Cats Hate Dogs

[Frazzled]

My boyfriend and I have come to a point in our relationship where we feel it is time to live together. Beside from the expected challenges this kind of move offers, we have two enormous issues blocking this transition: He has 3 cats, I have 2 dogs. We also both own homes that are located across the city from each other.

 

Optimally, we agree that we could keep all pets if we could afford to buy a third home that was more suited to both of our needs. However, this is not forseeable in the near future. We also agree that neither one of us should sell our homes in the event that we breakup.

 

He has refused to move to my house because, among other reasons, he doesn't like the "ghost" of my ex-husband who used to live there. I can kind of understand this; however, it has been a long time since he lived in the house and its not like I have his things still lying around!!!

 

I am willing to rent out my house and move in with him provided that my dogs can live inside. This would mean that he would need to find new homes for his cats.

 

The dogs are 6 and 10 years old and I have had them their entire lives. They have lived indoors and have even (on occassion) slept in my bed with me.

 

Although he has lived with cats his entire life, he has had these particular cats for under 1 year. He has never lived with dogs and is an extreme lover of cats as well as other small animals.

 

We have tried living together on two separate "trial" periods. The dogs were left outside but were brought into a spare room to sleep at night. The problem is mud and barking. When it rains, and it does non-stop in Portland during the winter, the dogs become soggy with mud. We have tried erecting structures that will keep them dry...but all have failed. At this point, if it rains we have to hose them down and leave them in the garage to dry before bringing them indoors. This is extremely inconvenient.

 

And, because my dogs are not accustomed to sleeping outside they bark when startled by EVERY noise. Aside from annoying the neighbors, we are both unable to sleep.

 

Frankly, I want to be able to pet and love my dogs without getting covered in mud. I want them indoors. He has offered to find new homes for all the cats if I do the same for the dogs. But, I feel that if I am willing to give up the comforts of my own home and tack on a helacious commute to work, he should be willing to find a new home for his cats.

 

Are we doomed?

[Deejette]

This is the beginning of the many compromises that are necessary when two people join their domestic lives. Living together is like marriage without the paperwork and public commitment. If you are having trouble now, just in the living-together phase, you might want to question it.

 

Why ruin a good thing? Forcing each other to give up beloved pets can backfire and cause ugly problems in the relationship when things aren't going that smoothely; "I gave up my cats for this person that I can't even get along with," or "I gave up my dogs and now look how he is treating me!"

 

Maybe you should re-examine the drive to live together, if it means gut-wrenching sacrifices.

My boyfriend and I have come to a point in our relationship where we feel it is time to live together. Beside from the expected challenges this kind of move offers, we have two enormous issues blocking this transition: He has 3 cats, I have 2 dogs. We also both own homes that are located across the city from each other. Optimally, we agree that we could keep all pets if we could afford to buy a third home that was more suited to both of our needs. However, this is not forseeable in the near future. We also agree that neither one of us should sell our homes in the event that we breakup. He has refused to move to my house because, among other reasons, he doesn't like the "ghost" of my ex-husband who used to live there. I can kind of understand this; however, it has been a long time since he lived in the house and its not like I have his things still lying around!!!

 

I am willing to rent out my house and move in with him provided that my dogs can live inside. This would mean that he would need to find new homes for his cats. The dogs are 6 and 10 years old and I have had them their entire lives. They have lived indoors and have even (on occassion) slept in my bed with me. Although he has lived with cats his entire life, he has had these particular cats for under 1 year. He has never lived with dogs and is an extreme lover of cats as well as other small animals.

 

We have tried living together on two separate "trial" periods. The dogs were left outside but were brought into a spare room to sleep at night. The problem is mud and barking. When it rains, and it does non-stop in Portland during the winter, the dogs become soggy with mud. We have tried erecting structures that will keep them dry...but all have failed. At this point, if it rains we have to hose them down and leave them in the garage to dry before bringing them indoors. This is extremely inconvenient. And, because my dogs are not accustomed to sleeping outside they bark when startled by EVERY noise. Aside from annoying the neighbors, we are both unable to sleep. Frankly, I want to be able to pet and love my dogs without getting covered in mud. I want them indoors. He has offered to find new homes for all the cats if I do the same for the dogs. But, I feel that if I am willing to give up the comforts of my own home and tack on a helacious commute to work, he should be willing to find a new home for his cats. Are we doomed?

[Tony T]

Are we doomed?

 

YEP

[kimmi]

Are we doomed? YEP Tony i knew that you were direct... your response made me laugh..