BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Well I guess a good looking guy will be more likely to cheat because there is more temptation. A less good looking guy will have less temptation. Therefore the good looking guy has to have much stronger morals than the less good looking guy, i.e. to be able to resist to temptation multiple times. But yes, cheating in general has to do with morals. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Well I guess a good looking guy will be more likely to cheat because there is more temptation. A less good looking guy will have less temptation. Therefore the good looking guy has to have much stronger morals than the less good looking guy, i.e. to be able to resist to temptation multiple times. But yes, cheating in general has to do with morals. And the lady get the prize!! :bunny: It is as simple as that Link to post Share on other sites
daisybuchanan55 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yes, of course it's about morals. The problem is actors and athletes have SO MANY options, so much temptation AND are in fields that inflate their egos and make them believe they are gods amongst humans. It's like putting a child at a table full of candy and telling him to only eat the M&Ms. No matter how good those taste, they are going to want to try all the different types of candy. It's not that all actors and athletes are bad people. It's just that their fields are so saturated with temptation. It takes a very strong person to resist all the that. And no, the girls the end up marrying are never "spectacular mothers" who look less than fabulous. They are 9/10 times empty-headed supermodels. Whoever said the thing about control was right. I will NEVER FORGET what my ex (an athlete said) to me once... "There is only room for one chief in this relationship. Someone has to be the indian." Guess what he considered himself? And btw, he is now living with a trust fund baby who has never held a job in her life and is, for all I know, content being a professional yoga-goer and socialite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 No no, that's generally what you want once you're older, vast amounts of women who espouse your views would happily go all out for the right ( read: very desirable ) man without any promise of commitment. I guess it's true that a lot of women do that, and this is why therythm has multiple women and options available. And, some of the women, like the men, know that sleeping with a hot guy who is clearly not gonna commit is just that: hot sex and some of them just enjoy it for their own sexual pleasure. If they expect to be something else, oh well....stupid. Ninjapajamas always points this out. But if, on the other hand, a woman wants a man for a LTR, she has too look for much more than just hot/desirable. And I'm a bit rusty on the sex front, my ex husband and I slept together after 1year of waiting (he left me once during that year, for two weeks, for not having sex) and never seemed to have a problem with compatibility. I don't even know how big of a problem "sexual compatibility is" (I see it is brought up frequently), but it seems that it is one more issue to add to the multiple complications of dating in the hook up culture of today. How incompatible someone can be? Maybe vanilla versus kinky or something like that...(???). Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I guess it's true that a lot of women do that, and this is why therythm has multiple women and options available. And, some of the women, like the men, know that sleeping with a hot guy who is clearly not gonna commit is just that: hot sex and some of them just enjoy it for their own sexual pleasure. If they expect to be something else, oh well....stupid. Ninjapajamas always points this out. But if, on the other hand, a woman wants a man for a LTR, she has too look for much more than just hot/desirable. And I'm a bit rusty on the sex front, my ex husband and I slept together after 1year of waiting (he left me once during that year, for two weeks, for not having sex) and never seemed to have a problem with compatibility. I don't even know how big of a problem "sexual compatibility is" (I see it is brought up frequently), but it seems that it is one more issue to add to the multiple complications of dating in the hook up culture of today. How incompatible someone can be? Maybe vanilla versus kinky or something like that...(???). Sex compatibility is a huge issue, and is not a new issue either. Many people married in the old times without having ever had sex and many complications came from there (believe me if I tell you I know of first hand). I have had sex with women that was boring and very unsatisfactory, not only for the kinky factor (that is important), but for stamina, passivity, initiative, and the most important one " CHEMISTRY"!!! Life is too short to indulge bad sex! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Very easily, I have a very high sex drive. If you couldn't really care less about sex we're never, ever going to work out. Sure, at first maybe you'd go along with it to please me but eventually we'd both be miserable. Yeah, libido is also a very important one but you won't find that the first times you have sex, that is something you only find out in the mid long term 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I guess because I didn't have a large number of partners and I hear about this "sexual compatibility" thing, it kinda worries me. I'd like someone to elaborate on the "sexual compatibility" issue, what does that mean? How often is "sexual incompatibility" encountered, whatever that means. In my mind sex is simple, unless there is a difference in libido or one is way kinkier than the other, I would think it's not such a big issue. