a bit confused and not sure what to do

[happily_divorseing]

ok... i just got back from spending a wonderful week with my bf. ( i am from mi and he is in nc). i may need some helpful tip or just damn good advice..we have been talking since november. i met him in march. so we have been dateing since then.. he makes me feel so good about myself.(ex husaband didnt). so that is a big plus. everything about him i love.

 

 

ok the problem is.. i want to move there, to nc.. but, i dont know excatly how he feels about me. he has asked me a number of time when am i moveing down there..i have told him that i love him. he has only told me once that he loves me.

 

 

i want to ask him so many questions.. but am afraid of the response..he bought me this beautiful ring (not engagement ring). i wanna ask him so bad what it means, like if it is just a freind ring, or just because. i wanna ask him if he loves me or if he misses me. but i dont like to ask questions, just the way i am. i wanna know what he is feeling. so i can desided what to do.

 

 

how can i get over not wanting to ask questions.

 

i am haveing a bit of financal problems right now too. so i dont know when i will be able to be in his arms again.

on my way home last night. driving down the ohio turnpike, i found myself thinking about him and how much i cant spend my life without him, and i started to cry, driving and crying is not good. and i came to this question that i have to ask him.. i want to be with him so bad, that i wanna ask him to move to mi, but am scared to ask. i feel i would be being selfish if i ask him to do that, cuz i dont wanna take him from his family, and he knows i want to move out of mi. but just until i get back on my feet finacally, which my take about a year and a half. but i want to be with him so bad, i feel empty inside. he doesnt know about my money problems, i dont like to tell or share my problems with people.

 

 

 

 

so i am hopeing maybe some of you have been where i am,, or if any of you have any thought on it, i would appreciate it

[Majik45]

I think with all the questions going on in your head right now, you're just going to have to be honest and ask him how he feels. You need to get the lines of communication going, because you obviously have a lot of doubts about the situation. Is the reason you're afraid to ask because you are afraid of the answer you will get?

 

I have just started seeing this girl that I met on the Internet. We don't live near as far away as she's about 3 hours away or so. We pretty much ahve set the standard that we can talk about anything and nothing is off limits. It really has been a blessing in the young relationship to help us grow closer, and I feel like we are both being very honest with each other. I know I am.

 

I think you need to have a serious discussion with him.

[happily_divorseing]

Originally posted by Majik45

I think with all the questions going on in your head right now, you're just going to have to be honest and ask him how he feels. You need to get the lines of communication going, because you obviously have a lot of doubts about the situation. Is the reason you're afraid to ask because you are afraid of the answer you will get?

 

I have just started seeing this girl that I met on the Internet. We don't live near as far away as she's about 3 hours away or so. We pretty much ahve set the standard that we can talk about anything and nothing is off limits. It really has been a blessing in the young relationship to help us grow closer, and I feel like we are both being very honest with each other. I know I am.

 

I think you need to have a serious discussion with him.

 

 

 

 

yes i am afraid of the answers.. he says that we can talk about anything.. but i dont want to be a loser in his eyes....and if answers the questions the way i want him to... i would be the most happest girl in the world... and i am afraid of that... in my marriage.. i was not happy... so i am scared of how it would be.. do u know what i mean... to have someone love you, just as much, or more, when u love that person... i have not felt that way.. and i do feel he loves me.. but i need to know for sure... i agrees with the serious discussion thing..i just have to get enough guts to start it...he is a very kind and loving man.. i am happy that i found someone like that.. so i dont know why i feel like that.. but i would like to thank you for the reply..

[amer]

If I were you I sure as heck would not move to NY on the hope that he will bail you out financially or that he may love you in a serious way.

 

1. you should not depend on him to support you just yet, not when things are so murky. Concentrate on the employment you now have, it's concrete. Do you have something in NY waiting for you that will pay your way?

 

2. You need to get a commitment from him about love and the future together. I'm thinking a marriage proposal and a wedding date. Call me old fashioned.

[happily_divorseing]

Originally posted by amer

If I were you I sure as heck would not move to NY on the hope that he will bail you out financially or that he may love you in a serious way.

 

1. you should not depend on him to support you just yet, not when things are so murky. Concentrate on the employment you now have, it's concrete. Do you have something in NY waiting for you that will pay your way?

 

2. You need to get a commitment from him about love and the future together. I'm thinking a marriage proposal and a wedding date. Call me old fashioned.

 

 

 

 

actually he lives in north carolina....oh no i could never ask or expect him to help me finacially... it is my responsiablity.. and i could never ask that...no i dont have anything waiting for me in nc,, but him.. i could transfer jobs if i do move there. actually we both have said that we dont wanna get married... he has never been married... and i have been divorsed for like 4 weeks... maybe in the future... but not sure.