My LDR story and ending.

[Omei]

It's been a very long time since I have been here.

I used to come here often when things in my LFR were very rocky with constant break ups.

 

My SO has now broken up with me after 5 years of LD, I am now 1 month into the break up, while we had breakups often would only last a day or 2 this is my story.

 

I met my ex on World of Warcraft 5 years ago at and fell in love the first few months were amazing we met after 9 months for 2 weeks (I paid) for the trip and I was so happy so was he. I was 22 I am now 26, he has always been 4 years younger and lives at home with his 3 siblings and parents. I am now 26. We did EVERYTHING on cam we spent our whole LDR on cam we played, watched movies, slept, EVERYTHING unless one of us had to go out...He was there all the time everyday every moment while I was at home at least for 5 years and I was so happy.

 

Everything was great but after 2 years big huge fights started happening when I felt it was unfair and I felt very unloved when my SO never help paid, I paid for trips for years eventually he got a job and started paying for trips. When we did trips it was amazing we were happy. One time he came to live with me for 3 months, and I was going through troubles I was losing my home and I have a child from previous relationship and with all my stress most of the trip we fought, there was an instance where I asked him to take a walk so we wouldn't fight in front of my daughter because the yelling would just not stop! we couldn't stop so i asked him to leave, he decided to vanish all night long and he never came back till the next day. To this day he blames me for kicking him out and held it on my head for the rest of our relationship he never forgave me and things got worse.

 

We would have other trips we loved, we laughed, when we happy we were happy I thought this guy was going to be my forever. I thought one day when we get all our stuff together we would get married and id move to him was the plan.

 

Over time he stopped sharing, he stopped telling me everything he still sat with me on cam, he got addicted to league of legends a video game with his RL friends soon that's all he talked about, I didn't matter anymore he shared nothing I would complain it would upset him nothing changed I grew so unhappy and he grew unhappy because to him I was a "burden" He no longer got happy when i said things like "hey lets watch a movie!" he would sigh and groan and pretty much everything we did was almost that way I wanted to fix us I wanted to try so hard I loved him so hard, He would love me too and agree I would make the effort but be left standing alone while he went back to his own world, he even starting getting verbally abusive.

 

To the now he came and saw me just this march we were going to really try to gain back the friendship we lost, I often suggested breaks (but still being together) he refused said couples never need breaks. This march he came down we had the most amazing wonderful visit ever! Everything was MAGICAL and special and I felt so in love his words to me as I was crying and him leaving was "I love you so much! we have gotten so closer I feel like we're finally going to be okay" I was sooo happy I thought we gained back our missing friendship within our relationship.

 

He returned home and in an instant forgot everything!! went back to not caring or trying to sharing with me back into his world of addiction.

More fights came. I decided to take up playing this game with him in attempt to better us. It didn't work his friends didn't like me, it was his RL friends that played, they did not like me playing so my bf would be stuck in a hard spot.

 

One day we had a fight again about his friend who was rude to me on the game I wanted to say sorry to that friend even tho I didn't have to make things cool so we could all play without my bf having to be torn to choose, the friend refused the sorry and that was that we got into an argument about how it sucks my friends were so welcoming to him and his friends always avoid me, they wouldn't even meet me when I visited him it made me feel terrible. After the fight he said "I want to break up for good" I said fine thinking it was gonna pass over.

 

The next day I talked to him told him I loved him so much he told me I was a burden being at the PC was a burden he didn't feel like doing trips was worth the effort anymore. I am crushed HE WAS JUST HERE!

 

I did the mistake in begging for him back, I love him so much I still do all I ever wanted was for us to regain that friend status within the relationship that we used to have together when we were happy, I tried and tried to do things he desired to make us better but he would never try for me. It was all a one man effort.

 

I feel like he left me so cruely being here with me and my daughter saying we are closer and then leaving me so soon after, some of the things he said hurt so badly. He doesn't want me anymore he just wants to be "friends" but yet he still asks me for sex which I did, big mistake twice on cam thinking it would bring him back to me, he tells me it ment nothing means nothing, he go's through my skype and spy's on my convo's I have with guys asks me about them, he tells me how he's going to go sleep with some girl. I could go on and on.

