I made a big mistake!!! Any hope ???

[Don]

I don’t post here often but I when I do, I am in real need of advice. I’ve started dating this girl from work and gotten pretty close quite quickly. I have a high resolution digital camera and I pressured her into posing for me in the nude. She was really against the idea at first, but I assured her no one would ever see them. She reluctantly agreed to let me take one nude picture but only after I swore it would be for my eyes only. Well I made a dreadful mistake that sort of breached the privacy I promised. I was sending out a mass email at work and the file I intended to attach was in the same directory as this nude picture of my girlfriend. Well I’ll spare you the explanation of how I got mixed up, but what it came down to, I attached her picture instead of the intended file and sent it out to the entire division. Once I realized my mistake, it was too late, for it had gone out to hundreds of fellow employees including my girlfriend and her co-workers. I didn’t know how to retrieve an email so I followed it up with an email explaining that I had made a mistake in my prior mail and attached a personal picture which I prefer people delete without viewing. Perhaps that made matters worse for it seemed to spark everyone’s curiosity. People who normally delete these mass emails without reading them wanted to see what this was all about. To say my girlfriend was upset would be an understatement. Is there anything I could do to make it up to her?

 

Don

[Tony T]

THE ORIGINAL POST IS REPRINTED AT THE END OF MY REPLY, IN CASE IT IS REMOVED.

 

Even if you disappeared off the face of the earth, that wouldn't make up for it. Tell me you made this up...please!!!

 

You will be very lucky if this gal doesn't get an attorney and sue you for the ridicule and embarassment she has been subjected to. I can't even imagine just how humiliated she must feel. Her nude picture in your hard drive, uh?

 

I know you feel really really bad too. Mistakes do happen but when you make them, I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty.

 

To make matters worse, most people she will talk to will tell her it was intentional. That is because you have to be totally lame to put such a file even remotely close to files you may send as Email attachments. You also have to be a bit wacko to mistakenly attach a photo of such a sensitive nature to Email designated for the entire office. You've got to be totally nuts to store this in your company computer...I'm sure there's a policy against putting pictures of naked co-workers in company computers.

 

Well, you don't have to worry about one thing. This gal won't be going out with you anymore. There isn't a thing you can say to get yourself out of this one. Hey, I'm pretty good at getting myself out of jams...but this problem is one God could have never anticipated. Flowers and candy won't do it. Perhaps a few million dollars would probably go a long way to easing her pain if you can spare it.

 

Since you were on work time and sent this as part of work Email, your company's insurance company will probably end up paying the part of the claim you are unable to. The statute of limitations for her to sue is two years and you can bet someone will advise her to do so in that period of time. I am surprised you are still employed there.

 

Oh, yes, you were asking for advice....wow. Yes, sorry. Make it up to her? Uuummm....Let's see????? Well, short of giving her the few million bucks...you could keep yourself out of her face....you could wash her car every day....you could cook her dinner every evening....you could iron all her clothes for the rest of her life....you could fill her car with gas once a week....You can go to church and pray this story doesn't get out to the newspapers and wire services.....you could give her a $5,000 gift certificate to her favorite mall....you could soak your camera in concentrated hydrochloric acid....you could soak your computer in the same acid bath....you could pose nude for her and give her a written release to send it to the entire office in a mail attachment....you could call the Norton people and have the next big Internet virus named after her....but I really don't think a plain vanilla apology is going to work in this particular case.

 

I have to tell you, there have been some awful problems posted here but this is the most difficult!!! I mean a guy could cheat on his wife 50 times and be better off than sending a ladies nude pic out to her co-workers. Wow...how do you make it up to her?

 

Well, here...uh, if somebody did the same thing to you, what would it take you to get over it? What could the guilty party do for you to make you feel better about something like that? Maybe that's the key here.

 

Don, I wouldn't want to be you for anything in the world...and, even more, I wouldn't want to be your ex girlfriend from work.

 

One good thing has come out of this. I have another reason for advising people not to date people they work with.

