bluebear01 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 So I just came out of a very complicated FWB situation that has left me feeling pretty down, I know I will get over it as the guy was no way good enough for me even more so after what he did. I just can't get over that someone I considered a friend could treat me so badly. So the short story of it... Been up and down for a year. We agreed that if either of us met someone else then we would end things and be just friends. 4 weeks ago he told me he thought he loved me, then went quiet for a few days was offish with me when I got in touch, I told him I couldn't do this anymore as it was too confusing. He then started getting in touch with me. We spent two nights together before I went on holiday 3 weeks ago. So I left for my holiday feeling fine about everything... 6 days into my holiday I received a text from him telling me he had met someone else so we needed to be just friends. Well fair enough to him if he met someone but in 6 days? I don't think so. I was obviously upset and made this clear to him, mainly because he disturbed my holiday to tell me this when it could have waited. So I decided to deal with it when home. So on Monday I see him and confront him, air my views on how I felt. He promised me that he only met up with this girl when I was on holiday but had been messaging her before. So I forgive him, no idea why. We somehow ended up spending the night together that night... after all evening of him begging me kiss and hook up with him whilst supplying me with wine. We decided that would be the last time then leave it as friends... I found out two days later that he had in actual fact been seeing this girl alongside seeing me for several weeks...so I am feeling pretty crap that he lied blatantly to my face the other day. I knew he was no good but didn't believe he would be like that. So I have ended my friendship with him. My only issue is I feel that this girl deserves to know what she is getting involved with so she has the option of what she wants to do. He has a history of treating girls in this way, I didn't listen but I was warned. Should I just give her a heads up or just leave her to potentially get treated like I was? Just think she should know the facts. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Tell her. But - one word of warning: If you DO tell her, make sure your motivation is correct. Don't do it for revenge and spite. That's just low. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Both you and I know that you will only be viewed as the embittered ex and it will almost certainly make no difference to what she believes or does. Apart from which there is always another side to the story to be told, so she will have to chose. Do you think it really worth it? Do you think it worth sacrificing your public persona for this? Apart from which, just because he treated you that way doesn't mean he is going to treat her that way, even if you assume that how he has treated you is an indication to form. She is a big girl (presumably) and is as entitled to make the same sort of mistakes as you. Just think about it. The persona of the avenging angel is not one that is much admired generally. Maybe save your reputation for a worthy cause? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluebear01 Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 I do not mean tell her in a revengeful kind of way I mean just inform her of what was going on just so that she knows. I don't care what she does with the information but if I was starting a relationship with someone and they were in fact seeing someone else behind my back I would rather have been told about it because things like that always come out in the end. I have been the girl that wasn't told before and I found out everything a year into the relationship and that sucked (yes I suck at choosing guys!) I understand that I will probably look like the bitter ex but I am not planning on telling her in that kind of way just 'I think you should know that he spent the night with me last week and two weeks previously along with telling me that he loved me but what I didn't know was that you two had been seeing each other for several weeks. It's up to you what you do with this information i just felt it right to let you know' that sort of thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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