 

I am in shock, sad, I feel very betrayed and lied to with how recent our trip was, he seemed to change dramatically over a week, I am left heartbroken.

 

The things he did to me like using me for sex, saying things that would hurt me and giving me so many FALSE HOPE has changed him in my eyes forever. I feel like hes not the same man I feel crushed when I see his face and think just 2 months ago we were snuggling now he's tried so hard to hurt me. I entered no contact. But I am crushed things ended this way he was my world and somewhere, sometime he just decided he didn't want me, or my daughter he didn't want our plans and said it was all too much. I can't beg for him now, nor do I want too, what he did and said can never be taken back I am crushed more than anything to see him turn into someone else.

 

Anyway that's my story I don't know what else to do but move on, I still feel like we were ment to be together but he doesn't and there's nothing I can do I feel like he died and someone that looks like him is in his place.

 

- Omei

[soccerrprp]

What a mess. You need to make certain that you cut him off COMPLETELY. Make certain there's no way for him to contact you and you be tempted to contact him. NC doesn't work otherwise.

 

I am sorry. You'll bounce back, but next time be really careful about choosing guys who don't seem to have their sh*t together. He seemed very immature and not well grounded from the sounds of it and you deserve someone who is going to be supportive, affection, attentive to your needs. I would also be very wary of gamers. I know you enjoy them too, but people who are addicted, spend way too much time plugged in are also people who tend to have priorities a bit skewed, less socially aware and committed to the responsibilities that exist in the real world.

 

Good luck. Keep up the NC and move on.

[LittleTiger]

Welcome back Omei. I'm sorry to hear your LDR has finally ended for good.

 

I think you are currently in the post break up phase where you are looking at the relationship with rose coloured spectacles. Although you may love him, your relationship has always been difficult and you have argued a lot over the years - about all sorts of things.

 

Looking at things from the outside, I would doubt very much that you were 'meant to be together'. Couples who are meant to be together are happy most of the time.

 

I know it's tough and you're hurting right now but try to look at this in a positive way. It's been a fairly traumatic relationship on the whole and now you have a chance to meet someone who will be a much better match for you. Maybe someone who lives closer who can offer you and your daughter a more emotionally stable life. Perhaps someone who eventually wants to be her full time father, not just someone who visits now and again when he has a few days or weeks to spare away from his normal life.

 

Take off the rose coloured specs, put this phase behind you and move on.

[umirano]

It seems to me that in both of your lives there wasn't much besides the gaming and the (LD)R? That's a little sad. And it doesn't surprise me that it didn't work out. Satisfaction needs to come from other things, like work, studies, hobbies, volunteering, etc. When you're happy from those things, it will be easy to share this happiness, and thus really share a life. But only talking about video games for sure will run its course at some point. Was the only thing that connected you?

 

In any case, I wish you all the best. Stay away from him and don't contact him. It will help you heal. Do you have everything sorted out with him? As in, will neither of you have to show up at the others place to pick up things? Do you have things to do, to distract you? It looks like the RS faded way before the BU. So you probably don't miss too much the time you spent with him, as it wasn't that rewarding for quite some time.

 

Good luck!

Edited May 31, 2013 by umirano
Orthography

[Els]

Welcome back, Omei. Sorry to hear things haven't been working out.

 

It sounds like he was addicted to his new game - and an addiction cannot really coexist with a R, IMO. I don't think it was the fact that he was a gamer that was an issue - gaming, like drinking, sex, sports, etc, is fine in moderation. He went off the deep end on that, hence the resulting issues. The bf and I have both been gamers throughout our R; we sometimes play with other people, sometimes with each other. It has rarely been an issue. Most of the others I play with seem to be doing quite well in their careers and marriages/Rs, too.

 

In the future, I don't think it will be a good idea to try and join an addict in his activities in an attempt to better your relationship. Just as how having frequent sex with a porn addict will not change anything, because the root issue is that he is addicted, and whatever he is addicted to will come before you. Always.

