Author KatZee Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Fb is a bitch, isn't it? I, too, had similar thoughts after checking fb last week. Why does he get to have fun/live a fab life with this new chick while I'm still grieving over him? It's not that my life is shabby or anything, but comparatively, he is "ahead" of me in this break-up. Of course, this is our ego talking, because we like to think that we should be the ones better off without our exes. I completely understand how seeing things on fb can throw us into self-pity. My ex is also seeing a girl who is 24/25. I think what you said about your ex could apply to my ex as well. I'm in my late 20s and while I wasn't pressuring for marriage or babies or anything, we were at that point (at 3 years) to think about moving in together, getting a place, etc. I don't think he was afraid of that, but financially I don't think he was ready to make the jump yet with me. I think sometimes he took the easy way out because she is younger, so he has time to think of "grown-up" stuff. Your ex sounds exactly like mine. I'm in my late 20's and we were together 3 years and then he just up's and leaves because he knew I was on the path to engagement and he left me for a 23/24 year old. That only lasted a month, and now he's dating this chick. He's also emotionally stunted, and he's in no way shape or form ready for that so it does make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 This will tear you up, always keep you down and lead to negative patterns in RS's... Yeah... but I'm not down. I don't think people are getting that. I'm not upset. I'm not down. I'm not unhappy with my life. I just, out of spite, don't want to see him living a happy life. I want him to gain 300 pounds, go bald, and lose all his money gambling. I actually have several ex's I'm still friend with to this day. They weren't people who screwed me over. Was I hurt when it ended, yes. But they weren't and aren't bad people. I actually messaged my first love maybe a month or so ago telling him I wished him nothing but the best and that he was a good person. (Something in the news hit me hard and it's something that could have happened to me if it weren't for him.) I just don't take kindly to those who hurt others, especially intentionally. Maybe I'm an a.sshole but that's how my mind works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Ha!!! Yeah, try being a TRUE Libra (15th) and a deep left brain thinker. Some days I would rather just tear my brain right out of my head the try to 'balance' my thoughts. Seriously!! What are the traits of a deep left brain thinker? I'm Oct 5. Not sure where that puts me in regards to being a "true" Libra lol. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 What are the traits of a deep left brain thinker? I'm Oct 5. Not sure where that puts me in regards to being a "true" Libra lol. Left brain = linear, organized, balanced, structured, logical, future planner Right brain = spatial, artistic, chaotic, free spirited, emotional, here and now Me = left My ex = right Kind of exciting at first, but eventually became so incompatible and created so much resentment, hostility, power struggle, control issues, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Responding to OP, Katz-His new relationship will not last...he is idealizing her now, but in a few months he will start the devaluation process and treat her like shiit. His career may be on track, but his love life will ALWAYS have problems. Also, I bet she isn't as gorgeous as you think...people tend to post the best pictures of themselves on FB, but in reality they don't even look half as good. I am in the same boat as you, life has taken a huge dump on me as well. Take care of yourself and everything will fall into place. I am praying for both of us..:-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Responding to OP, Katz-His new relationship will not last...he is idealizing her now, but in a few months he will start the devaluation process and treat her like shiit. His career may be on track, but his love life will ALWAYS have problems. Also, I bet she isn't as gorgeous as you think...people tend to post the best pictures of themselves on FB, but in reality they don't even look half as good. I am in the same boat as you, life has taken a huge dump on me as well. Take care of yourself and everything will fall into place. I am praying for both of us..:-) Thanks for the prayers! I hope things start looking up for you as well. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) I want to get smashed! Cav Edited June 4, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
boblet Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Katz I know how you feel! I too also recently found out about my ex's new gf who happened to be a miss universe contestant wtf?!?! I was fuming!! And I identify with what you're saying because my ex was a cheater also. I just want to see justice like you because he is the one that should be hurting not me I've had enough! Still struggling with it also but you know what, I cannot control karma or what happens to him. I only have control over myself and how much I allow his wrongdoings affect my well being. So as much as I understand your Situation as well, I guess it really comes down to letting things go because you won't know for sure that karma isn't Gonna bite him In the future, and who knows maybe this chick is his karma! