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Broke the two month barrier

WreckedDan

By WreckedDan
in Separation and Divorce

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debtman Established Member

debtman

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WD,

 

Always good to read other posts around here. Some give you hope for the future, some help you realize that it could be worse.

 

Hardest thing is dealing with the pain it causes to the kids, but, if you're there for her and available, she will be fine. It's amazing how quickly kids adjust and overcome. Certainly faster than we do.

 

I go back and read old posts and journal entries every so often and am amazed at how well they bounced back after all they went through.

 

Good analogy...but remember, there are LOTS of trees in the forest...and you don't need another one next to you in order to grow.

 

Go ahead and try meeting some people on the sites. I did, but, I made SURE to let them know that I was early in my separation and wasn't looking for a relationship, but was looking to make new friends to do things with and no telling what might happen from there.

 

More important for you right now to focus on yourself and establish your happiness as an individual.

 

Good luck and keep posting. Blue skies.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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So.. somewhere along the way I grew a pair. Filled out the initial divorce papers, and told the wife we can meet to get them notorized Friday. She texted back "Okay... Wow." I said "wow what, this is the easy part." She said " It's still not easy..." wtf?

 

She left me... this is what she wanted, she's been boning a douche bag... honestly things are getting far easier for me... wish I could read that woman's mind for 5 minutes...

 

Once I get the papers signed I just have to make the time to take them in and file them. Then the next three months will suck waiting for it to be final and dealing with her getting the parenting plan set up... dreading that.

 

Thanks guys,

Dan

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marqueemoon4 Established Member

marqueemoon4

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Good work Dan... stay strong buddy!

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debtman Established Member

debtman

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Good job WD!! You're doing the right thing. Make it real for her, she made it real for you...

 

You're one step closer to letting go and starting over.

 

Good luck and keep posting...blue skies.

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aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

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There is nothing that ends a fairytale quicker then seeing everything on paper. Filing for divorce is as real as any heart attack, once you file you now have the power and authority of the Courts involved, it's no longer just them against you. Stay strong because things will be changing quickly, you just closed her bakery.

Edited by aliveagain
spelling
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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Spent last night with a beautiful woman. I'm hung over, tired as hell and sore.. Life just keeps getting better! Wonder if this roller coaster is gonna crash soon...

 

Smilin,

Dan

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hayewils Established Member

hayewils

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Spent last night with a beautiful woman. I'm hung over, tired as hell and sore.. Life just keeps getting better! Wonder if this roller coaster is gonna crash soon...

 

Smilin,

Dan

 

Dan,

You just took that rollercoaster and drove it right of a cliff!

Your on your way. Beautiful woman? Hungover and sore?

You are miles down the road from where we were 3 months ago,

Your moving on! Congrats to you and smile at being sore.

No pain, no gain! Time to change your name from wreckeddan to smilingdan!!

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worldgonewrong Established Member

worldgonewrong

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WD: These updates make me happy as hell for you, buddy! KEEP STRONG! You're doing terrific. don't doubt yourself for a second.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Yay! Thanks guy,

 

Two nights in a row with an insaitable 26 year old and still goin strong! Now I get my weekend with my kiddo and have lots of plans to have a great time with her!

 

One drawback wife is having a late day so not going to have time to sign papers until next week now but I so don't care.... life is good!

 

Tangent, this girl is perfect for my situaion, no interest in meeting the kiddo, her days off are my days with out my daughter, and she is a late night person so we hang out after I get off work... feeling some freaking karmic luck here...

 

Laughin,

Dan

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worldgonewrong Established Member

worldgonewrong

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Just guard your heart a little bit, Dan. Don't want you to get hurt in a 'rebound' situation.

worldgonewrong Established Member

worldgonewrong

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you just closed her bakery.

 

This cracked me the hell up! :laugh:

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Yeah, we already agreed that if either of us start having feelings for eachother that we make it clear and likely end things on a high note.

 

I've always been a serial monogomist, and I have no interest with playing the field, but having a weekly friend... words can not express how liberating this feels...

 

Did I mention this girl is a complete upgrade in every aspect? I admit I enjoyed the attachment and the security of mariage... but that was obviously all an illusion anyways. Why noy just have an honest light hearted adventure?

 

Dan

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aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

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Nice to know you can still ride a bike. Wait until your STBX finds out another woman has interest in you, she may not be as nice, be careful.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Bah, none of her damn business as far as I'm concerned. Funn thing happened today though, my friend had to leave early for an apointment like 8 am, so I fell back asleep. The STBX showed up at like 11 to drop off the kiddo, first time she actally got out of the car... I didn't even know they were there... could have been bad. Just made me grin. Daughter was super excited to see me, I just waved at the ex and started playin with my girl :)

Dan

hayewils Established Member

hayewils

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Yeah, we already agreed that if either of us start having feelings for eachother that we make it clear and likely end things on a high note.

 

I've always been a serial monogomist, and I have no interest with playing the field, but having a weekly friend... words can not express how liberating this feels...

 

Did I mention this girl is a complete upgrade in every aspect? I admit I enjoyed the attachment and the security of mariage... but that was obviously all an illusion anyways. Why noy just have an honest light hearted adventure?

 

Dan

These two parts really stood out to me.. I have always enjoyed being married. I love the commitment to that one person in my life..