 

I think it's for the best that you are out of this, honestly. The only reason to be in a LDR is if the other person proves that your investment, the sweat and tears and physical abstinence and loneliness and money, is worth it. This guy does not seem to have done so, has he?

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, but I hope you'll be able to pick yourself up and feel better soon. {{hugs}}

[nugget_718]

My SO has now broken up with me after 5 years of LD, I am now 1 month into the break up, while we had breakups often would only last a day or 2 this is my story.

 

I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. Sometimes when a relationship goes through a cycle of break ups, it is generally not a good sign.

 

Over time he stopped sharing, he stopped telling me everything he still sat with me on cam, he got addicted to league of legends a video game with his RL friends soon that's all he talked about, I didn't matter anymore he shared nothing I would complain it would upset him nothing changed I grew so unhappy and he grew unhappy because to him I was a "burden" He no longer got happy when i said things like "hey lets watch a movie!" he would sigh and groan and pretty much everything we did was almost that way I wanted to fix us I wanted to try so hard I loved him so hard, He would love me too and agree I would make the effort but be left standing alone while he went back to his own world, he even starting getting verbally abusive.

 

Omie, I think with you "trying so hard" to fix things, he kinda just lost interest with doing his fair share to try and fix the relationship. Why should he? You're already doing enough. Sometimes guys, especially immature ones tend to run away and detach themselves from a situation when they are pushed against a wall. You're "trying so hard" might have done that. Just an assumption.

 

I did the mistake in begging for him back, I love him so much I still do all I ever wanted was for us to regain that friend status within the relationship that we used to have together when we were happy, I tried and tried to do things he desired to make us better but he would never try for me. It was all a one man effort.

 

This was you're mistake. When one goes through a break up, you can't switch to a "friend status" right away especially with all the emotional turmoil going on. Even people who have a good RS going can't be in the friend zone so soon after a break up. What you should have done is give him that space he need...agree to his break up request...confused them all the time. Happened to me before. Called him on his bluff then he backtracked and said whooaaaa....I just want us to think things through for a few days.

 

The things he did to me like using me for sex, saying things that would hurt me and giving me so many FALSE HOPE has changed him in my eyes forever. I feel like hes not the same man I feel crushed when I see his face and think just 2 months ago we were snuggling now he's tried so hard to hurt me. I entered no contact. But I am crushed things ended this way he was my world and somewhere, sometime he just decided he didn't want me, or my daughter he didn't want our plans and said it was all too much. I can't beg for him now, nor do I want too, what he did and said can never be taken back I am crushed more than anything to see him turn into someone else.

 

He seemed like a very immature guy and he certainly is not worth your time. Focus your attention to your self and your daughter right now. You're already at 1-month post BU so stick to NC and you'll be fine in no time...this I guarantee. {{hugs to you}}

[Omei]

Thanks for the wish's esp Littletiger and Elswyth.

I know im gonna be fine.

 

Btw we did play games together Elswyth for years quite without issue at all, but things changed when it seemed I was not someone he wanted to spend his time with anymore.

 

umirano sorry I don't think you know enough about my relationship to think there wasn't more than games, I spent 5 years with this man there was a lot of stuff we did and shared together and seperate from each other completely, esp in my case of raising a child. The story is more so about its ending.

 

 

I am keeping the NC, I see no other way things that have been said have been said and done that cant be reversed, He played a lot of false hope games with me upon break up. I do plan to move on. And being alone isn't so bad all the time, its very freeing.

 

I will always have my daughter.

Edited June 2, 2013 by Omei

[Els]

Btw we did play games together Elswyth for years quite without issue at all, but things changed when it seemed I was not someone he wanted to spend his time with anymore.

 

Yes, I think addiction can be something that just starts all of a sudden, especially when surrounded by friends who are addicted, even if it was not an issue to begin with. Also perhaps he had started to dissociate from your R due to being unable to cope with the long periods of distance, and chose to cope by withdrawing instead of discussing the issue with you maturely. Hence addiction being used as a form of escapism.

