Attraction trumps religion/faith when it comes to dating

[irc333]

I didn't know for sure whether to put this in the dating section or this section, but considering that I've always been posting in the dating section, I'll move over to this area.

 

Something I've noticed with people and dating. Esp. with some of the Christian singles events I've been to, it appears to me....that attraction seems to overtake religion or Christian beliefs when it comes to dating.

 

It basically goes out the window.

 

Reason I say this, is that I meet a lot of women who say they want a Christian man, but they'll even date a man that isn't as involved in the faith or perhaps even to the point of an agnostic.

 

Friend of mine told me, "Yeah, but she's probably like a lot of women, she'll try to attempt to change him."

 

So here you have a person, who is Christian, dating someone that's "luke warm" in their faith, but winds up getting disappointed if he doesn't go to Bible study with her or hum drum about that relationship.

 

There are some people who are non-religious that have no problem dating even the highly religious...because they are attracted to the qualities that makes their personality and of course, physical attraction.

 

Saw this dating profile, she said she had no qualms dating a Christian man, even though she was completely a non-religious Liberal...as long as he didn't push is religion him, and she'll also respect his faith...but her personal relationship with her own faith will pretty much be non-existent.

 

How many people do you know that put their religious faith to the wayside, when they're totally into someone?

[Emilia]

There are some people who are non-religious that have no problem dating even the highly religious...because they are attracted to the qualities that makes their personality and of course, physical attraction.

[...]

 

How many people do you know that put their religious faith to the wayside, when they're totally into someone?

Not me. I'm an atheist and would never date anyone who wasn't one because I'd never date a person I didn't see as completely rational. I know 100% that I would not feel attraction for a man who bought into make-believe like religion. I once dated an agnostic and I'd go as far as saying they are the last group I'd date again ever, I can't stand people who can't make up their mind on what they believe. For god's sake, have an opinion!

[irc333]

Not me. I'm an atheist and would never date anyone who wasn't one because I'd never date a person I didn't see as completely rational. I know 100% that I would not feel attraction for a man who bought into make-believe like religion. I once dated an agnostic and I'd go as far as saying they are the last group I'd date again ever, I can't stand people who can't make up their mind on what they believe. For god's sake, have an opinion!

 

Wow, an athiest that won't date anyone that isn't sure about their own complete disbelief? Never thought that'd be a dealbreaker for an athiest.

[soccerrprp]

Not me. I'm an atheist and would never date anyone who wasn't one because I'd never date a person I didn't see as completely rational. I know 100% that I would not feel attraction for a man who bought into make-believe like religion. I once dated an agnostic and I'd go as far as saying they are the last group I'd date again ever, I can't stand people who can't make up their mind on what they believe. For god's sake, have an opinion!

 

Emilia, this a little harsh. Agnostics have the opinion that the existence of a divine being cannot be rationally ruled out entirely. That's their opinion.

 

I consider myself spiritual, but not at all religious. I am not even certain what I would consider myself really. Some combination of Deist and Agnostic. I have and would date Atheists w/o issues.

 

I had a Southern Baptist interested in me once. I had to remind her that my religious beliefs come nowhere close to hers. It didn't stop her from trying....

[Phoebe]

I once dated an agnostic and I'd go as far as saying they are the last group I'd date again ever, I can't stand people who can't make up their mind on what they believe. For god's sake, have an opinion!

 

Agnostics are not people who can't make up their mind what they believe.

 

Atheist, Gnostic, Theist, Agnostic

[M30USA]

As a Christian and Bible-believer, myself, I agree with the OP.

 

I tend to be viewed as radical around here, but let's just face it: who honestly was initially attracted to someone for their faith/belief in God before their looks and/or status attraction? I would say hardly anybody and probably nobody.

 

The plain truth is that marriage, while good, is a earthly, fleshly, and worldly institution. It's primarily for the sake of raising children and other worldly purposes. To show this is correct, Jesus even said there wi be no marriage in heaven. It's also interesting that Paul suggested the marriage relationship actually hinders a person's ability to focus on the will of God. He even suggested that married couples take breaks from each other (assuming it's mutually agreed) so they can devote themselves to God.

 

It seems that dating/marriage is more about looks/status than it is about faith. If most people were honest I think they would AT BEST say faith is merely an "equal" factor. Who do you know that would marry an ugly person with GREAT faith? It just doesn't happen.

 

We are living in the world. The ways of this world are passing away. Certain things like marriage, while they serve a good purpose here and now, are also passing away. We are unable to put God first as he should be--or faith in him first, as it should be. God is aware of this. He doesn't hold it agsinst us in our current state. He even gives marriage to us and it's his own idea.

[pureinheart]

I didn't know for sure whether to put this in the dating section or this section, but considering that I've always been posting in the dating section, I'll move over to this area.

 

Something I've noticed with people and dating. Esp. with some of the Christian singles events I've been to, it appears to me....that attraction seems to overtake religion or Christian beliefs when it comes to dating.

 

It basically goes out the window.

