What if your boyf/girlf told you this?

[Just Wondering Diana]

I'm almost 30 and been dating my boyfriend for 2 years.

He works for a huge company and has to travel a lot. Sometimes he has to spend three to four months away, and I mean very far away (most frequent destinations are China and Mozambique).

He's now in Mozambique and I haven't seen him in a month. Yesterday we talked on the phone (he calls me as much as he can but not everyday - too expensive - however sends me e-mails on a daily basis) and he said (with a sweet tone):

 

"It's been a month now...I miss you, I miss making love to you, I'm climbing up the walls... sometimes I get so needy...I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but... (silence)... I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but sometimes I think, just as a thought and not as something that I've considered doing, that it would be so easy for me to meet someone else just for the pleasure and the sex...because I do get needy...but then I realise it's not the sex that I want...it's you, it's the sex with love, it's the smell of your skin, it's the way you make me feel and noone could ever replace that. Please don't take this the wrong way...when oportunity presents itself, I can't help but think that I don't want to go for it...I do, and at the same time I don't...because it's you, there could never be another...I don't know, it's strange for me to say this. I've never been like this in my life before. Please don't take this the wrong way...it's just that I catch myself thinking that this feeling for you is so strong...everything just reinforces the certainty of my love for you."

 

I appreciated his sincerity, but couldn't help wondering and feeling insecure - after all, he said he was climbing up the walls and that the thought of meeting someone else had crossed his mind (even if it just "crossed" - and we're not saints, we're bound to think of other possibilities, other people). Since he'd talked in a sweet tone, I said, in a joking tone (but deep down I wasn't) that now I was gonna get paranoid that he was gonna have sex with someone else since he was so needy...he said "no, what I was trying to tell you was exactly the opposite. That's why I was afraid that you could take this the wrong way".

 

After all, I guess what he said was sweet but, at the same time, left me a little shaky. Is it really natural to be "climbing up walls" after just a month away? Is he saying this just to keep me secure while he's up to no good? At the same time, I think that if he was cheating then he wouldn't say anything at all, there would be no need for that since I haven't been questioning him or anything like that. Would he be that twisted?

 

Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things, on being pessimistic, instead of focusing on what he really meant by that.

 

Your thoughts on this?

Thank you.

[Keke1]

Hell yeah it's natural. He wants you and only from what i read. I wouldnt read tooo much into it. Tear his ass up the next time you see him. Like never before.

[ChessPieceFace]

Is it really natural to be "climbing up walls" after just a month away?

 

Probably. Men have physical sexual needs which most women can't directly relate to on a 1:1 basis in terms of their own desire. The sooner you understand that the better off you'll be in terms of keeping your relationship with your man on good terms.

 

if he was cheating then he wouldn't say anything at all

 

Exactly. He was trying to compliment you but it came out in a confused and unfortunate way. Cheaters hide it, they don't broadcast things like that.

 

The only negative thing you could take away from this is that maybe his desire is more than his morality can deal with indefinitely. I believe he is and has every intention of being faithful now, but technically anything could happen in the future. Long-distance relationships are trouble. If I were you I'd look into some way to fulfill his needs more while he's gone ... I'm really not into cybersex, but you could ask him if doing that would help.