 

Whatever the reason for his poor behaviour, I'm glad you're going NC with him, and I'm glad you're coping well. Enjoy and love your daughter, and look on the bright side - maybe you'll meet someone who lives closer to you and is willing to put in the effort you deserve.

[Omei]

Yes, I think addiction can be something that just starts all of a sudden, especially when surrounded by friends who are addicted, even if it was not an issue to begin with. Also perhaps he had started to dissociate from your R due to being unable to cope with the long periods of distance, and chose to cope by withdrawing instead of discussing the issue with you maturely. Hence addiction being used as a form of escapism.

 

Whatever the reason for his poor behaviour, I'm glad you're going NC with him, and I'm glad you're coping well. Enjoy and love your daughter, and look on the bright side - maybe you'll meet someone who lives closer to you and is willing to put in the effort you deserve.

 

Tbh I do not think I will embark on another LD relationship unless it seems like getting together is actually currently possible or very soon on both ends you know? And yeah he became into life even quit Wow and i continued to play alone, at that time our relationship was great! But when he started LoL game with his RL friends it was like I was out of the picture he'd go out with them, come home and still wanna be with just them. That's when I tried to join in hoping to be apart of it all but his home time soon became his friend time even tho he already would see them every 2nd night or so, and it would never be OUR time anymore and no matter what I said that was no longer a priority to him.

 

I have made a few new friends from reaaaaally trying to put myself out there, and I get to go out more often now it really helps!

[LittleTiger]

I have made a few new friends from reaaaaally trying to put myself out there, and I get to go out more often now it really helps!

 

This is great news Omei. You're doing all the right things. As you say, you will always have your daughter and now you have new friends too. There is almost always something positive to be gained from the bad things that happen in life. He wasn't right for you and, in time, you will recognise that for yourself.

 

I don't blame you for shying away from LDRs in future. Relationships are tough enough under normal circumstances so why put yourself under extra pressure if you can avoid it?

 

I do hope you meet someone really special who lives close by and who will be good for you and your daughter. Keep us posted won't you

[Omei]

Today im so very angry, I am hurting so bad and angry at the same time.

I am angry that I loved so hard and ignored everything I am angry that he left when I did not, and I really should of been the one too.

 

all my friends and family welcomed him loved him made him feel welcome.

when i visited his family voided me, he friends shafted the plans each time to not meet me, then tell him I was no good and make judgment based on what he said never meeting me.

 

IM SO ANGRY!!! I want to yell and scream at him, he didn't deserve me, how much blood and sweat I put into us I am just so angry it makes me want to cry

[LittleTiger]

Anger is good Omei - it's all part of the grieving process.

 

Allow yourself to be angry, have a really good cry, and then tomorrow you WILL feel better.

 

(((((Hugs)))))

[Omei]

I was reading over this again

Im just gonna say whats on my mind.

 

If anyone would ever ask would I ever do Ldr again? Yea maybe just because im okay with not being with my guy all the time.

 

My breakup after 5 years of Ld I think I came out of it smarter, not better or any happier.

 

My relationship was rocky I dated someone younger and not as devoted as me while I gave them everything I could.

 

one of the most hurtful things was hearing "even if i wanted you back you're in Canada" this was horrific since I spent most of the years paying for the trips and being the one upset about the distance and not him.

 

there was so much put into this relationship on my behalf so much, he didnt put in the same amount but I never believed he would leave me, im fine now but I did truely love them reading over the posts my life has not gotten better without him nor worse.

 

You could say being in breakup its (11montha later) because it was Ld its made it easier to deal with, i never will run into him or his friends or know when he will get a new gf.

 

I broke contact a few times he pretty much forgets anything and everything special I felt like we had a love that could survive anything I still feel that way about him, I dont think he can even get a feeling from any memory we shared hes forgotten it he's changed.

 

LD took so much work and dedication and a neverending amount of trust because we had that besides our fighting about silly things the foundation was so there we ruined it both of us nit picking at things too hard.

 

But I was so in love when we were together it was magic and im pretty sure I'll never let my guard down and let myself be consumed with love that much because losing it was horrible, its funny he's so far now it's like crushing on a celebrity that you will never know or meet ever again I dont think ill ever stop being in love with him, and im def not the same girl as before I dont think I can ever give myself to someone that much again..

