Mount Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 As I posted before, the MM was planning to pull it off at the end of June, but we talked about it and decided to make it happen tomorrow. Guess it is moment of truth..... Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Good luck Mount! Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. I don't envy your MM though, its going to be quite the emotional ride. Hang in there... Link to post Share on other sites
beyond Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 As I posted before, the MM was planning to pull it off at the end of June, but we talked about it and decided to make it happen tomorrow. Guess it is moment of truth..... I'm guessing this phrase has a different meaning outside of Britain?! Let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Yes....he seems to be more calm and easy than me, I feel like I am more nervous than him. He keeps to assure me that having faith on him.. Guess it is what it is - yes Affair was wrong as a start, but in order not being wrong continuously, he has to make action to adjust the multiple relationship back to one-to-one relationship with one woman only. Good luck Mount! Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. I don't envy your MM though, its going to be quite the emotional ride. Hang in there... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bellasue Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Good luck! Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 I am not betting on his words at this moment, ultimately as we are aware everyone is responsible for his/her own behavior, and I can not control or force someone doing things they don't want to do. So, again, as said before, will see. Good luck! Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Yup, wait and see what happens. If he doesn't do it tomorrow, how will you feel? Will you go back to your other deadline end of June? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 (edited) He has packed his stuff away now and be ready at this point, as he does not want to do the last mintue packing when wife is screaming at him. Plus I told him I need conversation/sound record proof when he does the conversation, as yes I trust him, but I verify everything too. If he does not do it....then he does not need to do anymore in other time too. Also it is his decision anymore, as an elder and mature person he has his own decision to do things or not do things. Also I did him ask same thing - how would I know no last minute change, and he asked me back - had he not done anything/ any promise that he told me, and the answer is no. He excuted everything so far. Yup, wait and see what happens. If he doesn't do it tomorrow, how will you feel? Will you go back to your other deadline end of June? Edited June 2, 2013 by Mount Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 (edited) Everything thing has TWO SIDES. If not do the right thing, the poor woman will continue be cheated on, continued to be lied on, continue to be blindside. Now, dont tell me A should/could/not have been happened. It is too late, it is what it is. Plus, how many MMs here in OWs' stories voluntarily exposed the Affair and expressed the desire to divorce by themsevles. I saw all over the board is D-day, 2nd D-day, 3rd D-day...etc by wives, then the MM still not leaving anyway. But again I do have second thought that want to persuade him sticking with the original plan...(I agree with one of by my family members as his action will need to be succeeding without fail, rushing up timeline might cause drama). Some poor woman is about to have her life imploded. Some woman is about to feel the worst pain imaginable. Some woman is about to lose her husband. And we're all wishing Mount good luck? How about we have a moment of silence for the woman whose life is about to be broken. How about wishing the BS good luck finding some peace and happiness after these two ruin her life. Good luck, indeed. Edited June 2, 2013 by Mount 1 Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 @bringontherain, I'd say what that guy is about to is is the kindest thing he's done in a long time. His BS has the best possible chance now, to meet sometime who won't cheat on her. It's brutal now, but he's doing her a kindness. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chick Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Maybe maybe not. Maybe she will never trust anyone enough again to let them be that close ever again. Maybe it will take her years of therapy to get over this betrayal. I seriously wish people would stop thinking after this happens the betrayed wife just rushes right out and finds a new man. I wish people would read what I wrote, but just me. Which is better? Her husband has been living a sham with her for ages. He's finally leaving. He becomes someone else's problem. And I'm sure the BS will be devastated. I'm sure things will be horrible for a long time. But she has a CHANCE, however infinitesimally small, at something better. And amongst the horror she is about to face, that is something to hold onto, even if she doesn't end up in another relationship. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I think it's a great idea! It gives his wife a chance to find a man that will honor her. She deserves better than him and his cheating ways. Glad she has the opportunity to have an authentic relationship! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 First of all I am not gonna saying it is a great idea, or the MM's decision make him a saint. But at least it keeps all of us three (BS, MM and me) having sanity. I think it's a great idea! It gives his wife a chance to find a man that will honor her. She deserves better than him and his cheating ways. Glad she has the opportunity to have an authentic relationship! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 He has packed his stuff away now and be ready at this point, as he does not want to do the last mintue packing when wife is screaming at him. Plus I told him I need conversation/sound record proof when he does the conversation, as yes I trust him, but I verify everything too. If he does not do it....then he does not need to do anymore in other time too. Also it is his decision anymore, as an elder and mature person he has his own decision to do things or not do things. Also I did him ask same thing - how would I know no last minute change, and he asked me back - had he not done anything/ any promise that he told me, and the answer is no. He excuted everything so far. This is fine if his exit plan actually happens. It's one thing to plan and think about, it's a whole other thing to sit down with your spouse, tell them I am leaving you for another woman, I'm sorry.. He cannot predict the outcome, I mean he may see his wife in a whole new light once he tells her. Her reaction could make him change his mind so it IS a good thing you're prepared that this could all go south and your plans with him for a future are gone for good. That is IF he tells her. For your sake, I hope you follow through on your own words. If he balks, you say goodbye. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 I have asked him to make sure if he does do the talking, I only want to see the success, I won't accept the other way. However about the timeline, I still hesitate to see and I am not sure tomorrow is the right timing (too rushy), as from the beginning of June till 29th will be a crazy busy month. So so so many things happen at work, also my side family. This is fine if his exit plan actually happens. It's one thing to plan and think about, it's a whole other thing to sit down with your spouse, tell them I am leaving you for another woman, I'm sorry.. He cannot predict the outcome, I mean he may see his wife in a whole new light once he tells her. Her reaction could make him change his mind so it IS a good thing you're prepared that this could all go south and your plans with him for a future are gone for good. That is IF he tells her. For your sake, I hope you follow through on your own words. If he balks, you say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I have asked him to make sure if he does do the talking, I only want to see the success, I won't accept the other way. However about the timeline, I still hesitate to see and I am not sure tomorrow is the right timing (too rushy), as from the beginning of June till 29th will be a crazy busy month. So so so many things happen at work, also my side family. Is he doing this on his time frame or yours? Expect the worst and hope for the best, that's all you can do. It's totally out of your hands now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 What I meant is that I dont want to see he is going to back down after his BS reacts. I have warned him already, I would rather he does not tell at all, than he back down later. I asked him not to do it (not to expose A at all), or if he does insist doing so, make sure doing it without residue. Is he doing this on his time frame or yours? Expect the worst and hope for the best, that's all you can do. It's totally out of your hands now. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Good luck, Mount. It's nice to hear that someone has decided to end the charade. I hope that your MM will have the courage and compassion to do what he says. I'm sure the BW will be shocked and hurt but she will also be pissed once she thinks it through. There has been an ongoing A. However painful this might get, she gets the truth. For that MM is to be commended. Now let's wait and see what actually happens... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 He did it... Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 He did it... He did what? Tell his wife or move out? Or both? How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 Did exactly as planned. Told BS and now he is here. BS was shocked and wanted to retain the marriage and he does not want. Next few weeks will continue proceeding as planned. He did what? Tell his wife or move out? Or both? How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Thought he was getting an apartment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 Yes, but today is Sunday, is that right? Is that even worthy to discuss? Believe me/us, we do things always step by step. Emotion is useless at this point. The accommodation plan will be proceeded during the weekdays when office is open. Plus he wants to have a suite tour first to see if the place is meeting requirement. Basically temporary hotel or business suite for one or two months, then finding a nice house to rent one year till D is final. Then purchasing a house for both of us. Thought he was getting an apartment? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Yes, but today is Sunday, is that right? Is that even worthy to discuss? Believe me/us, we do things always step by step. Emotion is useless at this point. The accommodation plan will be proceeded during the weekdays when office is open. Plus he wants to have a suite tour first to see if the place is meeting requirement. Basically temporary hotel or business suite for one or two months, then finding a nice house to rent one year till D is final. Then purchasing a house for both of us. Uhm ok. Didn't think my question was that stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Uh oh, Mount. For someone who so carefully plans things out (him and you) why isn't his apartment ready to go? It's still in 'tour' stage? I hope you realize that there are going to be many more talks between them, she might not let go so easily. Will you be monitoring all the talks? I'm really not trying to be snarky, I just tend to expect the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
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