mm4184 Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 So I've been dating this guy since January. He flew across the country to meet my family and friends. I offered the casual relationship- he said he wants more and wants to eventually have a relationship with me. Right. I had this weird feeling there was someone else yet he kept saying there's not and many sources said his girlfriend and him had broken up like he said etc. But recently, it's just been more frustrating because he's been making excuses, not showing up to things, telling me he's stressed because he has to move apartments blah blah. So I decide to spy on him at one of his baseball games. I've only been to one and then the next one I could go to, he made some excuse about it moving somewhere far and he wasn't driving so couldn't take me. So I felt something was up. Today, passed by the game as it was finishing and lo and behold, he's walking out with a girl. Looked like how he described his "ex". They weren't holding hands, didn't kiss, but they did hug awkwardly (like a lingering goodbye) and she sat in the front seat while his brother sat in the back. I'm almost positive it's his ex, or maybe girlfriend and they never broke up or got back together. I just want to confront him and be over it. I had a gut feeling and his actions confirmed it. I also don't want him getting away with it so I wish I had just went up to them, but I'm not that kind of girl. I want to tell her but I have no idea what her name is or anything! He has no social media- smart guy. So I really have no way to find out except if I show up to another game or go to his apartment where I think she lives too. I know I sound crazy and I should just drop him and move on with my life. But for me, I need closure. I need to confront him and a bonus would be to NOT let him have his cake and eat it too by letting her know. She can do whatever she wants with the information but at least she would know her man went on vacation with another woman and met her friends and family and pretended that something would come out of it. I'm so heartbroken I don't even know what to do and how to even be able to speak with him without making it known I'm about to give him hell. Help?? Link to post Share on other sites
devo584 Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 well what would you like? obviously there's always a .001% chance that nothing is going on. but after about 2 1/2 years of the same bs with my ex girlfriend, i find that lies are lies for a reason. but to answer your original question, i guess it really depends on what you want to do, the only thing you need to know is that raising your voice, or being accusing wont get you anywhere, i definitely learned that the hard way.. is it possible that you could say "hey so i was out for a drive and i saw.." usually the answer they give can decide your next move. i'm definitely no expert, i'm only 20 years old actually but i truly believe in following your heart. but you may also just need to drop him and leave him alone, he will probably crawl back! Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 You already have closure because you saw him with her and caught him lying. Dump the loser. You don't need to be dating a liar. If you confront him, he'll probably tell you more lies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mm4184 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 well what would you like? obviously there's always a .001% chance that nothing is going on. but after about 2 1/2 years of the same bs with my ex girlfriend, i find that lies are lies for a reason. but to answer your original question, i guess it really depends on what you want to do, the only thing you need to know is that raising your voice, or being accusing wont get you anywhere, i definitely learned that the hard way.. is it possible that you could say "hey so i was out for a drive and i saw.." usually the answer they give can decide your next move. i'm definitely no expert, i'm only 20 years old actually but i truly believe in following your heart. but you may also just need to drop him and leave him alone, he will probably crawl back! He won't crawl back after I tell his girlfriend what he's been doing! But thanks for the words of encouragement. I know I need to drop him but it's just annoying feeling so down and depressed about someone I wasn't even exclusive with! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mm4184 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 You already have closure because you saw him with her and caught him lying. Dump the loser. You don't need to be dating a liar. If you confront him, he'll probably tell you more lies. Thank you. I know.. now I just have to figure out how to not feel so horrible. I know it takes time. I've been through worse. But I just hate the beginning when I can't even gather the energy to get up and do anything. It's annoying letting someone affect me this way but I am so emotional so it's just not helping me with my situation. Plus, I live across the country from my family... I don't want to "run away" and move back home because of a guy but I feel like I've exhausted the dating world here and I just feel very lonely Link to post Share on other sites
jolie_baby Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 If confronting him with his gf would make it easier for you just do it. Don't keep it all for yourself. As another poster said, he will probably lie agai when you do but just give him a piece of your mind and don't listen too much to his non sense. Sorry it happened that way. Best Link to post Share on other sites
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