 

I guess what I wanna say is a lot of people ask is LD worth it? It was even tho I didn't get a happy ever after and I hurt so much now the love we shared at one point (I still have it anyway) love it was worth everything. I would do it all over again even have it end the same way, it was some of the most magical moments of my life.

 

When you find someone so SO special, Long Distance is worth it.

 

See how amazing I am? I had real real love for someone they decided to take the easy way out. One day he will regret I believe it.

[Els]

I think you really did come out better and stronger from this breakup, Omei - you learnt a lot about yourself and relationships.

 

You've come a long way now. Just hang on and stay strong!

 

Still rooting for you.

[justwhoiam]

I hope you gave up smoking weed (after 10 years of that).

 

You have a daughter and you need to think straight to make the best decisions for yourself in the future.

[HeavenOrHell]

Great to hear from you Omei

But I'm sorry you're still in love with him, that's not good.

You've had no contact for 11 months?

I do think you will fall out of love in time and meet someone else, I did with my last ex (the 18 year r/ship, we lived together), and never thought I would. Love fades when that person no longer wants you and you're not bonding.

I'm glad you don't regret the r/ship and that it was worth it, I feel the same about mine, even if we split if will have been worth it for the wonderful times we've had together and the love we have for each other.

 

 

I was reading over this again

Im just gonna say whats on my mind.

 

If anyone would ever ask would I ever do Ldr again? Yea maybe just because im okay with not being with my guy all the time.

 

My breakup after 5 years of Ld I think I came out of it smarter, not better or any happier.

 

My relationship was rocky I dated someone younger and not as devoted as me while I gave them everything I could.

 

one of the most hurtful things was hearing "even if i wanted you back you're in Canada" this was horrific since I spent most of the years paying for the trips and being the one upset about the distance and not him.

 

there was so much put into this relationship on my behalf so much, he didnt put in the same amount but I never believed he would leave me, im fine now but I did truely love them reading over the posts my life has not gotten better without him nor worse.

 

You could say being in breakup its (11montha later) because it was Ld its made it easier to deal with, i never will run into him or his friends or know when he will get a new gf.

 

I broke contact a few times he pretty much forgets anything and everything special I felt like we had a love that could survive anything I still feel that way about him, I dont think he can even get a feeling from any memory we shared hes forgotten it he's changed.

 

LD took so much work and dedication and a neverending amount of trust because we had that besides our fighting about silly things the foundation was so there we ruined it both of us nit picking at things too hard.

 

But I was so in love when we were together it was magic and im pretty sure I'll never let my guard down and let myself be consumed with love that much because losing it was horrible, its funny he's so far now it's like crushing on a celebrity that you will never know or meet ever again I dont think ill ever stop being in love with him, and im def not the same girl as before I dont think I can ever give myself to someone that much again..

 

I guess what I wanna say is a lot of people ask is LD worth it? It was even tho I didn't get a happy ever after and I hurt so much now the love we shared at one point (I still have it anyway) love it was worth everything. I would do it all over again even have it end the same way, it was some of the most magical moments of my life.

 

When you find someone so SO special, Long Distance is worth it.

 

See how amazing I am? I had real real love for someone they decided to take the easy way out. One day he will regret I believe it.

[Omei]

Thanks =]

Yeah I think I will always love him tho :-/

 

I learnt so many things not to ever do lol

 

Sorry justwhoiam im prob a life smoker, idk if you have ever done it but you build a tolerance it doesn't have a lack of control like booze and its not how it is portrayed in the film industry, personaly I think smoking cig's are worse since they kill you. My daughter is great healthy happy she doing wonderful in school, my personal usuage she doesn't have a window to that just the same you wouldn't drink around a child.

 

I know your not attacking =] but it's apart of my way of living it brings tranquility and calm does wonders for pain, its just how I grew up I know a lot of successful people today that smoke. I rather smoke than get drunk or do other drugs or smoke cigs, its hard to explain pots gotten a very bad label over the years.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Omei

[justwhoiam]

you build a tolerance it doesn't have a lack of control like booze and its not how it is portrayed in the film industry, personaly I think smoking cig's are worse since they kill you.