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Sex compatibility is a huge issue, and is not a new issue either. Many people married in the old times without having ever had sex and many complications came from there (believe me if I tell you I know of first hand). I have had sex with women that was boring and very unsatisfactory, not only for the kinky factor (that is important), but for stamina, passivity, initiative, and the most important one " CHEMISTRY"!!! Life is too short to indulge bad sex! OK, I guess I posted before reading this. So frequency and preferences, stamina etc. I think I was lucky with my ex husband, although he waited 1yr for sex (left me once for two weeks for not having it) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I guess because I didn't have a large number of partners and I hear about this "sexual compatibility" thing, it kinda worries me. I'd like someone to elaborate on the "sexual compatibility" issue, what does that mean? How often is "sexual incompatibility" encountered, whatever that means. In my mind sex is simple, unless there is a difference in libido or one is way kinkier than the other, I would think it's not such a big issue. I have already explained it in the quoted bellow.. Sex compatibility is a huge issue, and is not a new issue either. Many people married in the old times without having ever had sex and many complications came from there (believe me if I tell you I know of first hand). I have had sex with women that was boring and very unsatisfactory, not only for the kinky factor (that is important), but for stamina, passivity, initiative, and the most important one " CHEMISTRY"!!! Life is too short to indulge bad sex! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 OK, I guess I posted before reading this. So frequency and preferences, stamina etc. I think I was lucky with my ex husband, although he waited 1yr for sex (left me once for two weeks for not having it) If you read a bit in this link you can find a good example of sexual incompatibility.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/397313-dirty-talk-feels-degrading Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 If you read a bit in this link you can find a good example of sexual incompatibility.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/397313-dirty-talk-feels-degrading I read that, yes. I even answered. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 How incompatible someone can be? Maybe vanilla versus kinky or something like that...(???). The importance of sexual compatibility is way underrated. Yes sex isn't everything, but it's a method for 2 people to really bond. I was married for 12 years, and 2 kids with a woman who was so sexually incompatible that it was horrible. I dreaded sex with her. It didn't feel good. It felt unnatural and awkward. When we first got married I was 23, and I thought things would get better once we did it more often. It got worse, and I eventually stopped wanting sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I read that, yes. I even answered. Well then there you see how two persons should not enter in a relationship before they know that they are actually totally compatible (that also includes sex) before anyone gets hurt! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 The importance of sexual compatibility is way underrated. Yes sex isn't everything, but it's a method for 2 people to really bond. I was married for 12 years, and 2 kids with a woman who was so sexually incompatible that it was horrible. I dreaded sex with her. It didn't feel good. It felt unnatural and awkward. When we first got married I was 23, and I thought things would get better once we did it more often. It got worse, and I eventually stopped wanting sex. Wow, got it, that must suck. I always felt my 20yrs relationship/marriage was built a lot on sex. We continued to have sex for 3 years after the divorce as well (that's the real reason I didn't date until this year). So I thought it was easy. Now I'm worried. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Well then there you see how two persons should not enter in a relationship before they know that they are actually totally compatible (that also includes sex) before anyone gets hurt! Yes, I see your point.However, for me still, I'd be more uninhibitted if I felt comfortable with a man and feel safe. I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone at the first date or very early on. So I still think it's bertter to wait until both are comfortable and the lady feels safe that you'll call the next day. Yes, it is a risk and an investment, but it's just one or two months, not a year. And I think it is worth it, for the right person. Oh well... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yes, I see your point.However, for me still, I'd be more uninhibitted if I felt comfortable with a man and feel safe. I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone at the first date or very early on. So I still think it's bertter to wait until both are comfortable and the lady feels safe that you'll call the next day. Yes, it is a risk and an investment, but it's just one or two months, not a year. And I think it is worth it, for the right person. Oh well... What I always say is that everyone should just chill and see how things goes, having plans before hand in a date won't help you, you will look unnatural and that is very unattractive. I never force myself into anyone if I feel the vibe is ok I get more intimate if I feel the lady is not comfortable I give her space... everyone is different... but just having a rule to wait to have sex just to catch a guy is plain wrong... people should listen much more to their nature... our bodies are the most perfect machine ever created! Link to post Share on other sites
Tallblueyed Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Excellent thread - I haven't been on this site for a very long time (+6 months) It surprises me to read that so many women can wait so long before having sex with someone they are interested in. I have been single for about a year; and in that time I have realized that woman often treat sex the same as many men. Most women that I have been with pursue and make it sexual. And I did not view any of them as being "trashy" for sleeping with me within a week (or less); in fact, when it was good sex I felt a much stronger pull to invest more with them. A good sexual connection is vital for me in order to continue towards a committed relationship. I am happy to go out on several dates before it turns sexual, but in my experiences that doesn't seem to take long. I believe in taking a natural course. Most of the women that I date state that they feel extremely safe and comfortable with me - even stating that they are wanting/willing to have sex 'sooner than normal' at the risk of me not calling them again. And I am extremely open and honest when the relationship doesn't appear to be something that I want to pursue. And every girl I have been with in the last year would consider me a good guy and I am still friends with many of them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I don't entirely agree, you can start weeding people out very quickly. If she can go over ~3 dates without us ending up having sex it means at least one of the following three*: - She's not that into me. - She's not as passionate as I am. - She's looking to force commitment through gameplaying. *Virgins excluded. That is totally true but has only a 30% to do with libido Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 True, but why would one want to continue dating the other two? Even if you are looking for commitment if you allow her to play games once you're in for a world of hurt in the long term. Don't look at me, I 100% back you logic! Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I don't entirely agree, you can start weeding people out very quickly. If she can go over ~3 dates without us ending up having sex it means at least one of the following three*: - She's not that into me. - She's not as passionate as I am. - She's looking to force commitment through gameplaying. *Virgins excluded. Still, if you were really into her, and in a good place for commitment in general, you'd wait, wouldn't be worried about "game playing". But I withdraw from the discussion, we're going back in circles. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Yes, that's the thing. I am a strong woman. I need a man that's humble and will make me his is princess. He will be well rewarded, and I will make him my king, but that's what I need. That is why I often have difficulty dating Type A men. I've had two potential relationships blow up in the last couple of years because they presented their arrogant, self-centered *ssholes to me. When that happens, I let them know by word, deed, or look, "f*ck you". I guess you can see what kind of men they are pretty quickly. I can gauge that kind of thing within 2 meetings at most. So I guess don't get involved with one of those you don't think you'd be compatible with from this point of view. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 It is still a conflict (at least in my case) as I will never give commitment or exclusivity until I have had sex with that woman, sexual compatibility is of really importance for me as I am a very sexual person and I would not like to enter in a relationship to find out that we are not compatible and have to take all the difficult decisions from there when I am already too invested. You forget that women who prefer to wait are invested too. This is a common theme among the men who push for early sex. They take the time and effort of the women they are involved with for granted. These are not good men to be invested in long term. Men who expect early sex just think the woman should take all the risk while they take little or none. That is... if she is looking for a relationship. She has no good reason to simply take his word for it. That would be stupid and foolish unless she knows him in some other context where his trustworthiness can be validated. It has nothing to do with game playing. It has everything to do with determining if he is who he says he is... and wants what he says he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 If you do everything but sex what is your motivation? Just a rubber stamp that you're a "virgin"? This. Might as well use a rubber then claim his penis never touched you if you are going to do other things of a sexual nature. sexual contact is sexual contact. You aint wholesome anymore if you've taken a shot in the back of the throat. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 You forget that women who prefer to wait are invested too. This is a common theme among the men who push for early sex. They take the time and effort of the women they are involved with for granted. These are not good men to be invested in long term. Men who expect early sex just think the woman should take all the risk while they take little or none. That is... if she is looking for a relationship. She has no good reason to simply take his word for it. That would be stupid and foolish unless she knows him in some other context where his trustworthiness can be validated. It has nothing to do with game playing. It has everything to do with determining if he is who he says he is... and wants what he says he wants. Tell that to all the frienzoned guys in the world who were dating a woman for months to end up seeing how their chances blow up after months of investment... that has never happened to me and it won't happen! I have no issue with waiting for a woman if she needs time as long as it is clearly understood that we are not exclusive yet and I can get sex if I want it from other sources... Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Not even sure how to reply as I've never had to "wait" for sex. The first time I had sex was within a week or two after getting my first kiss and I actually had to fight the girl off of me when she tried to rape me because I was afraid of getting her pregnant. I dunno...I guess I'm a huge advocate of chemistry and passion...if it's not there, I don't really feel a need to go any further. Most of the girls I've been with...we had sex either on the first date or there was some very strong sexual contact within the first 3 dates and the only reason why we didn't have sex right away was because there no opportune place to. If I've gone out on a handful of dates with a girl and there's no sex or no sign of anything leading to sex, it doesn't go any further. NOT because of the lack of sex...but because of the lack of chemistry...if that makes sense. I would never EVER pressure someone for sex. Hope that makes sense. When you've been with the same person as long as I have (nearly 14 years) you will understand how absolutely vital sexual chemistry is. My wife and I had sex within HOURS of hanging out for the first time (wasn't even a date). I mean she tore me apart...she needed me like I was oxygen and the same for me. Still to this day, the chemistry and passion has not subsided one bit. When it comes down to it...it's not about sex, or waiting, or how many dates....or any of that. It comes down to physical and sexual chemistry and that's not something you can build or create...it's either there right from the getgo, or it isn't, imo. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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