I have also heard many times.. when heartbreak enters our life, there is someone better out there, and men tend to trade up...

Weird but at the same time, sounds so true.. I hope to find someone better one day, just gonna take a little time for me.. but I will get there, and her.. :D

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hayewils Established Member

hayewils

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Right now my whole focus is on a new job, get me closer to home.

Its an opportunity that will give me a whole lot of interaction with a lot of people. It will take me from town to town.

I'm hoping the best. Have an interview Monday morning..

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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No question about it. Sounds strange but the oportunity had been there for quite a while, I was just on auto pilot ignoring other women, so I just wasn't open to the idea.. as soon as my life started to settle some things became clear and was I suprised! I have a great friend that just kept telling me that there were a bunch of people interested... it opened my eyes a bit then everything just started coming together. I wish my friends could know the depth of gratitude I feel... and that includes the LS community. Without all that support I never would have made it past month one.

 

Clouds can't block my sunshine today,

Dan

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xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

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Hey Dan, I followed your old thread and having just recently read your updates, I have to say I'm very happy for you. Keep up the positive attitude iand enjoy your new found adventures. Your situation is the very definition of good things happening to good people.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Thank you,

I'm fairly certain this is only temporary but it feels damn good... in the last two days I've been getting some fairly positive remarks from a few others as well, but I'm perfectly happy to just say thanks smile and keep living forward. I wish I could share this perspective in a way that would enlighten others who have yet to catch up, because I KNOW how much the bad times suck!

 

Life is a tredmill, it just keeps rolling. When you fall down it hurts like a son of a bitch, and it's hard as hell to get back up when it keeps trying to move out from under you. But once you get your feet back on it, and get your pace back, every step makes you stronger.

 

*Hugs LS*

Dan

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debtman Established Member

debtman

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WD,

 

In the long run, everything is only temporary, just a matter of enjoying the moment while you've got it.

 

Funny how everything is about perspective...just a matter of changing it sometimes.

 

Keep it up! (pardon the pun) ;)

 

Good luck and keep posting!

 

Blue skies!

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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So after I dropped my kiddo of with the ex? Stbx? Tramp? Hmm.. gonna have to think more on that.. anyways after I dropped off my little one, I started getting texts from the... see above. First it was normal, about our daughter, something fun she did or something, then it started turning into movies or something, couple of lame jokes... I just said "We got an amazing kid" and didn'trespond any more.. lol, this letting go business is wicked awesome :) doesn't hurt that I won't be solo when I get home!

 

Cheers LS

Dan

 

Ps.. anyone reading this who is in the middle of hell, and yeah, been there, wanted to die... it goes away. Can't really say it gets better... but it fades or just thins until when you look at it, it is less... hard to explain. Good things replace the old.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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So after work I go drive for freakin ever to pick up the kiddo as I do every Friday.. and I start getting all melencholy... wtf?

 

My life is about 85% how I want it to be right now, kid time rocks, having a fun time with a new friend, have mostly let go of the ... hmm jist gonna go with stbx...

 

But, my mood just slid.. like slowly. Gotta be a hormone or something right... logic can't explain it.

 

There's always tomorrow I guess,

Dan

RonaldS Established Member

RonaldS

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Dan, nothing unusual about that. You've got a long way to go, and even once you get there, there's a good chance you won't be the same person you were before or during your marriage.

 

These little slumps are normal. The key is how you are trending. Think of your feelings and moods as a stock. A good stock will rise and fall in value, but it's overall value increases despite temporary dips.

 

In life, we should never get too high on the highs or too low on the lows.

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WreckedDan Established Member

WreckedDan

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Well... a few small things happened through yesterday that I think caused it.

 

First,the stbx had created a new facebook with her maiden name then tried to add me as a friend... wtf? Just ignored it... where is the f*ck no button?

Second, some dynamics changed with me being able to spend time with my new friend so it felt disrupted... sucks but we still groovy.

Third, I have been letting my sleep go a bit in order to have more time with the kiddo and (seperately) with my new friend..

 

Today, while.mowing the lawn I broke down a bit.. then got a text from my new friend that made me feel a lot better.

 

Keep on rollin,

Dan

hayewils Established Member

hayewils

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Hey Dan,

Good to hear your ok.

You know I had to respond cause of what you said about your ex changing her last name on facebook.

My STBXW did the same thing although she blocked me and removed all family.

I realize today that she wasn't in love with me and I do have a hard time dealing with just that. ive bee having a rough day yesterday and today with things after a couple of weeks feeling really good.

What ive been dealing with is, how we can meet someone who we, (I) felt like she was my soulmate. Weve all heard about love at first sight, With my ex, there was a very strong attraction to her that just pulled me to her.

Its like it was meant to be is how I felt, I thought it was forever, that's what we all hoped and expected. Today ive been dealing with this shut down emotion of ever feeling I can love again. I want to hope that's not true, but I am afraid right now. I was with some good friends last night and we had the conversation of dating and meeting someone again. I told them I don't ever feel or see that happening again. They told me I shouldn't allow my heart to become enclosed. I haven't allowed my heart to become enclosed, my ex put it there for me. My heart has truly been broken and I don't ever feel I can do it again. But knowing you have made it to that point, that you have a new friend.. that's what does give me hope that I can one day over come what I am dealing with

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