually would, show you are confident in yourself, and only talk to him if it is work related or small talk. no deep and meaningfuls - his ego will just grow bigger and bigger and he'll think you want him more. DO NOT PURSUE HIM. you will only make a fool of yourself and he will LOVE IT. what an egotistical, disrespectful pig!

 

if they continue to call you 'psycho girl' and won't let up, play their own game. if it were me, and they were calling me via an office telephone, i'd answer 'hello, psycho girl speaking'. put a name identification on your desk - 'nat a.k.a, psycho girl'. when they call you 'psycho girl' or if you hear someone mention it, turn around and say 'yes, did someone call me?'. they will soon get bored with the whole thing if you can show it doesn't bother you.

 

act cool, calm and collected and soon the heat will be off you and straight onto someone else in this office. i just can't believe your office is like that. they sound like a bunch of bitchy old biddies. if it gets too much in the long run, get out of there and make some decent friends at a better workplace. what a hell hole! you deserve so much better!

[sparkle]

Nat,

 

DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH A GUY AT WORK!!!!!!

 

(ok sorry, I just had to get that out)

 

Pretend like nothing happened. Yes, you're upset and you're hurt but just pretend like you never had anything going on with him. Pretend like you don't know anything about him, about this girl he's messing with, about the party. It might be hard, but just PRETEND that it doesn't bother you, that nothing at all happened between you and him. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

 

What you DON'T say to him will make him wonder sooooooo much more than anything you could say to him. You could chew him out, you could yell at him for being a jerk, you could tell him how much you want things to work out, but HE WILL NOT CARE.

 

But if you pretend like nothing happened, he will go crazy with curiosity. He's expecting you to be upset. Imagine how crazy you will drive him when you don't say a word about it anymore. You don't need this jerk. Pretend that you're the happiest woman alive. Pretend that he didn't hurt you.

 

Write down everything you hate about him...every single one of his flaws, and everytime you think about him or feel sad or hurt, look at the list to make you realize you can do so much better than him.

 

Good luck sweetie.

[Deejette]

Don't even try to talk to him again. Even going by his house was too much for you to do. He has moved on and doesn't want to deal with you or your feelings anymore. Accept that fact that there are guys like that, today you are the flavor of the day. Tomorrow it will be someone else.

 

But he is too young for you anyway and is probably just dating around from day to day and has no intention of becoming serious with anybody.

what do you do when you have been involved w/ someone you work with & recently you get the worst feeling like you were yesterdays fashion fad & its in with the new out with the old? I have been seeing this guy I work with & recently I noticed him talking to this new girl....I kept my mouth shut thinking it was innocent & besides Im prettier thatn her ne-ways! Well, come to find out I get to work the next day & find out she has this party at her house that everyone kept secret from me & he goes. I became real hurt & a bit jealous b/c the attention was on her now & every-1 left me cold in the dust! Later, I hear rumors that they slept together, which I learned was untrue & only a kiss was exchanged. Still, hurt & outraged I went over to his house on my lunch hour b/c he was off work that day...& his Dad said he was still asleep...I knew he didn't want to talk to me. A day later I tried again & after 30 minutes knocking he answered pretty mad. So, yes I do feel bad for going by, but I didn't know what else to do...I didn't want to talk to him about it at work. I expressed how hurt & used I felt his replies were: your psycho for coming by here/even if I was w/ ne-1 its none of your business/Inever promised you were my 1&only its not like you were my gfriend!. That hurts so much!! how do u deal with that? a couple of days have gone by-I went to work yesterday & additionally told him Im not the type to sleep w/ someone & not give a d*m, sorry for caring & having feelings. How cheesy was that!!! I get so tense I cant seem to say the right thing..im still labeled as 'the psycho girl'. Now, easily I could quit & never talk to him again, or I could not quit & still not talk to him ever again, but I much rather try to work it out...we work pretty close together so this has to get worked out...hes only 20 & im 24 what do you do??? yes I know it takes 2 to make it work out, but I definitly have to do my part with my chin up, confidence & self pulled together this time instead of balling my eyes out like before. I have to save my job, my image, my co-workers...back to good...when some-1 has chewed me up & spit me out. I feel soo much hurt right now!! HELP HELP HELP!!!

[P]

Anyone labelling you 'psyco-girl' can't be woth bothering with. You're finding out who you're friends are here, and that's a good thing to hang onto. It's totally insane that people put labels on others when they are most likely guilty themselves, and that the label should class you with the dreggs of society.

 

Rise above it, and when you're ready treat yourself to a guenuine honest NICE guy ;-)

 

Peter

[nat]

i want to thank you guys for responding to this extreme difficult time I was going through...your words kept me strong & I was able to smile, hold my chin up high, not speak to him & rise above it all. best part is he knows it now! he cant stand seeing my beautiful smile everyday now at work, it eats at him & im loving it. Two of my co-workers remained honest & told him how immature he was! Time has healed a lot & thanks you guys for advising me in a direction I am ever so thankful for & didn't make a fool of myself, but came out shining! We are on speaking terms right now for the sake of goodness! THANKS!

what do you do when you have been involved w/ someone you work with & recently you get the worst feeling like you were yesterdays fashion fad & its in with the new out with the old? I have been seeing this guy I work with & recently I noticed him talking to this new girl....I kept my mouth shut thinking it was innocent & besides Im prettier thatn her ne-ways! Well, come to find out I get to work the next day & find out she has this party at her house that everyone kept secret from me & he goes. I became real hurt & a bit jealous b/c the attention was on her now & every-1 left me cold in the dust! Later, I hear rumors that they slept together, which I learned was untrue & only a kiss was exchanged. Still, hurt & outraged I went over to his house on my lunch hour b/c he was off work that day...& his Dad said he was still asleep...I knew he didn't want to talk to me. A day later I tried again & after 30 minutes knocking he answered pretty mad. So, yes I do feel bad for going by, but I didn't know what else to do...I didn't want to talk to him about it at work. I expressed how hurt & used I felt his replies were: your psycho for coming by here/even if I was w/ ne-1 its none of your business/Inever promised you were my 1&only its not like you were my gfriend!. That hurts so much!! how do u deal with that? a couple of days have gone by-I went to work yesterday & additionally told him Im not the type to sleep w/ someone & not give a d*m, sorry for caring & having feelings. How cheesy was that!!! I get so tense I cant seem to say the right thing..im still labeled as 'the psycho girl'. Now, easily I could quit & never talk to him again, or I could not quit & still not talk to him ever again, but I much rather try to work it out...we work pretty close together so this has to get worked out...hes only 20 & im 24 what do you do??? yes I know it takes 2 to make it work out, but I definitly have to do my part with my chin up, confidence & self pulled together this time instead of balling my eyes out like before. I have to save my job, my image, my co-workers...back to good...when some-1 has chewed me up & spit me out. I feel soo much hurt right now!! HELP HELP HELP!!!

[Nic]

that is so good to hear nat!

 

i hope you can forget about him for good and put him behind you. with the attitude you have now, you will have someone 10 times better than him within your reach in no time!

i want to thank you guys for responding to this extreme difficult time I was going through...your words kept me strong & I was able to smile, hold my chin up high, not speak to him & rise above it all. best part is he knows it now! he cant stand seeing my beautiful smile everyday now at work, it eats at him & im loving it. Two of my co-workers remained honest & told him how immature he was! Time has healed a lot & thanks you guys for advising me in a direction I am ever so thankful for & didn't make a fool of myself, but came out shining! We are on speaking terms right now for the sake of goodness! THANKS!