lover10mtl Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 ok...heres how it is....I have this really close friend, Lucas. He's been my best friend since freshman year in High School. It's been 4 years later and we are still really close friends. We know everythign about eachother and love spending time with eachother. But something happened, unexpectantly. One ngith when it was just me adn him, something came over both of us and we just started making out. and then......had sex. How does that happen?? We liek didnt even relize that we did it 'till after the fact. We just kept going at it and we both felt soo comfortable with eachother. Another thing is..we wern't even drunk or anything. We both don't even drink. So anyways, it dodnt even get weird, we just forgot about it, and acted the same as we did before. But, of course theres a flaw. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! And we both knew it at the time. He has been with her for almost a year and a half. It's weird because right after we had sex, he told me that if he wasn't with her, we would be together. So, time went on and we both still are closer than ever. But, I have started having these really deep feeligns for him. He's been my best friend for sooo long, and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or what!! What should I do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Well to begin with, you had sex but didn't realize that until AFTER the fact.. From what you've said, there isn't anything for you to do.. He told you (again after the fact) that IF he wasn't with his girlfriend he would be with you.. but he IS with his girlfriend, it doesn't appear that he has any plans on breaking up with his girlfriend.. so I guess that leaves you with two options.. stay his friend (without benefits) and move onto someone else romantically.. OR tell him that you have feelings for him as more than a friend and let the cards fall where they may. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
unimoko Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 oh how scummy. Your 'best-friend' wants his cake and eat it too. If he really wanted you he would have broke up with his gf after you had sex, but he didn't and he said he won't. I agree with the previous response, you need to find someone who WANTS to be you. Your best friend is in love with the comfort and familarity of you, but he doesn't want you. That's hard to hear given all the years you have spent together but trust me honey it needs to be said. Good Luck -the unimoko Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 Sometimes a very deep & committed love can be built out of friendship. But not if it is predicated by him cheating on his girlfriend of one and a half years. I agree with unimoko - If his feelings for you were strong enough he would stop seeing his current girlfriend in order to start a relationship with you. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I think that he should tell his girlfriend, or that you should. Then, I think you need to get yourself tested for STDs, you never know how many other girls he's boinked. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 If you have a relationship with this guy how do yoy know he won't go around and do the same thing to you? Be weary of that. His poor girlfriend. I agree with Unimoko If he wanted to do things properly with you he would've broken up with his girlfriend first. He just wants the best of both worlds. If he has broken up with his girlfriend after what happened between you too straight away then there may be a slight chance between you too but if not then maybe you should re think about this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
itr Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 tell him you made a mistake and don't have sex with him anymore. in fact, you reevaluate your friendship with happen him, remembering: it takes two to tango. to be honest, just for me, i would think about (may not do it or be brave enough), to tell her, or tell him to or you will. would you want to know? what kind of world do you want to live in? sorry this happened to you, and him. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 I can already see this now. His best friend (a female) and his girlfriend will have problems. I'm very certain there is a level of sexual attraction between the both of you and it has been there for a long while. Hmmm. Kinda messed up for him to cheat on his girlfriend, You don't seem to see that side of that do ya? He may be your "best friend" but he doesn't have integrity or loyalty for that fact. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 I can already see this now. His best friend (a female) and his girlfriend will have problems. I'm very certain there is a level of sexual attraction between the both of you and it has been there for a long while. Hmmm. Kinda messed up for him to cheat on his girlfriend, You don't seem to see that side of that do ya? He may be your "best friend" but he doesn't have integrity or loyalty for that fact. Link to post Share on other sites
DayumQuitPlayin Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 I'm sorry.. but I hate people who cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends. That is so wrong. I believe you that 'something came over you two' but.. still.. if he loved his girlfriend.. he wouldnt have let it go further. You should have respected his girlfriend..and not let it lead into sex. But ofcourse.. most people now-a-dayz..have no control over those type of feelings. I think you should tell your bestfriend how you truly feel about him. See how he feels about you. Tell him to be one hundred percent honest with you. I don't know you bestfriend.. so I can't say that he's just wanting to tap that ass.. or if he really feeling you like that.. but talk to him.. ask him what he thinks about you.. and ask him to tell you what he thinks of you feeling the way you do towards him. If he decides to break up with his girlfriend ( which I doubt ) since they've invested alot of time.. being with eachother.. then good for you. If he decides to stay with her.. then I suggest you really try to find someone who can be your boyfriend. Don't allow your friendship with him to be a 'friends with benefits' type.. because that is really wrong.. and I'm sure his girlfriend would be really heart broken if she were to find out. As much as I feel that she has the right to know... I think you two should keep that a personal thing between the two of you. Don't let her find out.. it will only cause stress and heart ache.. and potential fighting. Talk it out with him... you'll find your answers through him... Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
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