GF and Ex//guy friends - am i just paranoid?

[insecure]

Hi guys,

 

Ive been in a long distance relationship for around 7 months and I find that i sometimes get really jealous of what my gf tells me.

 

First off, she doesnt want to let me come down to see her, yet she has one of her guy friends from another country staying over at her house (she lives with her parents). She told me this, when i asked why she answered he lost his appartment and was unemployed. During the summer she also went twice to that country on allegedly different reasons but she told me she saw him on a few occasions.

 

Another thing that makes me jealous is that she is keeping a good relationship with her ex who is her next door neighbour. She told me she went out on a few social occasions with him, and i guess its a good sign, she could have just lied about it and not told me, but still im finding it a little disturbing, what if old flames rekindle... She once even told me she though he had a really arousing body (not her words but close enough). At that point I asked her if she still loved him and she answered that no.

 

I must admit i am quite insecure, and the fact that she makes some disconcerting comments like these dont help me and make me jealous. But like i said at least shes telling me, she could just lie about it and I would never know. Maybe shes gone out on more than a few social occasions, im not saying she tells me all the time, but why tell me at all.

 

I dont know maybe im just really insecure and paranoid.

[Hurt]

type in hurt for my story, there is no room for exs!

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by insecure

But like i said at least shes telling me, she could just lie about it and I would never know. Maybe shes gone out on more than a few social occasions, im not saying she tells me all the time, but why tell me at all.

 

Not to alarm you further, but it's been my experience that successful liars only lie as much as they have to. The more you make up, the harder it is to keep your stories straight. It's easier to say she's going out with him and lie about her intentions, than to make up an entire story to cover up everything (assuming, of course, that she's lying at all).

 

I had a gf who I became suspicious of for a number of little things here and there. I eventually found out she had a second bf who was long-distance. She was away on a trip and I had no way to contact her but I got the other guy's contact info, called him, and let him know what was up. I spent the first 15 minutes or so convincing him I wasn't lying myself. It turned out he knew who I was, knew when my (now ex) gf was hanging out with me. She had told him I was nothing more than a platonic friend.

 

Also, if someone is doing something they know they shouldn't, it's not uncommon to tell the truth about part of it just to release a little of the guilt.

 

Now, I'm not saying your gf is necessarily screwing you over, and definitely don't go jumping the gun on anything. But IMHO, it sounds like something shady is up.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

Based on your story it is pretty clear that you are in denial.

She is playing you for an absolute fool. Do you really think she

would accept these lame execuses if the roles were reversed?

Move on and find someone who can respect you and a relationship because

this girl cannot. She goes out and visits other guys. No offense but you would have to be a fool to accept this. Please move on find someone that is worthy of you. The bottom line is that she is playing you and you believe everything she says while she goes out with other guys. Open your eyes. I wish you luck.

[Fallen_Angel]

Originally posted by insecure

She once even told me she though he had a really arousing body (not her words but close enough).

 

Yikes. I hate to say it, but that sounds like trouble to me.

 

I'm still friends with one of my exes, but he and I didn't date very long. And believe me, the words "he has a really arousing body" would never leave my mouth while describing him. It's more like "he's shorter than me, and he dumped me, so screw him." Well, I did get past the bitterness, so I salvaged the friendship.

 

The fact that she doesn't want to let you come see her sets off some alarms as well. I think you should find a girl who lives closer to you who treats you better.

 

Good luck.