smh124 Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 For my complete story go here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t47321/ I did the no contact thing for a month. But last week, she contacted me via text message. A month ago, we both agreed that we are still in love with each other but she couldn't give me a 2nd chance b/c it would be unfair to this new guy she is dating. I have now spoken to her a few times in the last few weeks and I have seen her once. She says we can get together again this week. All of our conversations have been friendly. I havent mentioned anything about us getting backing together and havent asked anything about the guy she is seeing. What is the next step? Do I continue to speak to her once a week on a friendly basis? And let things just work themselves out? How do I get it to the next level? I see this guy she is dating as a real problem in getting her back. I still miss her terribly and think about her all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
blackendangel13 Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Dear smh124 , As hard as it is you need to stop seeing this girl for a little while. Do not call her, do not email, don't text. By having you still there and this new guy she is having her cake and eating it too so to speak. She will not realize what she is losing if she isn't losing you. You need to go out more, meet new people. Spend more time with your friends who support you so you are not by the phone when she calls. Have you been home everytime she has made an effort to reach out to you? Have you called her back immediately if you saw her name on the caller I.d.? Its not fair to have you on a leash while she continues to see someone else. I know it must kill you to know she has someone else. So just take some time off from her. You will see things more clearly and when things do get clearer the question will be "what can she do to get you back". Link to post Share on other sites
Author smh124 Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Blackendangel, Thanks for the reply. I didnt contact her for a month. Just for the reasons you said. Then she reached out and contacted me. But i have been contacting her and she calls me back this week, she called me on her own twice. This is b/c I am concerned for her. Her father just had a stroke and I told her I'm here for her. But you still think I should lay low for a while? Would it be better to be friends and see how that works? And you are right, it is driving me crazy that she is dating this other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 wait a sec...she says she is still in love with you but is dating some other guy? Gee, glad I'm not the other guy cuz it would suck to deal with all this and believe me, he will be eventually. Your ex should dump the guy and get back with you if that is what she wants. Her continuing this relationship with that guy is just not fair to him and she is jerking him around. Funny she sees it the other way meaning she thinks breaking up with him now would be unfair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smh124 Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 Thats exactly what I was thinking when she said it was unfair to him. But he gets to be with the only true love i've evr had. Granted, I broke up with her, but it drives me crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
blackendangel13 Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Believe me I know how much it sucks, but if you give her and yourself some space it will help tremendously. I have been broken up from my world for over 2 months and at first it was so hard. He wasn't seeing someone else other than his best friend who was always trying to break us up since we got together and it angered me to no end. But I was his back up. He would come running back to me for sex and reassurance and it wasn't until I said enough was enough that I actually started to heal. Now its been over a month of no contact and yes it sucks, but it isn't unbearable. I am seeing someone else and no it doesnt replace those feelings for my ex, but again living without him isn't unbearable. I used to wake up every morning and have to think for a minute before I realized we were broken up and my bed was empty. But that fades too. And if she does come back, you will be a stronger person which is what she saw in you in the first place. Think of this as a time to be selfish and be selfish. I have never in my life been selfish and I am telling you sometimes it feels good. Do things that you normally couldn't do with her, things she may not have liked. Take everything in stride with babysteps and it will get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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