How do I deal with bully at work

[Fugu]

You've documented this, it would seem. I think you have two choices, and probably none of them are particularly good: find another job, or go to HR and see what happens. Keep in mind that a lot of times HR can make a problem worse, not better. However, they cannot legally tolerate a hostile work environment.

[Taramere]

Not too sure if I'll have a job when I get back. Unfortunately, I spent my other PTO wondering what she was saying about me in my absence. This just needs to stop.

 

Go and see a lawyer. See if you can extricate yourself from this messy place with a decent reference and severance package.

[pureinheart]

You shouldn't be subjected to something like that at work!

 

Talk to HR, it's their job to resolve things like this. Sexual harassment, HR, someone stealing in the office, HR, someone bullying you, HR. Talk to HR they will know what to do, they will prob ask you and your supervisors to go into a room and talk about it. Just hash it out, this is messing up your life at work, it's not supposed to be that way.

 

Unfortunately this is common these days:mad:

[pureinheart]

Since you can very rarely win situations like this my advice would be to punch her in the face as hard as you can then sue the company you work for because you injured your hand at work.

 

Its a win win

 

 

This is too funny:lmao::lmao: It's the way I should have handled certain things (not kidding).

[pureinheart]

I'm sure that you're kidding!

 

I'm not:)

 

After dealing with this so many times in the workplace, well...I have stories, a lot of them.

[kitty1]

• What to do if you are being bullied at work?
  
  • Keep a diary of all events - who was doing it, the method of bullying, times, dates, whereabouts, witnesses, provide and gather as much information as you can.
    
  • Have a word with your line manager and/or your supervisor
    
  • Remember you may not be the only one going through this
    
  • If your line manager and/or your supervisor is the bully, go higher, go to their supervisor and/or line manager.
    
  • If the bullying continues and it still hasn't been sorted out and nothing is being done to stop it, you have the right to take it further and go higher up, by talking to higher management, personnel and even HR (Human Resources) and persevere in speaking up till you are taken seriously, you are safe and it stops.
    
  • Tell your parents and your family what is happening to you.
    
  • Bullies are very good at making their victims into the perpetrator. i.e. they will say you are bullying them.
    
  • The bully will often get your colleagues to gang up against you even to the point where the management/bosses etc will believe the bully.
    
  • Be prepared to have to go outside of the company's and HR department's procedure and seek legal assistance.
    

  [*]Keep on speaking up. Remember you are not alone and THERE IS SOMEBODY THAT WILL LISTEN TO YOU, TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AND HELP YOU.

  • For nasty comments said to you - the best thing to do is to say nothing and walk away, or just use one-word replies e.g. yes or hmm to show that you are not interested in the bully's/bullies nonsense.
    
  • Carry on being yourself and carry on feeling good about yourself - Don't believe the rubbish they say and don't let them stop you being you.
    
  • If things are really bad don't be afraid to go to your doctor and take time off sick or have some annual leave.
    
  • Don't show that you are angry or upset. Don't give bullies the satisfaction, if you get angry/upset this will only up their ante.
    
  • Do not retaliate - It can throw things out of hand and you could end up being blamed instead of the bully.
    
    • -side note to above- from personal experience, follow the above about retaliating. not only do you end up being blamed as a trouble maker, but end up look like the bully yourself, due to the simple fact that most retaliation involves fighting fire with fire, and so in the end, you usually look no better than the one who is truly at fault.
      

    [*]women can be bullies too- just because they are female doesn't mean they can't be bullies, and remember, their victims can be and usually are men as well as women from day to day. they use this to their advantage. remember that, and to never, EVER retaliate with a female bully. if your a male, especially as they can flip that onto you faster than usain bolt on speed with an accelerator and jet engine attached to his feet...(yes im exaggerating it a little bit, but not as much as you may think.)

    [*]Remember you are not telling tales when you report bullying - You and everyone else has the right to be safe,happy treated fairly and free from any kind of bullying. Keep on speaking up till someone listens to you and takes you seriously.

    [*]Remember it is never your fault and bullying of any kind is wrong and there is no excuse what-so-ever!

    [*]also, it's not wrong to "not let it go". people who tell you to "just let it go" are typically bullies as well, or the bully themselves. bullies usually will group together to help their own. they may not say it, but they DO believe themselves to be justified in their actions, even though their actions are obviously a form of evil, and are wrong entirely.

    [*]NEVER let a bully get away with their behavior's. it's very much like the saying' "give an inch, take a mile". once you give in once, you will have to fight that much harder to regain lost ground the next time it happens. it's easiest to deal with bullying, THE MOMENT it happens. Bullies NEED to be put on the spot and especially red-handed. a bully given a chance to weasel their way out, WILL!

    [*]Remember bullies will minimize the matter or deny it because bullies are cunning and most bullies bully when no one in authority is around.

  [*]Think about the reaction. If it escalates, make sure you have a witness for any future action you might take. Most of all you are putting this person on immediate notice that you will not be treated this way and will not under any circumstances accept such behavior.

  [*]Patronising behaviour e.g. treating an adult as if they are a child/or they have low intelligence, doesn't work well, as well as talking in an condescending way. especially in front of others, as they will just attempt to do more damage later. this only works if ALL members involved do it to that person, but then you have essentially become the bully. avoid this if possible.

  • Beware malicious gossip and unkind remarks CAN be dressed up as jokes or banter. In truth they are NOT jokes and remember words DO hurt.
    
  • Having annual leave, off sick leave refused.
    
  • Discrimination/harassment/victimisation/prejudice of any kind, whether it be, racial, age, or medical condition, (e.g. treating someone unfairly and/or less favourably because of those things)are all forms of bullying as well.
    

Hope this helps, and remember you have had 4 promotions so you are doing something right. Sounds like you are a valuable employee to the company. You deserve to work in a hostile free work enviroment

[SweetiePie12]

Hope this helps, and remember you have had 4 promotions so you are doing something right. Sounds like you are a valuable employee to the company. You deserve to work in a hostile free work enviroment

 

Amen! And don't forget: bullies are liabilities -- literally -- to the company.

[Lamplight]

Thanks for all the replies! I appreciate it. Took all my PTO and was glad to have it. Went back to work and went out of my way to get stuff to her before she could hardly ask. This time around, she would pick something she didn't like and send out a mass email to the team about it. So I decided it's time to go. Let bitch do my job and hers and see how she likes it. Got my résumé ready, gaining a certification in a more male dominated field and using their EAP benefit to find out what steps I can take to avoid this at my job in future. Will be so glad when I'm out of there. Thanks again everyone.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

All you need is a rock and a sock