Friend Jokingly Says "This is a date" When We Hung Out

[JackieChiles]

I have posted about this friendship in the past, but not much has really happened. I'm still confused about what I even want, and I think some of it is that I am honestly just curious what she thinks of me.

 

Basically, this girl I used to work with who is seven years older than me and I have been doing dinner with each other every week. I always thought that she had a bit of a crush on me before I left the company. She originally invited me over for dinner, during the middle of the week. She then jokingly said that I now have to make her dinner. So I did the next week. Three weeks later she made dinner, and then I made dinner the following.

 

Now, we have been going out to dinner the last two. The first was out with a couple of her co-workers. We both ended up getting pretty drunk but not too much flirting (although she did make quite a bit of contact and said some odd things). Last week, I took her out to eat at a casual place. I ended up paying the bill, just because it felt right (like I said, we pretty much treat each other to dinner every week). She seemed happily surprised, though. She jokingly said that this is a "give-take relationship".

 

We then played darts at a local bar, and I don't know, I feel like the flirting increased a lot (perhaps because of a little alcohol). I'm pretty sure she gloats about me to her friends. She tells her co-workers (my ex-co-workers), her friends and even her mom about me. It's a little odd because I don't know why anyone would tell everyone else about a little friendship.

 

But when we were playing darts, she jokingly said something like, "don't make fun of me, this is our first date." Or something like that. I really didn't know how to take it. She then started buying us shots and whatnot, and I could see in her eyes, her physical contact, and her twirling of her hair that she really liked my company. I walked her back to her place, but she didn't invite me in and I didn't make a move because I am not quite sure what is going on. I texted her later in the night saying that I continued drinking after I got home, and she said that I should have stayed and drank at her place. I then asked if I am "drinking alone tonight", and she said "tonight yes, but another night no." I think said good night and that I hope she enjoyed her dinner, and she said "I did A LOT."

 

I'm pretty sure her co-workers ask why we don't date, and I'm pretty sure she said it's because I'm young (25). She also exaggerated my age and told people I'm 24, but she knows I'm not. Again, I feel like it's a way to save face. Also, I've pursued this as a platonic relationship because when we worked together, she would say little things that would make it seem like we could never get together or that we're friends, but I always found that to be a way to save face as a co-worker of mine.She sends out major signals, but then sends out the opposite at the same time.

 

Thank you for reading, and I am just looking for some input I guess on this and the proper way to go forward. Do nothing? Ask her what she thinks? Ask her out? Just make a move?

Edited June 2, 2013 by JackieChiles

[M_S_B]

If you want a relationship with her, I would make a move. She has given you all the right signs. If you are afraid of losing what you have though, or things changing negatively, I wouldn't do anything. Also take into consideration that women tend to wait for guys to make the move. Just like you, she doesn't want to look foolish. Alcohol seems like a big part of when she was being flirtatious. If you do make a move or talk to her about it, try to do it when you are both sober.

[JackieChiles]

If you want a relationship with her, I would make a move. She has given you all the right signs. If you are afraid of losing what you have though, or things changing negatively, I wouldn't do anything. Also take into consideration that women tend to wait for guys to make the move. Just like you, she doesn't want to look foolish. Alcohol seems like a big part of when she was being flirtatious. If you do make a move or talk to her about it, try to do it when you are both sober.

 

Thank you for the advice. I did talk to her about it, and she was surprised. She said that when she came into this she just assumed we'd be friends. She said that she never thought I'd be interested in dating her. She never said no, but I didn't really see any good signs either. She said that we should keep things casual and that we should be honest and if either of us change our minds we will let each other know.