Basically you are experimenting on yourself, thinking your body won't be damaged. Should you later find out it is so, it'd be too late to go back.

 

Just know that different bodies respond to stimuli in very different ways. People with a predisposition to cancer, when exposed to carcinogens, develop cancer very soon. Others are exposed to the same carcinogens but it takes a very long time for them to develop cancer. What are you voluntarily exposing yourself to?

 

• Reduced resistance to common illnesses (colds, bronchitis, etc.)
  
• Suppression of the immune system
  
• Increase of abnormally structured cells in the body
  
• Destruction of lung fibers
  
• Lesions (injuries) to the brain (possibly permanent)
  
• Reduced ability to learn and retain information (reduced volume of hippocampus, a brain area important for memory processing)
  
• Apathy, drowsiness, lack of motivation
  
• Personality and mood changes
  
• Inability to understand things clearly
  
• General neurophysiological decline
  
• Damaged neural growth, especially if you started smoking pot in your teens
  
• risk of developing schizophrenia (damage in the pre-frontal cortex)
  
• weed contains carcinogenic hydrocarbons (higher levels than the ones found in tobacco)
  

All the best

[soccerrprp]

Thanks =]

Yeah I think I will always love him tho :-/

 

I learnt so many things not to ever do lol

 

Sorry justwhoiam im prob a life smoker, idk if you have ever done it but you build a tolerance it doesn't have a lack of control like booze and its not how it is portrayed in the film industry, personaly I think smoking cig's are worse since they kill you. My daughter is great healthy happy she doing wonderful in school, my personal usuage she doesn't have a window to that just the same you wouldn't drink around a child.

 

I know your not attacking =] but it's apart of my way of living it brings tranquility and calm does wonders for pain, its just how I grew up I know a lot of successful people today that smoke. I rather smoke than get drunk or do other drugs or smoke cigs, its hard to explain pots gotten a very bad label over the years.

 

Omei,

 

I am happy that you are moving forward, but man, the excuses for using weed...wow. There's a reason why weed has a bad rap or label....it's mind altering and a DRUG. Your post above clearly shows that. If the only way for you to deal with stress is by using drugs, then that is a potential for bigger issues. I do hope your child doesn't grow up thinking it's the way to deal with day-to-day issues.

 

Anyway, good luck. Move forward, love your child and stay strong(er).

[Omei]

I came back to see who would post their obsessive anti-post you can always count on someone to want to change you because they think their way is better..

 

you drink, you smoke, you speed, you bully, you lie I can go on you do many things you guys arnt saying so dont place judgment on me.

 

I didn't read it sorry just because I've heard it all before weed is prescribed medically and I bet if I told you I had that prescribed you would instantly go "oh well then that makes sense"

 

justwhoiam I'd be greatful if you decided to stay off my posts this forum is about my breakup not with whatever it is you're trying to achiv

 

I dont need the judgment and the whole "you need to consider your child" speech my child is happy, healthy has many friends is great in school has impecibal manners and she never fits, she's pretty much a god child I did that im a beastly damn good parent and im proud of how fantastic she is compared to other people's children she's fine.

 

This very much reminds me of before I had children I'd see a mother on the bus stressed out sighing ignoring their child and them going SHhh when they try to speak and I remember thinking oh when I have a child I will never hush them I'll always be happy and listen to everything they say I def won't be like this stress messed woman on the bus, well you know what happened? Today I completely understand that woman how foooolish of me to think I could do any better than her lol. Same thing happened with pretty much everything else in life oh I'll never smoke weed its terrible for you it makes you seem like a drug addict etc that's how I thought before too.

 

I told this story because most people dont know anything until they walked in their shoes.

 

Here on out only about what the forum is about please...

This forum is about my breakup if you got nothing to say about the forum and what it is about originally do me a favor just save your words I dont need saving nor will I take them into consideration.

Edited December 10, 2013 by Omei

[TMichaels]

Did you smoke pot with your long-distance boyfriend?

