8 months on

[seriously-let-down]

Just thought I'd come back and give you an update of how I am. 8 months ago my wife basically left me for a co-worker. I saw it coming, stuck my head in the sand and believed all the BS she was feeding me. Why question this woman? She loved me, wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, couldn't live without me! Then I let her in my head and believe all the BS of why my marriage failed! I was so wrong to let her.

 

What had happened to my marriage for it to fail? I let her change herself, allowed her like a loving husband to have plastic surgery and other surgical operations that she wanted, that would improve her quality of life! The problem was that as she changed the world changed how it viewed her. I was told I needed to change? how could I change? I couldn't because I was me. Yes little thing like more attention, gifts, etc.... But she too wasn't giving me that attention. Why? Because she was giving to others! I'm glad now that it ended because looking back I too was unhappy. Everything I ever did was taken for granted, and I also too took her for granted. What hurt the most though was the way I was dropped, replaced and forgotten.

 

I know I still have a long way to go, memories come into my mind still and hurt, but what I've come to realize is that those memories are of the good times, a time before the changes, a time I thought I knew the woman I loved. The thing that I see now is not that woman, but someone else, some woman I would never have bothered with. But now I try to look at those memories with fondness, they are my memories, memories I will carry to my grave and I lived them. The relationship still lives on, but as memories in my head.

 

So would I go back? No, it ended for a reason, that reason is a huge miss-mash of factors, some I will never know about or do I really care to know about?

 

I've actually started to see someone else, its still early days but I'm having fun and we get along great. Its funny as my new partner actually makes comments of how I behave towards her whereas my ex said I didn't do them. My Ex has gone from riding high on the waves, and now has herself hit rock bottom. But how she lives her life is now her problem and nothing to do with mine.

 

As I see it now, yes I have my flaws, but I never asked for the treatment I got. I didn't deserve it, I was loyal, honest, caring, loving and always there for her. Something that she didn't value or respect.

 

Its just another chapter of my life that ended, if we all look back over our lives we all have chapters that we've lived. We are all writing our own destiny. I know its hard, and I know what you are all going through. But there is light at the end of that dark tunnel. I can see it, yet 6 months ago I couldn't. Stay strong my friends and I hope you get here very soon yourselves.

 

This made me laugh recently. A local radio station advertises divorce lawyers, and the ending jingle basically says "Because life's like that......" Is it a joke or they really be serious?

 

And finally, I'd like to thank you all for being here for me when I was on the dark side. Speaking of Dark side, from dark side of the moon album - Pink Floyd The song lyrics from Breathe put things into perspective "For long you live and high you fly, And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, And all you touch and all you see, Is all your life will ever be." So get out there and make it a good one.

 

Speak to you all soon.