 

Reason I say this, is that I meet a lot of women who say they want a Christian man, but they'll even date a man that isn't as involved in the faith or perhaps even to the point of an agnostic.

 

Friend of mine told me, "Yeah, but she's probably like a lot of women, she'll try to attempt to change him."

 

So here you have a person, who is Christian, dating someone that's "luke warm" in their faith, but winds up getting disappointed if he doesn't go to Bible study with her or hum drum about that relationship.

 

There are some people who are non-religious that have no problem dating even the highly religious...because they are attracted to the qualities that makes their personality and of course, physical attraction.

 

Saw this dating profile, she said she had no qualms dating a Christian man, even though she was completely a non-religious Liberal...as long as he didn't push is religion him, and she'll also respect his faith...but her personal relationship with her own faith will pretty much be non-existent.

 

How many people do you know that put their religious faith to the wayside, when they're totally into someone?

 

Ex relationship junkie here:rolleyes:

 

In every relationship saw the things that did not work for me, and your statement in 'bold' speaks of who I was to a tee. "They're not romantic and distant, but that will go away"...this was only one example of my past thinking.

 

My advice to anyone- love the person for what they are TODAY. If you don't like what you see in certain areas that are deal-breakers, then roll.

 

There are things that I won't comprise in: No sex prior to marriage and they have to be the Spiritual head. Simple deduction tells me that they have to be strong in their faith and Christian. I'm fine being single and when I'm not it goes away quickly after asking God to accept what is going on today.

 

One big mistake I made was not understanding that anyone I bring into "my" life, will infact affect everyone around me. Relationships can have a major selfish element in them.

[HokeyReligions]

...I'm an athiest.........For god's sake, have an opinion!

 

LOL! At least you know what you want!

 

For me a shared faith is important - strength of and practice change over time and ecperience. Physical attraction is human nature and even for the most devout they gotta know attraction is part of the design.

[M30USA]

LOL! At least you know what you want!

 

For me a shared faith is important - strength of and practice change over time and ecperience. Physical attraction is human nature and even for the most devout they gotta know attraction is part of the design.

 

Physical attraction is definitely part of the design. But as long as you're aware that it's part of a system which is passing away and soon to be ushered out, you will be okay with it and know that it's a temporary role. I used to get upset that there would be no marriage in heaven. But then I realized that marriage fulfills a purpose that is only needed here on earth.

[pureinheart]

Physical attraction is definitely part of the design. But as long as you're aware that it's part of a system which is passing away and soon to be ushered out, you will be okay with it and know that it's a temporary role. I used to get upset that there would be no marriage in heaven. But then I realized that marriage fulfills a purpose that is only needed here on earth.

 

Earthly marriage is meant to represent he marriage union with Jesus. We won't need it in heaven.

[M30USA]

People will compromise what is not held in high priority.

 

Lets be honest: most ripple only regard religion when they need comfort. This is why we live in a world riddled with poverty and war while the major religions spoke against such behavior. Hence, people will conveniently "forget" to couple within their faith, just like they "forget" to visit prisoners, feed the poor, and parent the orphaned. It is the rare few that live by their dogma/ethics consistently.

 

Yep.

 

And contrary to what most soft pastors teach, God will NOT respond to people who continually ignore him and only superficially pray to him when they're in a crisis:

 

But since you refuse to listen when I call and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand, since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke...Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me, since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord. (Proverbs 1:24, 25, 28, 29 NIV)

 

We seriously do NOT want to mess with God. We SHOULD be afraid to disobey Him. If we aren't, then we don't understand his holiness. Additionally, I don't believe salvation is cheap. God owes us nothing. And the fact that he sacrificed the blood of his own Son, we should tremble at this idea if we truly understood what it entails.

 

It's said that what makes sin so bad is not the sin, itself. But rather who we sin against. If you mouthed off and disrespected me, nothing would happen. If you mouthed off and disrespected the President, you might get arrested. If your mouthed off against God...I'll let you finish the idea.

Edited June 2, 2013 by M30USA

[pie2]

How many people do you know that put their religious faith to the wayside, when they're totally into someone?

 

I've definitely seen this. IMO, their faith isn't really as strong as they say it is.

 

I'm curious about these Christian singles events with lots of non-Christians in them...is that common?

 

Nonetheless, I've seen countless couples unite under the premise that God is first in their lives. And, they're attracted to each other.

[M30USA]

I've definitely seen this. IMO, their faith isn't really as strong as they say it is.

 

I'm curious about these Christian singles events with lots of non-Christians in them...is that common?

 

Nonetheless, I've seen countless couples unite under the premise that God is first in their lives. And, they're attracted to each other.

 

Not to sound cynical, but I think when you see sites like ChristianMingle.Com, the best way to interpret "Christian" is: 1) nice, 2) not a convicted criminal, 3) raised in a Christian family, 4) not necessarily a follower of Christ and/or Scripture in a literal sense but rather subject to my own feelings at any given time.

[TheFinalWord]

Friend of mine told me, "Yeah, but she's probably like a lot of women, she'll try to attempt to change him."

