I want my Ex back...what do I do?

[Meg]

My boyfriend and I had a very very close relationship and then all of a sudden without me even noticing it coming he said that he couldn't handle the relationship anymore. He would tell me that he would always love me, that we would be together forever and nothing will ever come between us. He also told me that I was his soulmate and the one for him. Of course i let myself get attached and I love him to death. He told me that I was the mature one in this relationship and that he was the immature one...so he said it was him not me...I work with him everyday and I see him all the time. At first he felt bad and I was depressed about what he did but now he like acts happy and he acts high on himself. He seems like he has a big ego and thats not like him. He's usually shy and quiet and keeps to himself. I love him so much and we don't talk a lot except saying "hi" or "bye". I tried talking to him once but he doesn't make too much eye contact, I think hes scared to look at me. I'm always the one to go and talk to him and I dont know what to do. I'm giving him time and space and not trying to pressure him into doing anything. But its christmas time and I really want him back. I need help on how to handle this and figuring out the best way to get him back. I also wrote him this long letter about how I felt but I dont know if I should give it to him or not. Some say I should just leave it alone and in about 2 weeks he'll miss me and start calling me again but he's already flirting with other girls and thats defintley not like him. I dont know if this flirting is to keep me off his mind or hes doing it because hes already over me after 2 weeks. I need someone's opinion fast! please help me...thanks

[Taressa]

Hi Meg,

 

Oh, this heartbreak can really blind us sometimes. I susoect that Christmas is pushing your emotions over the brink so that your loneliness creates a desperate call for love, creating false hope that this gentleman will return.

 

No amount of wishful thinking will make him feel what you want him to feel. Put your romantic wishes to bed and get on with your life. Gather friends around you and you will find your loneliness eases.

 

Honestly, your described a rather shallow and incommunicative relationship; I believe that once you rebuild yourself and enjoy life without him you will see that you settled for far too little from this man. You deserve a man whose maturity and passions match your own.

 

For now set your mind to enjoy the holidays without him. He does not love you and seems to be growing a disrespect for you. In time you will find yourself much happier, much more content without him. Just don't go through this time alone - - call upon your friends and family for company and support.

 

Please don't pursue the relationship with him by sending the letter or by any other means of contact. Your kindness and maturity in letting go will preserve both your peace of mind and whatever friendship may still remain between you.

 

Wishful thinking is not hope. I see only wishes here and I'm sorry for that. You will be fine without him.

[Ed]

"I want my Ex back...what do I do?"

 

Stop wanting your Ex back. He ended the relationship for some reason and no matter what the reason is, it is best for you to move on to other things. Do what you did before you met him or get involved in something new to occupy your mind and your time.

 

There is no good reason for you to continue holding on to the idea that you will get back together, no matter how much it hurts to loose him. And it will hurt for a while. But it's normal to think that way soon after a breakup and it's normal to want him back. In time you will be able to let go and not think so much about it. Do your best to forget that he is there. You don't have to be mean or ugly to him, just leave it at "hi" and "bye".

 

Definitely, DO NOT send him the letter that you wrote. Use it for your own healing. Write him another one and another one. Keep them all for yourself or throw them away if you please. Writing down your feelings is a good way to help you let go of the relationship.

[Deejette]

He said beautiful things to you, but what did his actions show you? It is easy to say, "I'll love you forever, you are my soulmate." Lots of BS artists use such lines every day to capture the love of someone.

 

But your bf's actions showed that these were just words. He is flirting with others now, just dropped you, and shows little remorse or sensitivity about it.

 

Therefore, don't let yourself be snowed by words and sentiments in the future. It feels so good to be on the receiving end of sweet words and we want to believe them so badly. But we must always check out to see what are the behaviors of the person saying them.

 

You should be glad he is gone. He will use those lines on others and probably break their hearts too. He has freed you to find someone who backs up his words with actions.

 

My boyfriend and I had a very very close relationship and then all of a sudden without me even noticing it coming he said that he couldn't handle the relationship anymore. He would tell me that he would always love me, that we would be together forever and nothing will ever come between us. He also told me that I was his soulmate and the one for him. Of course i let myself get attached and I love him to death. He told me that I was the mature one in this relationship and that he was the immature one...so he said it was him not me...I work with him everyday and I see him all the time. At first he felt bad and I was depressed about what he did but now he like acts happy and he acts high on himself. He seems like he has a big ego and thats not like him. He's usually shy and quiet and keeps to himself. I love him so much and we don't talk a lot except saying "hi" or "bye". I tried talking to him once but he doesn't make too much eye contact, I think hes scared to look at me. I'm always the one to go and talk to him and I dont know what to do. I'm giving him time and space and not trying to pressure him into doing anything. But its christmas time and I really want him back. I need help on how to handle this and figuring out the best way to get him back. I also wrote him this long letter about how I felt but I dont know if I should give it to him or not. Some say I should just leave it alone and in about 2 weeks he'll miss me and start calling me again but he's already flirting with other girls and thats defintley not like him. I dont know if this flirting is to keep me off his mind or hes doing it because hes already over me after 2 weeks. I need someone's opinion fast! please help me...thanks