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 So, this isn't a setback thread per se. Just sort of an update on the ex, etc. So yesterday FB decided to tell me who my ex's new girlfriend is. Everyone's blocked but she came up as "People You Might Know" based on mutual friends. So I log onto FB and I see a small thumbnail and I was like... "IS THAT MY EX?!" So I clicked it and sure enough, it was. Seeing the pictures actually didn't bother me at all. I'm not hurt by it, I'm actually newly seeing someone else at this moment and I'm turning into a loony bin on that front, but what DID bother me is that my ex was a complete and utter scumbag. A chronic liar. A cheater. No integrity, no morals. Allowed people to disrespect me. Disrespected my parents to their face... And HE gets promoted? HE gets a hot new girlfriend who's obsessed with him? HE gets this all amazing life? Bit of background, I just lost my job, and now I'm stressing b/c I'm not sure the guy I'm into, is equally as into me back. I'm sure by even uttering the word "Karma" Tara will be here in 5 seconds, but how does he get the world on a silver platter? And why does life seem to be taking a giant dump on me right now? I Just don't get it. katzee....YOU'RE AWESOME. just because your loser ex boyfriend nabbed some "pretty" insecure bimbo to date doesn't mean he has the world on a silver platter. he's probably treating her the same as you...except YOU are smarter and not falling for his every word. facebook is to make your life look amazing, not trite. well, except my fb. i like to look trite. but again...you know the drill. i don't have to tell you. if it helps, i had a weird reminiscent day too for someone i kinda despise. life sucks that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 As someone said they won't be able to pretend long wolf's shed their skin but not personalities at beginning its all sweet 3 months later .... Very few people have guts to really post real stuff on social sites its all about when things are good faking good or was good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 I want to get smashed! Cav Oh man, I did that last Wednesday. Bad move during the week lmao Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 Katz I know how you feel! I too also recently found out about my ex's new gf who happened to be a miss universe contestant wtf?!?! I was fuming!! And I identify with what you're saying because my ex was a cheater also. I just want to see justice like you because he is the one that should be hurting not me I've had enough! Still struggling with it also but you know what, I cannot control karma or what happens to him. I only have control over myself and how much I allow his wrongdoings affect my well being. So as much as I understand your Situation as well, I guess it really comes down to letting things go because you won't know for sure that karma isn't Gonna bite him In the future, and who knows maybe this chick is his karma! Exactly! I mean I wasn't fuming at all. I kind of was just like.. what the hell! I was actually thinking the same thing too. I hope she's his karma. I hope he falls for her so hard and she pulls a GIGS situation or just turns out to be not what he expected. I mean... my ex has pulled what he's pulled on TWO girls now. His karmic debt is CRAZY huge right now. It's coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 katzee....YOU'RE AWESOME. just because your loser ex boyfriend nabbed some "pretty" insecure bimbo to date doesn't mean he has the world on a silver platter. he's probably treating her the same as you...except YOU are smarter and not falling for his every word. facebook is to make your life look amazing, not trite. well, except my fb. i like to look trite. but again...you know the drill. i don't have to tell you. if it helps, i had a weird reminiscent day too for someone i kinda despise. life sucks that way. hahahahah "insecure bimbo." And yes, that's why I wasn't really bothered. I did he same thing this chick is doing for the entire first year. He was pretty much a saint and I thought the sun shone out of his a.ss. I know the drill with how he acts. Once he starts getting used to her, or they start having issues, he becomes extremely passive and pulls away, and hides for days, and just acts like a coward. I'm being stupid to think that he's somehow going to change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 As someone said they won't be able to pretend long wolf's shed their skin but not personalities at beginning its all sweet 3 months later .... Very few people have guts to really post real stuff on social sites its all about when things are good faking good or was good. Very true. And the fact that he's immature, and she's still relatively young... I'll just sit back and wait for the impending explosion. Fingers crossed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) Oh man, I did that last Wednesday. Bad move during the week lmao Hahaha ..I miss u gal im not around here much anymore. Hope you are doing well. Im am also struggling with a few thing with my new RS. It more has to do with me. Im super into her and she is into me but i am a little unnerved at the intensity of my feelings for new girl, this at times can make me feel slightly insecure and i need to remember some lessons from my BU to center myself again emotionally. really to hear from you! PS im sure this thing about you ex isnt even bothering you anymore! we are way past caring too much anymore. Rock on! Cav ps maybe you ex is reformed and this new girl is his soul mate and they will get married and have little demos running around! Id go with that one instead of the though that he needs to explode! It is quite liberating to let it go! Edited June 4, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I'm a very positive person too. I wouldn't want him having all the luck, when just the opposite is happening for you. I would also remind myself that: truly decent and kind people, who don't fck people over, experience greater joy than really selfish people. No genuinely nice woman who is hot and has substance to them, is lucky to have ended up with your ex......... Poor them. Would you be happy to know that a dude you were seeing, actually treated some people like crap? Personally, I much prefer to date men who are genuine and kind. To EVERYONE. If I knew a guy could have total disregard for certain girls feeling, I would dump him immediately. How people treat others is what largely determines their character........ Just feel sorry for this new girl, and thank your lucky stars that you're seeking decent men who don't treat others like trash. If you haven't already found him with your current dude:) Always remember. Truly kind and positive people, who enjoy treating others well, feel the deepedt joy and happiness. Pr! Cks like your ex may be laughing how life is, yet those who lack compassion and empathy still miss out on a greater level of contentment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 Hahaha ..I miss u gal im not around here much anymore. Hope you are doing well. Im am also struggling with a few thing with my new RS. It more has to do with me. Im super into her and she is into me but i am a little unnerved at the intensity of my feelings for new girl, this at times can make me feel slightly insecure and i need to remember some lessons from my BU to center myself again emotionally. really to hear from you! PS im sure this thing about you ex isnt even bothering you anymore! we are way past caring too much anymore. Rock on! Cav ps maybe you ex is reformed and this new girl is his soul mate and they will get married and have little demos running around! Id go with that one instead of the though that he needs to explode! It is quite liberating to let it go! Aww miss you too Cav! Doing great on this end, but I totally feel you with the "intensity of feelings and insecurity." I've been talking to this guy for 5 seconds and I'm already like, "he's not into me!" "I messed it up!" "I suck!" I hate my ex for making me feel so worthless that I now have trickle over issues going forward. I keep all that to myself though and I appear all calm and cool on the outside lmao. And no, this stuff with my ex didn't even bother me when it happened. I'm just spiteful Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 I'm a very positive person too. I wouldn't want him having all the luck, when just the opposite is happening for you. I would also remind myself that: truly decent and kind people, who don't fck people over, experience greater joy than really selfish people. No genuinely nice woman who is hot and has substance to them, is lucky to have ended up with your ex......... Poor them. Would you be happy to know that a dude you were seeing, actually treated some people like crap? Personally, I much prefer to date men who are genuine and kind. To EVERYONE. If I knew a guy could have total disregard for certain girls feeling, I would dump him immediately. How people treat others is what largely determines their character........ Just feel sorry for this new girl, and thank your lucky stars that you're seeking decent men who don't treat others like trash. If you haven't already found him with your current dude:) Always remember. Truly kind and positive people, who enjoy treating others well, feel the deepedt joy and happiness. Pr! Cks like your ex may be laughing how life is, yet those who lack compassion and empathy still miss out on a greater level of contentment. Yeah, I truly do feel sorry for this girl. I mean she's young and probably really naive. She's probably being swept off her feet by him right now (I know b/c that's what he did to me) and it happened to me when I was 24 too! And look where it lead me. Down a really dark and miserable path. Eventually when her new shine wears off he'll go back to what he really is. A selfish, self absorbed, emotionally stunted, and phony human being. It's honestly her problem to deal with now, but I do feel bad for her. She has no clue what's coming her way. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 hahahahah "insecure bimbo." And yes, that's why I wasn't really bothered. I did he same thing this chick is doing for the entire first year. He was pretty much a saint and I thought the sun shone out of his a.ss. I know the drill with how he acts. Once he starts getting used to her, or they start having issues, he becomes extremely passive and pulls away, and hides for days, and just acts like a coward. I'm being stupid to think that he's somehow going to change. there's the asskicking katzee i remember. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nerd Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Our society likes psychopaths. The Pros to Being a Psychopath | Science & Nature | Smithsonian Magazine 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Our society likes psychopaths. The Pros to Being a Psychopath | Science & Nature | Smithsonian Magazine Interesting. Although my ex doesn't tick any of the boxes of being a pyschopath. Psychopaths are assertive. - Maybe in his job. Not in any other aspect of life. Psychopaths don’t procrastinate. - Biggest procrastinator ever. Psychopaths tend to focus on the positive. - Most negative person I know. I could do 10 great things, and 1 bad thing. He'd harp on that 1 bad thing and completely glaze over everything else. Psychopaths don’t take things personally. - If I offended him, even if it wasn't a personal attack, he'd ignore me days. they don’t beat themselves up if things go wrong, even if they’re to blame. - He never took any responsibility for things going wrong. And if things were wrong, he'd be massively insecure and negative and hard on himself. And they’re pretty cool under pressure. - he can't handle pressure. So, interesting article but my ex is still just a douchebag. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Interesting. Although my ex doesn't tick any of the boxes of being a pyschopath. Psychopaths are assertive. - Maybe in his job. Not in any other aspect of life. Psychopaths don’t procrastinate. - Biggest procrastinator ever. Psychopaths tend to focus on the positive. - Most negative person I know. I could do 10 great things, and 1 bad thing. He'd harp on that 1 bad thing and completely glaze over everything else. Psychopaths don’t take things personally. - If I offended him, even if it wasn't a personal attack, he'd ignore me days. they don’t beat themselves up if things go wrong, even if they’re to blame. - He never took any responsibility for things going wrong. And if things were wrong, he'd be massively insecure and negative and hard on himself. And they’re pretty cool under pressure. - he can't handle pressure. So, interesting article but my ex is still just a douchebag. lol. and again, this is why i like you. you say he's just a douchebag instead of adding some psychological tag to him to make you feel better, like ZOMG HE IS A NARCISSIST!!111 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KatZee Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 and again, this is why i like you. you say he's just a douchebag instead of adding some psychological tag to him to make you feel better, like ZOMG HE IS A NARCISSIST!!111 hahahahah well i DO believe my ex is a narcissist and emotionally unavailable. But he's a douchebag too. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 KatZee thankyou for posting because I pretty much wanted to post the same thing. It annoys me too. Link to post Share on other sites
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