 

Did his parents/friends know about your pot smoking?

 

Best,

TMichaels

[OnlyHonesty]

I came back to see who would post their obsessive anti-post you can always count on someone to want to change you because they think their way is better..

 

<--snip-->

Here on out only about what the forum is about please...

This forum is about my breakup if you got nothing to say about the forum and what it is about originally do me a favor just save your words I dont need saving nor will I take them into consideration.

 

You knew how people would react to a mother mentioning pot, you have seen people respond this way many times before yet you still mentioned it. You could have omitted it and kept your post only about your breakup. I question why you mentioned this in the first place but I think we both already know that.

 

I will certainly be staying out of your posts. Generally, people tend not to behave in such a way towards anonymous people who are trying to help them on an internet forum. Good luck.

[justwhoiam]

Omei, there's enough to worry about your attitude.

 

OnlyHonesty, she didn't mention it just now, I remember about that, when she said it. She's been smoking pot for 10 years now, so that means she started when she was 16.

 

Ok, Omei, I won't mention that anymore, because it clearly bothers you a lot. And that should make you think enough. I was not judging you, just suggesting something to improve your life.

 

But you can't tell people not to answer your threads, because this is a public forum and any registered user is entitled to express their opinion.

 

About your breakup... you won't like it either. Some parts of your post are conflicting:

 

"would I ever do Ldr again? Yea maybe just because im okay with not being with my guy all the time."

"I came out of it smarter, not better or any happier."

"my life has not gotten better without him nor worse."

"I felt like we had a love that could survive anything I still feel that way about him"

"LD took so much work and dedication and a neverending amount of trust because we had that besides our fighting about silly things the foundation was so there we ruined it both of us nit picking at things too hard."

"I was so in love when we were together it was magic and im pretty sure I'll never let my guard down and let myself be consumed with love that much because losing it was horrible"

"now it's like crushing on a celebrity that you will never know"

"I dont think ill ever stop being in love with him"

"im def not the same girl as before I dont think I can ever give myself to someone that much again.."

"is LD worth it? It was even tho I didn't get a happy ever after and I hurt so much now the love we shared at one point (I still have it anyway) love it was worth everything. I would do it all over again even have it end the same way"

"One day he will regret."

 

What I read in there:

- feelings are still there as much as they were when you two were together, 11 months post-breakup

- you minimize anything that went wrong (the fights, the breaks, etc.) as if they didn't mean anything and almost not even worth mentioning

- you glorify the good times and ignore the bad times

- you first claim your life is no better/no worse than it used to be during or before meeting him, but then it's clear that this relationship left scars on you, saying you'll never be the same anymore, nor able to love someone else like that anymore, etc.

- you still love him and claim you always will

- he dumped you and you still have resentment because of that, and that is clear with your last statement "he will regret it".

 

So, I think you still have a long way to go.

[Omei]

justwhoiam im aware that I cannot force anyone to stay off my post but as a person to another adult person I can freely ask they leave me be since I dont wish to speak with you will you respect that? You've picked no, nothing else I can do.

 

Everything you mentioned is true its just a repeat of what I said in bold and then telling me what im already admittng to by my statments.

 

Oh I havent forgotten a single hurt word or action hes done, I would still do it all over again for every good moment we had was 3x the bad ones for me because my trying never stopped.

 

smoking weed doesnt bother me its when people judge you out of everything thats all you saw of me the only thing you could muster back to say was something you didnt approve of, something about me that had nothing to do with the post thats judgment, I never place it on people everyone has "something" that is terribly wrong to someone else so their whole veiw becomes that of this person that needs improvment in there eyes while the person making the judgmeny have their judmental thing locked up safe.

 

Theres nothing I would change I still would really do it again.

[Omei]

You knew how people would react to a mother mentioning pot, you have seen people respond this way many times before yet you still mentioned it. You could have omitted it and kept your post only about your breakup. I question why you mentioned this in the first place but I think we both already know that.

 

I will certainly be staying out of your posts. Generally, people tend not to behave in such a way towards anonymous people who are trying to help them on an internet forum. Good luck.

 

You dont even read