 

[pie2]

Not to sound cynical, but I think when you see sites like ChristianMingle.Com, the best way to interpret "Christian" is: 1) nice, 2) not a convicted criminal, 3) raised in a Christian family, 4) not necessarily a follower of Christ and/or Scripture in a literal sense but rather subject to my own feelings at any given time.

 

So, pretty loose definition of Christian then?

 

My friend tried a Christian dating site, and met someone who was a convicted criminal , funny enough. But, hey, God loves us all!

[pie2]

 

Ohhhh, they're trying to be Christian. Ok, got it. :laugh:

[M30USA]

So, pretty loose definition of Christian then?

 

My friend tried a Christian dating site, and met someone who was a convicted criminal , funny enough. But, hey, God loves us all!

 

I'm at a point in my life where I honestly think I'd rather date a sincerely repented criminal than a "nice" family woman who compromises her faith and doesn't trust the Lord above her own understanding. I've seen what "nice" people can do. Did you know the Boston bomber's friends and neigbors all described him as "nice"?

[pie2]

I'm at a point in my life where I honestly think I'd rather date a sincerely repented criminal than a "nice" family woman who compromises her faith and doesn't trust the Lord above her own understanding. I've seen what "nice" people can do. Did you know the Boston bomber's friends and neigbors all described him as "nice"?

 

I'd tend to agree, M30. For the most part, as long as someone's paid their debt to society, I think they should be given a fresh start (there are caveats/exceptions, of course). Anyway, I'm certainly in no position to throw stones!

 

 

(Not related, but I wanted to clarify...by "loose definition of Christian" I was referring to part (4) above: not necessarily a follower of Christ and/or Scripture in a literal sense but rather subject to my own feelings at any given time.)

[pureinheart]

So, pretty loose definition of Christian then?

 

My friend tried a Christian dating site, and met someone who was a convicted criminal , funny enough. But, hey, God loves us all!

 

Just out of curiousity Pie, how long did it take for him to tell her that?

 

It's interesting, having a hysterectomy at 27 ...without assuming the relationship was going to go this far, although about the second time seeing a person, I'd say hey, not to sound presumptuous, but I can't have kids.

 

I read a lot of "dating" books, and most of them said not to disclose TMI in the beginning... I don't think that's good advice...lol, I believe in spilling my gutts if you got a couple of days:lmao:

[M30USA]

In regard to knowing when/how to inform potential interest of your personal history, etc, you can't go wrong as long as you continuously remember that they are their own person with their own goals and feelings. The problem comes when you forget this and you start thinking about whether or not they'll accept you, love you, leave you, etc. Remember to keep it about them, not you.

[Emilia]

Emilia, this a little harsh. Agnostics have the opinion that the existence of a divine being cannot be rationally ruled out entirely. That's their opinion.

 

I consider myself spiritual, but not at all religious. I am not even certain what I would consider myself really. Some combination of Deist and Agnostic. I have and would date Atheists w/o issues.

 

I had a Southern Baptist interested in me once. I had to remind her that my religious beliefs come nowhere close to hers. It didn't stop her from trying....

It's harsh in the US but it's not harsh in Europe. I live in a secular society and prefer it that way

[pureinheart]

 

Wow, "project men" ...was trying to think of that term in another thread, but in this threads case, it would have read, "project women".

 

Ya, I comprimised in this manor- now my projects consist of actual projects...home improvement:D HGTV rules!

[pureinheart]

In regard to knowing when/how to inform potential interest of your personal history, etc, you can't go wrong as long as you continuously remember that they are their own person with their own goals and feelings. The problem comes when you forget this and you start thinking about whether or not they'll accept you, love you, leave you, etc. Remember to keep it about them, not you.

 

Amen. Full disclosure is not for everyone, I've had Pastors state that some things should be kept between God and the individual. I'm a full disclosure person. In my case it's to protect both parties. When I did date, it made no difference, in fact it was quite welcomed.

 

In reading these boards, have found that many have dealbreakers- so I have a blanket statement: If there is something that you hate- I've probably done it or thought about it.

 

Since I won't comprimise in the areas stated in a previous post in this thread, it limits the chances of having that type of relationship to about zero:laugh:

 

I'm a firm believer that if it is Gods perfect will, nothing will stand in the way.

[pie2]

Just out of curiousity Pie, how long did it take for him to tell her that?

 

I think it was right away. I think they went on a couple more dates, but it just wasn't a match. I don't think his past had anything to do with it; just different lifestyles in general.

 

pih, I think you're right in sticking with your natural ways of being open and honest. If it's God's will, nothing can stop it (no matter what the dating books say!).

[TheFinalWord]

Wow, "project men" ...was trying to think of that term in another thread, but in this threads case, it would have read, "project women".

 

Ya, I comprimised in this manor- now my projects consist of actual projects...home improvement HGTV rules!

 

Hey keeping yourself out of trouble is a good thing lol

 

For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

He has a bunch of videos keeping brothers in check too