 

I AM REPRINTING THE POST BELOW IN CASE IT IS REMOVED BY DON, WHO POSTED IT, BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD THEM:

 

"I don't post here often but I when I do, I am in real need of advice. I've started dating this girl from work and gotten pretty close quite quickly. I have a high resolution digital camera and I pressured her into posing for me in the nude. She was really against the idea at first, but I assured her no one would ever see them. She reluctantly agreed to let me take one nude picture but only after I swore it would be for my eyes only. Well I made a dreadful mistake that sort of breached the privacy I promised. I was sending out a mass email at work and the file I intended to attach was in the same directory as this nude picture of my girlfriend. Well I'll spare you the explanation of how I got mixed up, but what it came down to, I attached her picture instead of the intended file and sent it out to the entire division. Once I realized my mistake, it was too late, for it had gone out to hundreds of fellow employees including my girlfriend and her co-workers. I didn't know how to retrieve an email so I followed it up with an email explaining that I had made a mistake in my prior mail and attached a personal picture which I prefer people delete without viewing. Perhaps that made matters worse for it seemed to spark everyone's curiosity. People who normally delete these mass emails without reading them wanted to see what this was all about. To say my girlfriend was upset would be an understatement. Is there anything I could do to make it up to her?"

 

Don

[Tony T]

I don't think so.

[sparkle]

Don,

 

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

THAT IS THE CRAZIEST THING I HAVE HEARD!

 

I don't want to ruin any hope you have, but I REALLY don't think there is anything that you can do now to make it up to her.

 

By the way, where do you work??

I don't post here often but I when I do, I am in real need of advice. I've started dating this girl from work and gotten pretty close quite quickly. I have a high resolution digital camera and I pressured her into posing for me in the nude. She was really against the idea at first, but I assured her no one would ever see them. She reluctantly agreed to let me take one nude picture but only after I swore it would be for my eyes only. Well I made a dreadful mistake that sort of breached the privacy I promised. I was sending out a mass email at work and the file I intended to attach was in the same directory as this nude picture of my girlfriend. Well I'll spare you the explanation of how I got mixed up, but what it came down to, I attached her picture instead of the intended file and sent it out to the entire division. Once I realized my mistake, it was too late, for it had gone out to hundreds of fellow employees including my girlfriend and her co-workers. I didn't know how to retrieve an email so I followed it up with an email explaining that I had made a mistake in my prior mail and attached a personal picture which I prefer people delete without viewing. Perhaps that made matters worse for it seemed to spark everyone's curiosity. People who normally delete these mass emails without reading them wanted to see what this was all about. To say my girlfriend was upset would be an understatement. Is there anything I could do to make it up to her? Don

[MNK]

pretty much beg for forgiveness. it obviously isnt something you can take back so youll just have to wait until she has forgiven you.

 

MNK

[Taressa]

Oh, I hope to God that this is a prank post.

 

Honestly, I see little hope for healing this. You can't make it up to her.

 

You pressured her into doing something she didn't want and then by your carelessness you bring her worst fear to fruition... That's among the worst things you could do to a woman - - or to an enemy.

 

The best advice I can offer is to apologize, gently state your love for her, then shut your mouth and wait for her to make her move. Perhaps she'll have a forgiving heart.

 

Please, never pressure a woman again. And please, stop saving personal files among your business files. If you must continue, perhaps look into that password protection some programs allow on files.

 

Best wishes.

[Deejette]

Nope, you blew it, big time. She was an idiot to let you pressure her into the nude picture and you were an idiot to do what you did. Together, that spells NO HOPE for this "relationship."

 

A friend of mine was seeing a guy from work and he (unknown to her) was video taping their "first night" in bed. He made copies of it and gave her one, thinking it was a nice gift. She, of course, was furious that he did this behind her back and is still living in terror that he is showing it to his work buddies.

 

I too agree with Tony, dating at work can have complications that effect our very livelihood, and therefore it is not the best venue for dating.

