Stone Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 My friend called me yesterday because she is in a NASTY cusody battle with her children and asked me if she coudl barrow 2,000. for a laywer. I love her to death and I love her kids but I just lent her $300.00 last month. I know she hasn't had the chance to pay me back yet and she is a good mother I wouldn't want to see the kids in a bad situation, but at the same time I am friends with her husband she is batteling with... I don't know what to do .... I am so sick of taking care of everybody but She is a good person and she did alot for me when I was younger... I just don't know Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 What about co-signing a loan for her? Then you don't lose any $ out of pocket- she could make easy payments and build her own credit. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Perhaps you could do some research for her, make a few phone calls, etc. and try to help her find an attorney that will work on a sliding scale based on what she can pay. Maybe some kind of legal-aid. I've loaned friends money before - but I knew I would get it back, and other friends who I felt were not as reliable in repaying debts I have refused. It doesn't sound like she will be able to repay you very quickly -- can you afford the loss if she can't repay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stone Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Her life is a mess right now, she couldn't repay for several months... I would rather just give her the money than co sign a loan because I can't have her skrew up my credit. but I am now newely single and I have alot on my plate, but I know she needs me. Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I'd give her part of the $. Every little bit helps. Then volunteer to be a character witness for her- that's the kind of help she really needs. I'm sure she has other friends and family or she could find a pro bono lawyer or someone less expensive if she is in that much financial trouble. But lending yourself dry isn't helping you or her in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Neither a lender nor a borrower be. Somebody put that saying together, for a bloody good reason. Heather, you can't ask us for advice on this, you have to follow your own conscience. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 StoneHeather, can I borrow some money? Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Tikibrandy, can I borrow some money? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Neither a lender nor a borrower be. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Ok, can I have some, then? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Leave me alone. Hit up stoneheather for the money. She's rich yo. StoneHeather....have you considered her paying you interest? My grandfather was worth over a mil when he passed, but you know what he did? He'd lend ya the money, but by God, you'd be payin interest on that sh*t. Same rules for family AND friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 See? Exotic dancing for an education when you're young DOES return dividends Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Assume for a moment that if you lend the 2,000 $ to her you'll never see them again. (I know, this is unfair to your friend. She'd probably do her best to give the money back to you. just assume the worst scenario) Would you still lend them to her knowing she needs them? Would you be able to still be friends like before if you never saw your money again? Would you give her the same sum of money as a gift in the very same situation, if you knew she couldn't give it back to you if you borrowed it? If so, I suggest you lend her the sum if you can afford to. Otherwise....well, you could lend her half that sum, or a quarter of it, or help her in other ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stone Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by tikibrandy StoneHeather, can I borrow some money? Why the heck not everybody else does!! (I am not rich.. I just learned how to manage money) Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I don't think you should lend her the money even though you care deeply about her and her children! She has borrowed money from you recently and again she's asking. I know that you want to do what's best for her but honestly you're sending her a message that you'll bail her out or if you won't someone will. There are legal aid places in all cities, states, that will help her based on a sliding scale and her bills, ect. Be a good friend and lend an ear but not money...she needs to look for that avenue to fight for her children on her own without looking to someone else to help her clean up this mess. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I would help any of my friends in a rough spot in a flash...Infact I have done so recently and would do it again! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I seem to manage my money quite badly. But it's my money. I don't lend, I don't borrow, I don't make business with friends. This rule makes my life a whole lot easier. I help my friends a lot, but differently. This time you have a responsability, not only to yourself, but to your own family also. You decide if you want to give her al the money, half the money, a quater of the money or no money... Tell us your choice, Curly Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Like a lot of people on here have said, there are a lot of legal aid services. Help her find one that suits her financial status. It's understandable that she's your friend and you want to help her as much as possible, but you have your own to take care of as well. Only do as much as you can because if you put yourself in a jam who's going to help you? Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I'd do anything I could for my best friends and they'd do the same for me. Having said that, we usually offer help rather than it being requested. Friends have offered to lend me money. I've never accepted as I'm not sure when or how I'd repay. I think you are wise to be cautious. Despite your concern for your friend, you can ill afford to lose this money now. You need to be sure she is not taking advantage of your good nature and that she will repay. Link to post Share on other sites
Nocturnalkitee Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather Her life is a mess right now, she couldn't repay for several months... I would rather just give her the money than co sign a loan because I can't have her skrew up my credit. but I am now newely single and I have alot on my plate, but I know she needs me. Stoneheather, "I would rather just give her the money" ( A GIFT) please do not expect to get it back for at least 2 to 5 years!!! $100.00 here $100.00 there. Good luck in your decision. I have friends that I love as well, money can destroy a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts