the definitive end

[kalik]

As you guys know, I decided it was best to send an emil to her a week ago and tell her a few things.

 

I missed the times we had together and the parts we played in each other's lives. But how I was still holding on and it was time I let go. I offered my hand in friendship, and asked her to think about it, and if it was something that she might want. I told her how I had changed and how my life was better than it had ever been before.

 

I told her the ball was in her court...I never expected a return serve.

 

She told me she didn't want me to contact her ever again, and how I was not important in her life, and how my opinion or anyone's elses didn't matter. She said that her family was very upset about the whole situation, and how it was time for me to move on (I already had). And then she said she would get a restraining order if I kept bothering her! Like I have been stalking her or something! I have better things to do now...but this still floored me...

 

Ouch! I guess sending a letter in hopes of a new friendship warrants a restraining order now....

 

The only thing I did in the last two months was send her that letter....I was very honest and sincere in my intentions...I don't know why she wanted to keep throwing something in my face...did I hurt her that much? Am I that bad a person? How is it that this happened and she did this....I was hoping that she'd never contact me again...but I guess she needed to feel some kind of power or something...

 

What the hell happened....this is psycho.....what is going on? In retrospect, the letter was an awful idea. I guess I shoudlve listened...

[Tony T]

Go easy on yourself. Yes, sending the letter was pretty dumb. But we all do dumb things sometimes...that's how we learn.

 

Taking advice in affairs of the heart is very difficult. We want a certain person so bad that sometimes we are willing to do the most insane things to achieve that end. But taking the impartial advice of dispassionate third parties, and heeding it, is an excellent way to approach situations. People can see the issues more clearly if they aren't involved.

[Nic]

this girl has done you a favour by not wanting to see you. she has shown her true colours and you are so lucky you don't have to put up with it anymore. of course, it is very painful, but just think yourself lucky.

 

i pity the poor guy she ends up with. some people can be so cold, and the good guys, like yourself, deserve so much better and will find it

As you guys know, I decided it was best to send an emil to her a week ago and tell her a few things. I missed the times we had together and the parts we played in each other's lives. But how I was still holding on and it was time I let go. I offered my hand in friendship, and asked her to think about it, and if it was something that she might want. I told her how I had changed and how my life was better than it had ever been before.

 

I told her the ball was in her court...I never expected a return serve. She told me she didn't want me to contact her ever again, and how I was not important in her life, and how my opinion or anyone's elses didn't matter. She said that her family was very upset about the whole situation, and how it was time for me to move on (I already had). And then she said she would get a restraining order if I kept bothering her! Like I have been stalking her or something! I have better things to do now...but this still floored me... Ouch! I guess sending a letter in hopes of a new friendship warrants a restraining order now.... The only thing I did in the last two months was send her that letter....I was very honest and sincere in my intentions...I don't know why she wanted to keep throwing something in my face...did I hurt her that much? Am I that bad a person? How is it that this happened and she did this....I was hoping that she'd never contact me again...but I guess she needed to feel some kind of power or something... What the hell happened....this is psycho.....what is going on? In retrospect, the letter was an awful idea. I guess I shoudlve listened...

[Rogue]

I hate to say it,but we did tell you so.This had better be the end of all this,because we've told you over and over again to move on.If you don't believe that,check back in your previous posts in the past few months.Hadn't we told you to forget her and not make contact? None of us here have anything to gain or lose by your misfortune,so we're pretty impartial as to what happens to you. We gave you the best advice we could, if you chose not to follow it ,then that was your concern.

 

Now you're facing a possible restraining order. I hope this IS the definitive end because your next step could land you in a lot of trouble.A restraining order isn't much legally speaking, but it could be very unflattering if viewed from another perspective. A potential employer might view it as a sign of emotional instability or a sign of a lack of self-control. It won't help you if you ever get in any kind of legal problem,since they'll do a background check on you see the order, making you look like a possible criminal. And rest assured any potential love interests who find out about it will definately be turned off.

 

So do yourself a favour and never think of this girl again for the rest of your life.

[Deejette]

You have shown over and over again through many postings, that you are not getting the message from this girl. She does not want your friendship, your attention, your anything. Your persistence in this matter is like stalking.

 

Having been stalked a lot in my life myself, I can tell you that your behavior is not welcomed, but you have not taken either the hint or the broad statement from her. In her frustration and in a final attempt to get you out of her life, she has resorted to a restraining order. That took planning and work on her part to ensure that you will not bother her any more.

 

In this state of mind, you are not ready for even a new relationship, because you are carrying your "I won't take no for an answer," mentality with you. Wake up once and for all and understand: This girl does not want to be with you, talk with you, or see you again.

this girl has done you a favour by not wanting to see you. she has shown her true colours and you are so lucky you don't have to put up with it anymore. of course, it is very painful, but just think yourself lucky. i pity the poor guy she ends up with. some people can be so cold, and the good guys, like yourself, deserve so much better and will find it