I don't post here often but I when I do, I am in real need of advice. I've started dating this girl from work and gotten pretty close quite quickly. I have a high resolution digital camera and I pressured her into posing for me in the nude. She was really against the idea at first, but I assured her no one would ever see them. She reluctantly agreed to let me take one nude picture but only after I swore it would be for my eyes only. Well I made a dreadful mistake that sort of breached the privacy I promised. I was sending out a mass email at work and the file I intended to attach was in the same directory as this nude picture of my girlfriend. Well I'll spare you the explanation of how I got mixed up, but what it came down to, I attached her picture instead of the intended file and sent it out to the entire division. Once I realized my mistake, it was too late, for it had gone out to hundreds of fellow employees including my girlfriend and her co-workers. I didn't know how to retrieve an email so I followed it up with an email explaining that I had made a mistake in my prior mail and attached a personal picture which I prefer people delete without viewing. Perhaps that made matters worse for it seemed to spark everyone's curiosity. People who normally delete these mass emails without reading them wanted to see what this was all about. To say my girlfriend was upset would be an understatement. Is there anything I could do to make it up to her? Don

[Rogue]

Hmm.This is a toughie.Ok,try some of these suggestions.

 

1)Beg for forgiveness

 

2) Make a photo of yourself.Cut the head off and paste it on the photo of a jack ass.Then mass e-mail it,with a title "I'm a fool.Please forgive me ".The more embarassing the better. Make a public proclamation of what a fool you were and how innocent she was in all this. It will make her feel better anyways. This options requires a lot of guts,but you do want to win her back right? Only a bigger embarassment can erase her bad experience in the minds of your coworkers,and if you make yourself the butt of the joke then you take pressure off her.It sounds really stupid,but think for a second.

 

What makes her pain so bad right now isn't just the dirty looks she'll get at the office.It's also your lack of care and respect for her for letting the mistake happen in the first place. There's a sense of betrayal,a lost of trust involved.Now what do you think can restore some of that trust back? Answer:Your willingness to shoulder the brunt of the criticism for her,to share in her humiliation. If it means eating humble pie,if it means being made fun of on her account then, do it.If you can show her you are ready to be humiliated for her sake,that you are ready to suffer

 

so that she could have a little dignity back,then she might just soften up a little. If she sees you getting hurt in public to win her back,it will be easier for her to realize that it was a stupid mistake.

 

Anyways,I think it's worth a shot.If someone can think of something better,then forget what I said. All I'm trying to say is that you can sometimes show your love for someone by sharing in their bad experiences and stepping in their shoes for a bit. If you think being embarrassed in public is too much of a price to pay for a relationship,then what do you expect her to think? If you're not man enough to pay the price of your mistake then why should she pay for it?

[Vikki]

Hiya Don,

 

Well that was about as kind as gravel in peanut butter, but you know that so I wont rub your face in it.

 

Hope you keep us posted on this one, will be very interesting to hear what happened.

 

Personally I'd break your knee caps (or hire someone to do it - no actually I'd get more satisfaction from doing it myself LOL) I really think that's unforgivable, really there's just no way you could forgive someone of being SO careless. Oh the embarrasment for the poor girl, she'll probably have to quit and move on to another job. You've really &*%$ed up there.

 

Warm Hugs Anyway!

[PH]

Well there really is no hope that you get forgiven on this I'm afraid. At least not in terms of continuing a relationship with her that's for sure. The only consolation for you and her is that people DO do much worse things to each other, every day somewhere in the world. You can't actually say that to her of course, but it is worth keeping it in mind as you will have to forgive yourself at some point. Hopefully in time she'll take that point of view too.

 

A short, to the point, personal, face to face apology to her, her boss and possibly her co-workers should save her some respect with them. NOT quite as hard as it sounds because in my scheme of things you're not going to be working with them any more. IE It's a resigning matter. That way you clearly show everyone that you are truely sorry and you accept the blame. It's also better than being fired, and most likely your mistake won't be mentioned in any references your employers need to provide in future.

 

BTW all this is just what I would do. Does the fact that I'm English have something to do with it?? I'm not at all sure if it's going to be best if there is a chance of litigation. Perhaps a word with the company legal dept would be a good idea?

 

Good Luck and thanks for sharing?!

 

Pete