jasn88cubs Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 well i stayed at my girlfriends last night and there's a guy she slept with before me who still texts her. she said that last week he texted her wanting her to come over to get together. she said she said no but for some reason her answers didnt match up so this morning she was getting ready for work and her phone was laying by me. now i don't wanna be that guy that can't trust his girlfriend because i do trust her but well i checked the texts and after he said "lets get together" she said " get at me when your single i of course flipped out. she was upset i looked through her phone which i understand but i couldnt believe she actually siad that to him. she said "did i cheat on you? no!" but i said "it sure made it seem like you wanted to" she said she understand i'm mad and that i should be upset with her i really don't know what to do should i talk it out with her or just dump her? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 well i stayed at my girlfriends last night and there's a guy she slept with before me who still texts her. she said that last week he texted her wanting her to come over to get together. she said she said no but for some reason her answers didnt match up so this morning she was getting ready for work and her phone was laying by me. now i don't wanna be that guy that can't trust his girlfriend because i do trust her but well i checked the texts and after he said "lets get together" she said " get at me when your single i of course flipped out. she was upset i looked through her phone which i understand but i couldnt believe she actually siad that to him. she said "did i cheat on you? no!" but i said "it sure made it seem like you wanted to" she said she understand i'm mad and that i should be upset with her i really don't know what to do should i talk it out with her or just dump her? You checked her private property!? What kind of boyfriend does that!? Nah. I'm just messing with you. Dump her. I bolded the above because it's a trait 93% of the daters on this website have when they think something is up but are too nervous to confirm it. They usually say, "I don't want to snoop or invade their privacy." And then the cheater says, "you invaded my privacy and found out about how I was risking exposing you to STDs and wasting your time and Blameshifting and gaslighting you!? How dare you!? Ironic, no. If she's telling this guy "green light as soon as you're single and my bf isn't looking" well, *ahem* that's cheating! Or "you know, I'll even wait until we are both single to screw you." that means she's already into screwing him much more than a relationship with you. So that means that you should ---- her. I'll let you fill in the blank there. Hint: It may be four letters but the word isn't a substitute for intercourse. If you can't trust her anymore (it's obvious) and you're in the dating stage, it's time to go find someone you can trust. I stop short of saying "YOLO" because I'm turning 31 next month and after you turn 30, highschool slang seems idiotic and makes you involuntarily throw up in your mouth. She should've had more respect for you then to be texting "Old Booty Call" there anyway. And she'll minimize it all to Hell and back. You'll see threads on here where a girl even claimed "it wasn't cheating because it was 'vanilla' sex." Yeah, because cinnamon would've crossed the line.... Uh-huh. When people cheat 99.3% of them get defensive coming up with 53 reasons why it's your fault. Another thread (from just the last couple days) is from another girl who cheated with a guy at a party because she felt "unloved" and now her exbf is "a jerk, obtuse and uncaring" for dumping her and refusing to take her back. Even after "he influenced her" to cheat. Please. If this girl wants to be "good time girl" you've got a problem just waiting to explode. Don't treat someone like a priority when they are treating you like an option. Stay on the sane page in a relationship, or end the relationship. You seem like a nice guy. There's no way you can't do better than this. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 there is nothing to talk out here. she sees you as the guy to pass the time until she finds another guy. don't let your heart come into play here. she's obviously already trying to line up other guys. get out now if you wanted this to be serious. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 It's certainly a weird way of answering to such a text. How old is she? Is she generally self-confident or more of an attention seeker? Maybe she's better off single for some time to figure out how much she really wants to be with you. So dumping her seems not so bad an idea. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 should i talk it out with her or just dump her? The way I see it your options are either 1) get emotionally committed so that when she cheats on you (she will no doubt about it) you'll feel really bad or 2) realize that she's not your girlfriend and just figure it's a booty-call situation until you meet someone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasn88cubs Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 It's certainly a weird way of answering to such a text. How old is she? Is she generally self-confident or more of an attention seeker? Maybe she's better off single for some time to figure out how much she really wants to be with you. So dumping her seems not so bad an idea. shes 19 also. i mean i told her "how would you feel if i said that to a girl" i mean she has told me shes happy with me, she has told me she loves me, her family thinks im great im just hurt 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 should i talk it out with her or just dump her? Dump her, but make sure she knows why. I would write more but dreamingoftigers wrote it all already. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 shes 19 Yeah, not a refined product yet. also. i mean i told her "how would you feel if i said that to a girl" i mean she has told me shes happy with me, she has told me she loves me, her family thinks im great Doesn't mean anything. Try to think like someone who wants to keep all options available. You'd also tell your girl she's the greatest, while secretly pursuing others. im just hurt Understandably, but the pain will fade. RS are like bikes. You fall off, bruise yourself, heal, get back on and try again. Sometimes you will have to switch the bike, esp if it can't be fixed. Life goes on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adele0908 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think you're overreacting and you shouldn't be going through her phone in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Yeah...if the only thing that holds her to cheat on you is the fact that the other guy has a girlfriend there is not much more to say about that right? You can either let her go or enjoy the ride while you can without getting too attached to her! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Yeah, not a refined product yet.... Hah! I like that... OP, this is what umirano means..... I usually term it as 'not fully cooked yet'..... It's worth bearing in mind. But she should still have moral handbrake that works adequately well.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think you're overreacting and you shouldn't be going through her phone in the first place. how is he overreacting? and wel already all know he shouldn't, even the OP, but he did. that is where we are right now, in the present. what respectful girlfriend would tell a guy who's asking for sex "msg me when you're single"?? none. he should either realize it's not a serious relationship and it's a fling, or get out now. he said it hurt him, which is normal, so he should get out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 shes 19 Okay makes more sense. Just 'enjoy the ride' but don't go planning the wedding anytime soon and don't be surprised when you hear about her making out with other guys or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasn88cubs Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 it was wrong for me to go through the phone. and if i would have found nothing i would have just felt stupid, instead she says that and says i can trust her? wow Link to post Share on other sites
GB25 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 and how old are you jason?? she's 19? well that explains a little btw i would dump in a heart beat. " get at me when your single" LOL AKA i will bang you very shortly...thats horrible, sorry u read that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zoden Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think you're overreacting and you shouldn't be going through her phone in the first place. What a moronic thing to say. The girl basically is asking for sex with another guy and he is overreacting? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Dump her, but make sure she knows why. I would write more but dreamingoftigers wrote it all already. You can put "YOLO" if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 You can put "YOLO" if you want. I heard someone use this phrase in a non-ironic way recently. I think I would rather have dragged my fingernails down a chalk board. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think you're overreacting and you shouldn't be going through her phone in the first place. ......... There's always one........ Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 ......... There's always one........ *there's always many tons of people line up other people while in relationships. as long as they aren't physically cheating, right? so it's natural those people would defend this type of behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think you're overreacting and you shouldn't be going through her phone in the first place. Sadly, the action is justified, by the fact his suspicions were confirmed. Three Aces trump two knaves.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 ......... There's always one........ I think that looking through someone else's phone is an invasion of privacy, but when you find what you were suspicious of it's retrospectively a legal search. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 *there's always many tons of people line up other people while in relationships. as long as they aren't physically cheating, right? so it's natural those people would defend this type of behaviour. I meant one defender of "the privacy" but not the "protect yourself from cheating gf" in these LS threads. And then sometimes the guys all get together and are like, "women they all blah blah blah.":sick: Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I think that looking through someone else's phone is an invasion of privacy, but when you find what you were suspicious of it's retrospectively a legal search. I think suspicion of cheating is greater than "privacy" in virtually every case. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 (edited) What a nasty girl. Thats a low thing for her to say and for u to have read. Believe her. She will screw other guys....... if theyre single. Pity she doesnt hold herself to the same standard. Classy! Seems she is waiting on this guy. When hes free.... yr toast. Dump and move on. Nothing to talk thru. Edited May 30, 2013 by Joaquin 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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